Am I Not Entertained? November 2024’s Movies

I’m almost there. At the end of 2023, I stated that I would write twelve articles, roughly one a month on this blog. We are now at the end of November, and this is article is number eleven. With my December article being my favourite films of the year, this feels an underwhelming introduction to the last monthly summary of films. Do I do a Frank Sinatra?

Regrets, I have a few, but then again, everyone regretted Uglies, Mean Girls and Joker 2.

Do we end with a that’s all folks, or a classic movie final line?

In case I don’t see you, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Goodnight

Well, not that. Technically, it’s not the last line. That’s Scully from Brooklyn nine-nine saying “What else is on?”

Maybe, I just do an overly long introductory bit that most of the two readers will have skipped through by now to see what I think of the one film they’ve seen this month, purely ignoring my blood and sweat which has gone into the words, only looking for that futile star rating. Yeah, that sounds about right.

My month started with Juror #2, the Clint Eastwood film which is destined for a straight to streaming release, but awkwardly was in a couple of cinemas. Unfortunately, one of my local cinemas was one of the ones it was playing in.

We all like twelve angry men (unless we’re talking about the President elect and his team. Screw that guy). Now see what it looks like when one of the jurors actually did the crime. Nicholas Hoult plays said Juror who believed he hit a deer on his way home one night. Many months later, it turns out that there was a murder on the same night, that he is now a juror in. Contrived? Well, not as contrived as the rest of the plot. The hodge podge group of jurors all have coincidental skills, such as a doctor and an ex-detective who isn’t convinced something is right. There is a lack of suspense, with the only form of suspense being Juror’s incredible desire to make the wrong decision at every turn, decisions no person in the audience would make.

It’s your stereotypical dumb film made for dads that mine didn’t particularly like either. But, it was an evening out with him, so that was nice.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

My next movie evening was a night out with Aunt to watch The Room Next Door. Having promised her this film, and watched Emilia Perez instead with mother, their bitter sibling rivalry meant a lot weighed on this film. Who would watch the better film with me? The answer was mum. Both aunt and I have seen both now, and I doubt she’d begrudgingly disagree.

Pablo Almodovar’s English debut is as stagy and melo-dramatic as his movies usually are, however The Room Next Door lacks the charm of some of his great predecessors (All About My Mother for example). Tilda Swinton plays a character who is ill and wants to die. Julianne Moore is a friend who has come back into her life. Both are a bit boring and pretentious and go to an AirBnB where Swinton will kill herself at some point. It’s the sort of film Swinton likes, that I don’t. I genuinely don’t consider her a bad actress. We just have different tastes in films, and she picks ones she likes. She’s good in this. Julianne Moore is, however, weepy and repetitive to the point that this film feels longer than its sub two hour run time. The screenplay is clunky at times, there were a couple of lines I actually found funny which weren’t meant to be. It’s okay arthouse snobbery at it’s most meandering form. Good if its your sort of film.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Netflix quietely released the documentary The Remarkable Life of Ibelin. About a Scandanavian boy called Mats, this movie starts by showing his life from his parents’ perspective. He lived with a degenerative muscular dystrophy. As he grew up, he became more hermitted, played video games and passed away. His family felt his life was wasted, until they found his blog and made one last post. Then floods of e-mails came in from his fellow World of Warcraft players.

The second half of the movie recreates the chat logs from world of warcraft, showing Mats’ character Ibelin interacting with others, changing their lives and falling in love with them, as well as tragically showing his own limitations and struggles far more than his parents could. It was a really interesting style of film, portraying a narrative well, intercutting it with real life footage of those who Mats played with.

As someone who has never been able to navigate the digital world, this story shows empathy for others who not only have done so as a comfort, but as a necessity. It’s their chance to be who they want to be, and while there is an older generation who don’t get it, I hope this film can be used to show what this is for people.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

The current frontrunner for the Oscar best picture was next. Anora is the new film from Sean Baker who made the okay Tangerine, the not so okay Red Rocket, and the downright masterpiece The Florida Project, a movie which should have won best picture. The director who usually focuses on slice of life instead brings in a plot in this audience hit which is one not to watch with the grandparents if you don’t fancy an awkward Christmas.

Anora (Mikey Maddison) is a sex worker who doesn’t have much going on in life. One day a Russian man of mystery called Ivan asks for her as she speaks the lingo. They have a mad rush few weeks where they appear to fall in love. They marry. News reaches home, and his family send henchmen to get Anora and Ivan annulled, against their wishes.

When I was watching the film, I was really enjoying it. It’s far more comedic than the trailers suggest. Maddison and Mark Eidelstein have so much chemistry as the titular characters that their first hour is a romp. The henchmen each bring their own humour and personalities to the characters, with Yuri Borisov as Igor a standout. The script is tight, with plenty of enjoyable moments, and the film feels shorter than its two and a half hour run time. I think what stopped it being great is that we don’t get to know Anora well enough. The plot gets in the way of the characters, not letting them breathe as much as in The Florida Project. Since I watched the film, I’ve felt less enamoured as I thought about it more. However, it is a fun evening out.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

If you had Lego George Floyd Protests on your 2024 film bingo card, you might want to call the line as the new Pharell documentary came out last month. Piece By Piece is an animated lego style movie telling Pharell Williams’ story. It is interesting, watching such a big producer becoming a household name. It was full of energy and generally fun. There are some enjoyable gags, such as a PG Spray being sprayed when Snoop Dogg is smoking.

The film does feel unchallenging and very much playing into Pharell’s ego, with the lego not adding as much. Being Mr Despicable Me, I would’ve found it funnier if they made his biopic but he and everyone else were minions. I’m being silly. It’s a fine movie.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Three documentaries in a week Joe? Three? That’s more than you’ve watched for the rest of the year, surely. Well, yeah, sometimes I just don’t have time to watch them, and sometimes some can catch my eye. The best documentary of the year so far is No Other Land. A co-production between Palestinian Basil Adra and Israeli Yuval Abraham, the documentary shows them as activists and the danger they put themselves in during the years prior to the events of October 7th 2023.

The movie particularly focuses on the illegal destruction of the Masafa Yatter community on the West Bank by Israeli forces, forcing Palestinians to live in caves or in increasingly crowded cities. It shows the impact on these two as well as the Palestinian locals. It’s a really distressing, but essential watch, showing what is happening when the media won’t do so. If there were one film you should urgently watch this year, this is the one.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

The Piano Lesson was the latest August Wilson play to be adapted into a movie. The third in the last ten years after Denzel Washington and Viola Davis starred in Fences, and the late Chadwick Boseman starred in Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, TPL stars John David Washington, formerly of Blackkklansman fame and Danielle Deadwyler of Till as a couple of siblings who have a piano in their childhood home. One wants to sell it, the other wants to keep it.

Adam saw this a few months ago, and did warn me it was pretty naff. I should have heeded (hed?) his warning, because it was naff. While Deadwyler is great, Washington just lacks that extra bit of spark that Boseman had in Ma Rainey. His character is a grifter, but you don’t really care. The stage play still feels jaunty, not flowing as one hopes. Maybe there was a lack of thematic tightness. The scenes just felt dull and uninspiring. It was such a slow mover that just wouldn’t end. You knew how it would as well. Just a disappointing movie.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Anyway, once I’d seen that movie, I walked from Victoria to Soho to watch Bird which was a much better film. Bailey is a young teenager living in poverty with her dad (Barry Keoghan) who is getting married soon and hoping to get money from a drug frog. She meets the mysterious Bird (ASBO winner Franz Ragowski) whom she looks to help find his family, while learning about herself at the same time.

A welcome mix of small scale social realism and fantastical elements, with a proper warm humour, there are plenty of elements to like. Both Keoghan and Rogowski support well, while the young leads all do their bits. The script feels tight and tender, with some wonderful needle drops, and a humorous fourth wall break about a certain song, which was one of the funniest moments of film this year. The production design is well done and frankly everything feels really smartly put together. It’s not some great magnus opus, but a small, simple film which is worth searching out about finding who you are in the world.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

I fell asleep during Small Things Like These so don’t feel able to comment on it, so I won’t, but it did make me fall asleep.

One film which did keep me awake however, was Blitz, the new Steve McQueen film featuring a set of big name British stars, including Saoirse Ronan. George, a young mixed-race boy is sent away from London as part of the WWII evacuations, decides to jump off the train and go and find his mum. In this time, he’ll encounter a variety of good and bad characters straight out of a kid’s movie, as well as almost drowning in an underground station, running from bombs and racism.

If that sounds a rather haphazard description, that is because it kind of is. The movie feels at times like a kids film, much like a Dickens or a Railway Children. It then switches to a grown up film in other scenes. It doesn’t know its audience, which leads to frustration. However, there are some good things as well. Ronan is great, the child acting is questionably early Harry Potter standard, and there are a couple of great scenes, including one in a dance hall. There is heart at times, but the film seems disjointed and simple in others. Compared to other movies Steve McQueen has done, this one feels comparatively weak. It’s on Apple TV+ where it will probably spend an eternity.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

This month I watched both Gladiator and Gladiator 2 for the first time on the big screen. In both, a character fights in a war, their spouse dies, they’re captured and they both become accomplished gladiators in a bid for their freedom and to overturn the corrupt villains. So yeah, they’re pretty similar, except that this time Paul Mescal plays Russel Crowe’s son and there are two emperors.

There are some good things happening in this film. While there are ridiculous CGI monkeys and flooded coliseums, these action scenes are entertaining enough if you suspend your disbelief. Paul Mescal, while no Crowe, is perfectly fine bringing his sad man instead of Crowe’s angry man. Denzel Washington particularly stands out as Mescal’s owner and the emperor’s advisor. If anything gets an oscar nod non-technically, it will be Washington’s performance.

However, this film wasn’t as good as the original for a good few reasons. As well as not adding anything tangible, the most nefarious downgrade was replacing Joaquin Pheonix’s fearsome leader with the loud and annoying Weasley twins (Not actually played by the Weasley twins), characters so annoyingly stupid that it doesn’t make sense for them to be emperors.

I actually did enjoy Gladiator 2. It was an easy piece of entertainment, even if it didn’t live up to the original. It’s by no means Ridley Scott’s worst film about an Italian Dynasty falling apart because of a semi-related outsider.

Four boofs out of five

British independent films current favourite topics seem to be a middle class person making a film about poor people (see Souvenir or whatever else Ken Loach made) or lost young gay people finding themselves (See Unicorn or Femme or Pretty Red Dress for just the last 12 months), so when another one comes out you hope it will do something unique. Unfortunately, Layla really fails to do so.

A young drag artist finds a boy they like, they date but aren’t compatible. You realise this early on and have to watch two hours of back and forth, wont they wont they. Layla also has to deal with their own demons around being from a British Asian family and having not come out to them. The whole film is rather paint by numbers standard British Indie-faire and the two leads don’t have chemistry. I’m getting tired and still have to write about Conclave and Wicked.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Everything about Conclave sounds like it would be theoretically boring. A pope dies, so a bunch of middle aged blokes need to vote for a new one. That’s pretty much it. However, it’s one of the most entertaining political thrillers in many a year. Ralph Fiennes plays Cardinal Lawrence, the dean of the Conclave, meaning he has to run the election which is mainly between a few parties. Todesco is a bad mf who likes to drop a vape at only the best moments. He’s more conservative and wants to bring the church back to where it was. Bellinni (Stanley Tucci) wants to take it into the future, while John Lithigow’s Tremblay seems to have a dodgy secret about him. However, soon Lawrence, who is currently in a crisis of faith with the church, realises that nobody is what they seem and that everyone has some form of sin surrounding them.

The script for this movie is really tight, with each twist and turn being intriguing. Despite the big cast, it’s easy to follow. There is an adept social mirroring looking at our communities and democracies themselves. The film feels separate but close to our world. It also balances the serious with the entertaining, with a fun level of camp at times.

Shot on location, the film is beautiful with Rome looking wonderfully imposing and director Edward Berger using the surrounding art to great effect. However, the highlight of the movie is Ralph Fiennes. He is in a crisis of faith which he shows in an understated way and his feelings about becoming the pope feel both hidden and revealed in contradicting ways, almost up against Tucci’s character who clearly wants to become pope despite saying otherwise.

Out of the big awards nominees, this one is probably my favourite so far. It’s an entertaining and interesting story which will both appeal to indie film nerds and a wider general public as a twisty political thriller.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Wicked: Part one came out this month. I don’t know if you knew. I did. It’s been everywhere. Based on the 2003 musical, John Chu directs the first half of the musical, stretching it out to a gargantuan two hours and forty minutes. The movie is a prequel to the wizard of Oz as Glinda the good witch (Ariana Grande) tells (half the) full story of how she met the Wicked Witch of the West, Elphaba (Cynthia Eviro). In this movie the two characters both enroll into Shizz University (yeah, really), under the tutelage of Michelle Yeoh. Elphaba is green and unpopular, while Glinda is not green and popular. They end up as dorm mates and this half is about their friendship growing, while Elphaba is worried about the treatment of animals in Oz (Our vegan queen).

While the only thing more full on than this film’s run time is the marketing campaign, the film never feels slow. It’s a warm comfortable hug and a sweet family film. The whole thing feels grand (ba-dum-tsh) and impressive in scale. Erivo takes on her role well, with a strong voice which does defy gravity convincingly. However, the real stand out is Ariana Grande. While most likely supporting in the awards campaign, the co-lead is funny and heartfelt, with Grande showing off her acting and singing chops to great effect in a film much better than her cameo debut of Don’t Look Up. Every song is a bop and the whole film is solidly shot by Chu who has good experience with In The Heights.

However, while the film was good, there were a few issues which did lead to it not being quite to the level of hype I’d heard about. Firstly, it looks ugly. The set pieces are spectacular, but the whole movie is washed out, heavily contrasting the beautiful technicolour we know and love from the Oz of the 1930s. There were a couple of moments I did want things to move on a bit quicker, however on the whole these were minor qualms. By no means a bad film.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

So yeah, film of the month is No Other Land. See you for Post #12

October 2024: The title which isn’t clickbait

So I was talking in the pub to my not particularly esteemed colleagues. The existence of this blog comes up. They’ve seen it, I don’t hide it. Luke Harrison mentions that the jokes in here are the same ones I used at work which got the best reaction, suggesting I don’t see my 9-5 as providing the cutting edge good or service I provide, but merely as a test lab for blog lines. Well, that’s it. No more jokes there, or on the blog. Done, finitum, tough luck. He also accused me of using clickbait titles. That’s also done, finitum, tough luck.

Anyway, the rumours are false. I was not given a nice suit and tie to give The Substance five stars. Free tickets to watch Taylor Swift to hype up Paddington 2? Fake news. Anyway, what is true is that between work trips, holiday trips and illness is that my film watching has been limited to Netflix plus a couple of other bits and pieces. Therefore, this piece will be a brief write up of three films of choice.

Let’s start off with Joker: Folie a Deux. I won’t talk along about it to say anything other than it’s the worst film I’ve seen for a couple of years. Following Arthur’s murderous spree, he’s in jail. He has a court case. He starts to feel regret about his actions. He also falls in love with Lady Gaga’s Harley Quinn. It’s a hodge-podge of a plot which gets worse and worse. The film is boring, the characters are a mess, it’s boringly unprovocative. It forgets what it wants to do.

The worst element however, is that it’s a musical. Pretty much all of the songs are sung by Joaquin Pheonix, an actor who can’t sing. Meanwhile, most of the acting attempts were done by Mrs Gucci herself, Lady Gaga, a singer who can’t act. It was rubbish, utter tosh. Don’t watch it. I’m not even putting a trailer up to tempt you. Bye

Rating: 0.5 out of 5.

Speaking of crime musicals, Emilia Perez was released in cinemas last week (and on Netflix on 13th November). Rita is an underappreciated lawyer and one day is given a mystery call. She is taken to her client, the fearsome cartel boss Manitas who wants Rita to find a doctor to perform gender re-assignment surgery and then help Manitas disappear and keep his family safe.

Flash forward four years into the future, in London Rita meets and recognises the mysterious Emilia Perez who wants to be re-united with her family and also asks Rita to help her new NGO which looks for missing people. The whole thing is a crime movie meets Mrs Doubtfire, with musical showmanship on the top. It won’t work for quite a few people and took a while for me to get into, but once I did, it was a romp.

By Jacques Audiard, this movie is sickly full of style. Attempting to be a crime drama, a musical and a comedy at times, it balances the tone superbly throughout it’s runtime. As well as keeping a good pace, the strongest element of this film is it’s leads. Both Zoe Saldana as Rita, and Selena Gomez as Manitas’ wife Jesse bring in some of the best supporting performances of the year. However, it’s Karla Sofia Gascon, a transgender woman, who leads as both Manitas and Emilia with such grace, making her one of the most interesting characters on the screen.

Emilia is a complex character, fundamentally loving her children beyond all else, however in moments we see Manitas’ anger come back through, in the world of pain. We see her befriend Jesse who is unaware of who Emilia really is, and hear frank reflections on their relationship. It’s a tale of redemption and a cautionary tale of people who don’t change.

The songs, on the whole, were good. Being in Spanish, there aren’t any standouts from one viewing that I can remember, but all of them brought you into the story naturally. The film itself felt like a stage play adaptation, but isn’t based on a stage play. It is an odd tone, and honestly something I probably would’ve enjoyed to see on the stage more. That said, it was still really well made, and will be far more rewarding to see on the big screen than on Netflix.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Film of the Month

A film which isn’t a crime musical which came out this month was the endearing Dreamworks animation The Wild Robot. A service robot called ROZZUM Unit 7134 or Roz, voiced by Lupita N’yongo washes up on an island in a shipwreck and is turned on. Learning about the island, she soon has an accident and is left caring for a goose egg. When this baby hatches, it becomes her task to raise it to swim and fly. As this isn’t in her code, she develops new code and even emotions to help build a bond with this baby and to help it survive. She is helped by a loner fox and starts to get to know all of the local animals in this sweet tale of community.

The first thing to say is how beautiful this movie is. I don’t know when animation got so good, but between this and Puss 2, Dreamworks are really running ahead in the animation game, eclipsing the standard lazy Pixar efforts. This film looks even better than Puss2, with the nature of the island being beautiful and feeling dynamic, to all create a vibrant sense of place.

The supporting cast also create this. Pedro Pascal’s fox is a big player, but Catherine O’Hara’s Pinktail the possum and Matt Berry’s Paddler the beaver are both stand outs. The leads of Nyong’o and Kit Connor as the duck both bring their all and the writing makes this feel a sensitive and emotional movie. It didn’t have me bawling my eyes out quite like the Iron Giant, however it did have me feeling for all the characters.

Of course it’s fairly standard. The three act story may not throw out many surprises. The soundtrack was wonderful, although the random pop song montage of training and time going by in the middle took me out of it a bit. However, the who film with it’s wonderful place and characters and bond between the lead two characters were moving. This film will win the best animated feature at all the awards shows next year, and while I haven’t seen all the others, I will say when it does win, it will be deservedly so.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

One line summaries of the other films I watched:

Rez Ball – Fairly by the numbers basketball high-school drama. It’s harmless

Uglies – Teenagers get turned pretty at 18. Like the substance but rubbish. Some of the worst writing I’ve seen. Nonsense.

A Different Man – Man who had disfigured face gets miracle cure. Like the substance but okay. A bit of a nonsensical drag.

The Outrun – Saorise Ronan is great in drugs drama. Rest of characters don’t get enough time, so world feels a bit hollow. Slow.

The Apprentice – Trump drama well enough acted, a bit of a cheap Godfather. Doesn’t re-invent the wheel but solid

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consent of Suicidal Person – Light hearted indie twaddle. A solid movie, the title is the best bit.

My Old Ass – Surprisingly funny and heartfelt coming of age indie comedy featuring Aubrey Plaza. teenager has a mushroom trip and meets future version of themselves. Worth watching when streaming. Thanks for the recommendation Luke Harrison.

Sing Sing & THE SUBSTANCE

You may notice that this month’s film review is weirdly early (or incredibly late if I run out of time). The reason for this is simple. I am a fugitive. Following my decision to possibly loot a CEX for ten copies of Shakespeare in Love, the police are now after me, for crimes in film taste. I have therefore decided to lie low for a few weeks. However, this does mean a lack of cinema for the forseeable. Oh well, consume your popcorn and don’t be like the woman who earlier today said loudly she was unhappy to be behind someone with a big head. I was in front of her. You didn’t say it quietly. Bitch…

Here are the best and the most disappointing films I’ve seen this year.

There are three films I really want to write about. The first is possibly one of my biggest disappointments of the year. Despite many others loving it, I really don’t get the hype behind Sing Sing. Named after the prison in which this true story was set, the movie shows an acting group preparing for a play. Meanwhile, the happy optimist theatre buff writer Divine G (Colman Domingo) has to deal with an upcoming probation review. He also befriends Divine I, played by Clarence Macklin, a hard man who needs to open up. You can guess how it all goes.

The film relies on its authenticity, with everybody apart from Domingo being a prisoner who was in the group. They all give it a good go, with Macklin especially delivering. The look is nice as well, with a good attempt at cinematography. The gliding camera in the room feels intimate. Colman Domingo was also good and will likely be seen around the awards season. However, I found that the movie felt empty. You never could feel the struggle of the prisoners as you never saw prisoners or life outside the theatre rehearsals. The scenes all felt pretty separate as well, more a loose anthology than a tight narrative. Both of these problems meant that I really didn’t feel the emotional pay off. It felt more as if the movie was telling me to be sad.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

While I often don’t like the horror genre, there is an emotionally intense self hurting toil I do seem to enjoy. Whether that be dance drama Black Swan or car coitus caper Titane. There were elements of both of these in what could be the most marmite film of the year, The Substance.

Demi Moore plays Elizabeth Sparkles, a former big time actress spending her days producing exercise videos, like days of old. On her fiftieth birthday, she finds out the company finds her too old and is replacing her with a younger fresher model. She is then approached about a trial product called The Substance which can be used to hack your DNA and split you into yourself and a younger “more perfect” version (as if Demi isn’t perfect as she is). Except the rule is you must switch between them across seven days. As you can imagine, this film goes mad, and pretty damn gnarly.

The best horror films reflect the society they show. Get Out reflects racism, His House the immigrant experience, Black Swan the ideals of perfection and The Substance is no different. Unapologetically unsubtle, it looks at a celebrity culture which celebrates youth and the dangerous extent people go to in order to capture it. It also looks at how people treat beautiful people differently to those not as conventionally pretty (Again, not that Demi Moore isn’t pretty). The film runs like a Black Mirror episode, revealing a character, an issue, a technology and a consequence of it.

My favourite thing about this movie was the aesthetic. Everything felt hyper realistic. The production design was full of neon colours, while the white bathroom where the horror tends to take place felt out of Saw. The cinematography was unapologetically suggestive, making the younger version of Elizabeth often sexualised, compared to her older character. The music was quite grimey in a fun way that almost played against some of the bubble-gum colours. The sound was horrific, and without spoiling anything, the make up in this movie is the best I’ve seen for years.

The actors were all great as well. Demi Moore put herself in ASBO contention if the Oscars do their usual thing and ignore horror (with the caveat that Natalie Portman did win for Black Swan). Considering her usual sort of film, this one felt vulnerable and expertly done. Margaret Qualley who played Sue, or the younger Elizabeth matched her older counter part’s narcissism. Meanwhile, Dennis Quaid, playing a skeezy programme executive is as over dramatic and entertaining as everything else.

What really takes this film to the next level is the script. Winner of best screenplay at Cannes, this film is so unpredictable. It’s fun because you don’t know where it’s going to go. I was sat there aghast and entertained. Amused at times and unable to look at the screen at others. Comedy and horror are intricately linked here, as the movie satires society accurately.

Undoubtedly one of my favourite movies of the year, The Substance is almost perfect. If only it were 20 minutes shorter, I don’t think I’d have a complaint. The ending did feel ridiculous and overly-long and there were much better ways it could have gone. Obviously, I won’t spoil it here, but yeah. Doesn’t stop it being a give star movie.

Go and watch it, in cinemas September 20th.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Riotously Fun Films: August 2024’s Best and Not As Best Movies

Folks, I have some bad news. This blog could be closed down. I was upset about Jared Leto abeing referred to as an actor. Therefore, I did the one reasonable thing which would show my displeasure. I threw a brick at the window of my local CEX and stole thirty seven copies of the movie Shakespeare in Love. Of course, this showed my strong emotion towards Leto stealing actual Italian actor jobs. I can tell this loves labour of an introduction has been lost on you, so I’ll quickly disclaim that I didn’t smash in the window of the CEX. However, if you know any fans of Joseph Fiennes and Gwenyth Paltrow, then please let me know as I may have a gift for them.

I usually like to go through movies in reverse star order but save my worst until the penultimate to do a show of dragging it through the mud. However, that feels unfair to Radical which while my least favourite, was more a consequence of me not watching any bad movies in August. Lucky me. Radical is a fluffy liberal feel good movie about a teacher going into the slums of Mexico and teaching children at a low attaining school through your classic Dead Poets Society/Mr Bernstein controversial teaching methods, despite the lack of support from those around him.

This film, which is based on a true story, has plenty to like. Eugenio Derbez (most famously in CODA) brings a contagious charistmatic energy. Meanwhile, each of the main three or four children have enough of a personality that they feel real. There are some moments of feeling, however the film at times does feel a bit paint by numbers and soft in an attempt to reach as wide an audience as possible. By no means a bad film, but more of a family film night than a watch to consider tough questions.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Hollywoodgate is an interesting premise of a documentary. Following the withdrawal of US troops from Afghanistan, a documentary film maker is given access to the Taliban for a year, focussing on a couple of generals. It is an interesting look into an area you don’t see much of, especially seeing the weapons the US left behind, now in Taliban hands. However, the biggest limit of this film is that you don’t really get to know the characters or see the wider impact on Afghan society in general.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Only the River Flows is one of China’s highest grossing independent films, mainly thanks to it’s lead star Zhu Liyong. When a detective is left to solve a murder, he looks to do so efficiently. However, after doing so fairly quickly, he begins to have doubts about whether he’s got the right man.

There is plenty to like here. The lead performance, showing the troubled cop, is well done and the 16mm cinematography showing a dark gritty look is amongst the year’s best. There is also a dream sequence about two thirds in which is such a fantastic scene. Those first two thirds are really intriguing, and the film noir genre is kept fresh as we start to worry about whether the detective is losing their mind and what is real. However, from there the film goes a bit down hill as it loses its bite. It’s difficult not to compare this to Bong Joon Ho’s memories of murder. Thematically similar, this film struggles without the lashing criticism of power that it so clearly wants to hint at. Even the bolted on epilogue seems to pay homage with its final shot matching that of the Korean masterpiece. It really is frustrating as there is such a good idea.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

It’s always refreshing to see a good quality animation, especially when based on some good fiction. Kensuke’s Kingdom is based on the Michael Morpurgo book of the same name. Done in a way which feels like a childrens book illustation, we see Michael get lost on his family boat and wake up with Stella on a seemingly abandoned island. However, soon he finds out he’s not alone, but on an island with another human, the old and lonely Kensuke who’s job is to protect the animals.

With a suprisingly high quality acting cast including Ken Wanatabe, this film is full of a lot of soul. It’s short running, but it has a good pace, keeping that Michael Morpurgo magic. There are moments of genuine heart as the child learns to protect nature and we learn more about Kensuke’s past, which while the younger audience won’t appreciate the gravity of, the older ones certainly will. If it’s available on streaming, I would recommend it as a really solid family drama.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

The best documentary you’re going to watch (Watch it, damn it) dropped on Netflix last month. Daughters almost feels like a companion piece to Sing Sing, the Colman Domingo film I watched on the night of typing this (except this film is much better). A group of fathers of young girls are going to have a daddy, daughter dance in ten weeks time in a US prison. For a number of them, the privatised system has restricted the time and relationships they have with their children.

The movie starts with listening to prisoners talk about their relationships with their children and their regrets. In between, we also meet the children, seeing their views on their fathers. These are mature and diverse from love to anger. Even the younger children are aware of whats going on in a slightly naïve way. We then go to the dance which will make you cry, before we see some of the people in the coming months. It’s a really mature, understated and heartfelt documentary, so of course Netflix have hidden it behind annoying Olivia Colman movie. Watch this instead.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

“I’m going to blow you like the Brighton Hotel”

That’s not a line you want to see in a movie you’re watching with your folks. However, that juvenile attitude we see in Kneecap is very much the charm. Somewhat, a surprise hit and one that many I’ve talked to have seen or were going to see, it’s set in the late 2010’s and shows the (rather liberally told) story of the coming together of the Irish language rap group Kneecap in a time the British Government weren’t willing to protect it. Liam and Naoise are strongly anti-brit, a sentiment instilled by their father. One of them likes writing rap lyrics. When an interepreter/music teacher, JJ, helps him out with the police and sees his lines, they form the group Kneecap, much to the authorities’ displeasure.

The story sounds ridiculous, and at times looks it. Dad didn’t realise it was a true story until the end, which makes the pay offs even more novel. Not one for the faint hearted with all the drugs, sex and bombs, there is lots to enjoy. The dialogue was phenomenal. It was laugh a minute and may have been the funniest film of the year, even at the weirdest times. The acting was also suprisingly good. The three leads all played themselves. DJ Provai in particular brought out a stellar rperformance, so move aside Lady Gaga. The music was entertaining and the pace was lightning quick to create a fun, genuinely interesting story. If you want a slightly wacky grown up film, this is the one to choose.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Film of the Month

What a month for films. I can already say that September won’t live up to it. Such a variety of great films, that I hope you’ve found one you want to dig out. There is one more for your consideration, and that is Didi.

Chris is an American born child to Chinese immigrants. As a young teenager in 2008, he is known as Chris, Didi or Wang Wang to different people showing his identity. This classic coming of age shows him trying to find his identity, moving between friends and dealing with such an awkward stage of teenage life that you both feel nostalgia for and are equally thankful you’ll never have to go through again.

Very much feeling a complimentary piece to Eighth Grade, this shows the millenial angst of growing up with such integrity. It really captures the awkwardness of interactions, and whenever Chris makes a mistake, you feel for him as the story shows you why he’s doing it. Both Izaac Wang and Shirley Chen in the mother role bring great performances. It’s a wonderful and empathetic film, which if it can find an audience is one of the best crowd pleasers of the year.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

July 2024’s Belated Films

Since I last wrote, the author of 10DSFansofJaredLeto have moved. A big day following 12 years of Jared Leto loving film blogs having power. But when one blog leaves, a new rival emerges. This time, 10DowningStreetFansofOliviaColman. A popular option amongst the public, but not one here. the scenery chewing and desire to take every scene she’s in means we have doubt about this new blog. But, let’s see. At least ClactonFansOfWhiteManFilmsLikeTaxiDriverandFightClubandWolfOfWallStreetOMGThatShouldBeMyLife isn’t the opposing film blog to contend with. (That was a one time joke, I’m never typing that out again).

Anyway, loyalists will note this blog is late. I’ve been busy. I know this is the only thing to keep you alive, ready for the lull until next month, but please you addicts stop. Therefore, this blog will be a bit shorter, focussing on a smaller sample of films from the month. Therefore, I won’t tell you how average Long Legs was (A silence of the lambs wannabe) or how I Saw the TV Glow was wonderfully stylish but the substance felt empty. I definitely also won’t tell you how the 2 hours and 20 minutes of Fly Me to the Moon was probably the most generic film I’ve ever seen, which is an accomplishment in itself. Instead, let’s turn on Eurythmics and talk about

Kinds of Kindness is the new film from Yorgos Lanthimos, who also did Poor Things, one of my favourite films of the year so far. This film is a set of three stories (There is a word for it which I’m not googling). In the first, Jessie Plemons’ character will do anything for his boss Willem Dafoe, who pays him and sets up a comfortable life for him. Things begin to go awry when he is asked to kill a man. In the second story, Plemons is convinced his wife, played by Emma Stone isn’t who she says she is. In the third, they run a cult looking for someone who can resurrect the dead. There is a small cast used in all three stories. However, the stories aren’t related.

This is Yorgos back to his weirdest, and his most emotionally detatched. Fans of his style will be enamoured by this movie, however those who aren’t devotees will find it to be a bit of a slog. The second story about the fake wife is the weakest, with the first and third being moderately entertaining. However, it is a struggle to sit through almost three hours of essentially nonsense. Despite that, there are some funny moments and the film is well acted and creative. An interesting experiment, but very much only for fans of Lanthimos’ style

Rating: 3 out of 5.

A good film Grandmother is something precious on screen. It gives you a feleing of warmth and trust. You see your relationship with them mirrored in those on screen. Think Minari, The Farewell, and the new film Thelma.

Despite the tacky looking trailer, Thelma really is full of heart. When the titular character, played by June Squibb in her first leading role at the tender age of 93, is scammed out of £10,000 from someone pretending to be her grandson, her family want to think about her future and whether it’s time to put her into a home. Much against this, she pairs up with a home-bound old friend and goes out to find the money. The whole film is brilliantly funny, with camera work and a score which you’d find in your classic espionage heist. This comedy only works because of the beautiful tender moments, and the vulnerabilities these characters show and have to face in their age. The film’s lead is based on the director’s own grandmother, and you can tell as this film is a beautiful love letter to all grandmothers out there.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Clearly, grumpy older lady is the flavour of the month, as the phenomeal Crossing also features a woman looking for one last adventure. This time, however, it’s a Georgian woman who brings a young neighbour to Turkey to find her transgender niece. Meanwhile, a transgender lawyer is falling in love in a co-current story and helping residents of their block. A far less comic and more dramatic piece, this sees Mzia Aribuli bring one of the year’s best performances.

The film is beautifully shot, with characters well realised. Each feels lonely in a big bustling world and full of regret. They’re all missing some form of family and regretting their actions. No character feels judged, instead a story is just told. It’s a wonderful telling of transgender characters who exist without question. They are just there. It’s a sweet, tender, grown up movie, and a much better watch, I imagine, than the latest Marvel rubbish (which admittedly I haven’t seen).

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

My film of the month is probably the lowest budget movie I will have seen this year. Hundreds of Beavers is a slapstick, Chaplin-esque movie about a local drunkard who wants to get revenge on the local beavers who are reeking havoc, partly to impress a girl.

Very much a loony-tunes but live action movie, every animal is a human wearing a suit. The film feels stupid, but also smart. It has an array of incredible visual gags and many things which happen are linked back later on. It’s incredibly tight and really funny. One of the most creative and most enjoyable films which will be around this year, if you’re going to try one left field movie, make sure it’s this one.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

More entertaining than an England Match? June 2024’s films

I really can’t describe why, but the last month’s film offerings were kind of naff. Well, most of them. Some were really good and amongst the year’s best. Others were like watching England play in the Euros, although at the time of writing, looks like we only need to deal with ten more minutes of it.

I know that if you read this blog, you probably scroll right to the end to see the film of the month, realise you haven’t seen it and don’t want to as it’s some depressing artsy black and white foreign film and click away. Therefore, maybe I should excite you by saying something here. There are pixars, bikes… what’s that, you scrolled already? Sure, whatever. Let’s get on with it.

The first two films I saw this month were competitive for worst film of the month. Somehow A House In Jerusalem wasn’t the worst film of the month. This is despite it being E.T. but instead of an alien, you have the ghost of a dead Palestinian child. A girl who’s lost her mother moves with her Dad to a house in Jerusalem, which is haunted by a young girl who seems to have died a while back. She wants to re-unite the ghost with her family, there is a flying bike ride, some nasty police, you know it. While it’s heart was in the right place, this film was awful. Most sentences were three or fewer words “You alright kid?” “What’s going on?” “No, Dad, No!”. The acting was equally naff. Frankly, the whole film was twaddle.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Riddle of Fire was ultra low budget, like ultra low. It had a lot of charm, much like a disney film of old. Three young paintballing bikeriders, follow a cult into the forest to steal an egg back, so they can make their ill mother a blueberry pie. The villains were the right balance of scary and kid friendly, and there was a nice energy. Regardless of the forced music cues and the questionable child acting, there was enough here to keep me entertained, even if the quality was lacking.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Rosalie was a French film about a very hairy bearded woman learning to love her flaws despite pressure from the outside world, eventually embracing her life as a freak show. So yeah, it’s pretty much The Greatest Showman, but as it’s French, there’s less catchy pop bops and more sex scenes. It was a perfectly passable, well enough acted movie. It didn’t really say much, and was kind of just average. Sorry, I’m trying to get the average films out of the way to talk about the good ones.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

It wasn’t until a last minute review of the blog post that I realised I forgot to review Inside Out 2. Set two years after the first one, life is going great for Riley, she’s about to turn 13 and is enjoying her hockey playing life. However, when she turns 13 and puberty begins, her emotions become heightened and some new buddies come along in the form of Ennui (boredom), Envy, Embarrassment and Anxiety. While the first three are pretty minor, the latter causes all sorts of chaos. I’d say this film was better than the original, with a deeper and more nuanced message. However, the pacing issues and action adventure can be a bit dull. Anxiety was a welcome heartfelt character, and really brought in a nice message and antagonist to the over-bearing, annoying Joy. If you liked the first, this is a good more of the same. If you didn’t, this is a bad more of the same. It’s fairly standard average Pixar-fare of the last few years with enough feel good and over the top characters to keep the kids and those adults who want to be entertained.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

The Bikeriders provided a return to the classic bloke cinema sort of movie. Austin Butler plays a young motorist, Benny who is part of a gang formed by Tom Hardy’s lead, Jonny . In amongst his coming of age, Benny also falls for Kathy. The film documents the start of the Chicago Vandals. We see this group expand from a group of riders to arsonists to a full on gang, with Jonny and Benny seemingly swept along.

While this feels like a well tread set of themes with gangs and passions, it’s fair to say The Bikeriders doesn’t reinvent the wheel (or the other wheel). However, it’s a perfectly solid film. Austin Butler is great, almost to the point I forgive him for Elvis, as re Hardy and Comer. The characters all look like their real life counterparts, and it’s a snappy well paced film. As in most blokey films, the emotions feel little more than surface level, but the general audience for this film won’t care. A perfectly fine day out if it’s hot and you’re looking for air conditioning.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

For quite a while, Lumberjack the Monster looked like it might be my film of the month. A solid film, it certainly didn’t feel worthy of such a title. The new film from Takashi Miike (Audition, amongst others) we start off with a detective braking into a home, where two adults have been experimenting on children’s brains. We then flash forward to the future where psychopath Akira (who’s favourite thing to do is monologuing about being a psychopath) is being hunted down by a mysterious serial killer dressed as Lumberjack the Monster. He also wants to find him before the police do.

This “Netflix Original” is a classic Japanese B-Movie with a convoluted plot, plenty of blood and thrills and some nonsense melodrama. It’s a pretty fun movie, and fans of the sort of action murder thriller blood squirt genre will be enamoured by this movie, which I am glad didn’t make film of the month.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

From bloody Japanese films to sweet intimate Cape Verdan films about a six year old girl and her relationship with her nanny, Ama Gloria may be the polar opposite of the film I just described, but it was just as interesting. Cleo and her nanny Gloria have a really sweet relationship, particularly with Cleo not having a mother, Gloria has taken over that role. However, upon the death of Gloria’s mother, Gloria must return from France to Cabo Verde, and agrees to take Gloria along for the summer.

A light slice of life film, this certainly has lots going on. Gloria has two children of her own, a daughter who is heavily pregnant and a son, slightly older than Cleo, who is jealous that Cleo essentially stole his mother from him. Everyone deals with grief, Cleo being reminded of her own experience. She also feels that she is about to lose her mother again, with saying goodbye to Gloria very soon. This sort of film can be made or broken by a child actor, and thankfully six year old Louise Panzani is fantastic in her role. The film is a warm hug, with characters having real struggles. It gives a look into island life and into the eyes of each character with their issues in a quiet understated way. It’s a really wonderful movie.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Worst Film of the Month

I know my film taste comes across as pretentious, I’m very aware. However, occassionally I find a film so pretentious, so French and so wanky that even I’m like “Jeez, give me a marvel movie over this”. The Beast does that. It’s a dull film about a woman who replaces her emotions to get a job from AI, except this needs to be done through arduous flashbacks to her past lives where she keeps finding George Mackay. It’s slow, it’s dull and I wanted to leave after twenty minutes as there is no hook. To show how artsy and shite this film is, to make a statement, the credits are a QR code. I would write more, but I’ve already forgotten most of it, thank goodness.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

Film of the Month

Sure, you probably don’t want to watch Green Border as it’s a depressing artsy black and white foreign film. However, it is an incredible study of an urgent issue, made with empathy, looking at the best and worst of humanity and how they look at power. This 2.5 hour film starts off with a Syrian family flying to Belarus as they know that Lukashenko will allow them across the border into Poland, in the EU. However, this hopeful film soon takes a dark turn as the Polish border guards send them back to Belarus when nobody is looking. This cycle repeats again and again, with the characters getting weaker and more desperate. The film also focuses on

This incredible movie shows the themes of power as well as society’s perception of these people. Many times they’re called Lukashenko’s weapons, and the cruel treatment is actively ignored, even in people’s faces. There are some genuinely horiffic scenes in this movie as people die and at one point a pregnant woman is thrown over a barbed fence. It really was an upsetting and difficult watch at times. However, cinema is meant to be an empathy machine. It’s controversial in Poland where the Government tried to stop the director making the film. It’s also smart, unapologetically contrasting Poland’s generous response to the Ukraine crisis with that of the Green Border, something I was considering during the runtime, as that was the response I was more aware of.

As well as being evocative, the film was technically great. The cinematography showed some really powerful shots, even in the black and white style. Meanwhile, the script was clever and every single actor was just phenomenal. It was well paced, making all two and a half hours feel important and urgent, even when you couldn’t see the characters. The cast list was so big that at times, you’d lose track of where everyone was, or even not hear about certain characters again, instead fearing the worst in this chaotic uncertainty, a reality for these families.

Green Border is one of the best and most important films of the year, so I do implore you to check it out if you can find it.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Well, maybe one more week of football

Help Me Doctor Zaius: May 2024’s Best and Worst Films

I hate every blockbuster I see from Movie A to Movie Z, thus my decision not to make a monkey out of myself and watch Something of the Planet of The Apes may be considered justified. However, that is a lie as sometimes I like the big films. There were big films out this month otherwise, with the big car one and the tennis one, as well as a slew of smaller films from all over. Despite a slight change of job and a bout of illness, I did get to see some films, so let’s see which films were wrong and which had the spirit of Earth all along.

Challengers is a real thrill ride. It’s a real back and forth between two people in a rivalry which has built as both players look to use strength, luck and working out what the other player will do. There is an intensity which is beautifully captured for quite a unique experience. That is my review of one of my favourite card/board games. The tennis movie, however, was rather underwhelming. The third big feature by Luca Guadagnino following the great Call Me By Your Name and the totally average Bones and All just doesn’t quite hit the spot. Two tennis players who both like the same third tennis player (Zendaya), who is married to one (Mike Faist). When Faist’s player goes through a bad run, his coach-wife who is living through him sends him to a rubbish tournament to get his form back when, oh my word, he ends up back against his old best friend and her ex played by Josh O’Connor.

The film fails as a tennis movie. It’s clearly not made for fans of the sport, both players come cross as geeky and whiney instead of athletes. There is a dissonance in what the director wants to do and what is done. The film also tries to be fun and raunchy, which again it isn’t really. Maybe for the grave-humping TikTok watching Saltburn slurping generation, some people kissing is proper scandal, but compared to what the film wanted to market itself as, it was just a bit dull. Josh O’Connor was tragically under used in a basic script, more on him later though, while Zendaya showed that maybe she should stick to super hero and Disney movies. Whatever, watch it if you want to. Fault.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Hit Man is the new Richard Linklater (School of Rock/Boyhood/Before Trilogy) film, which is due to/has (depending on when I publish this) come out on Netflix. It fundamentally has a really fun idea behind it. Gary Johnson is a nobody teacher who lives a dull life. In his spare time, he helps police with the tech for stake outs when hunting down people who look to hire hit men to kill their loved ones. When the usual actor is suspended, he is thrown in as a fake hit man, a role he revels in. One day, however, he meets a woman fleeing an abusive husband and decides to help give her a second chance. From there, things spiral in this comedy caper.

This film is well made, well enough acted, and probably an interesting story. However, there was one big problem which really stopped me enjoying this film. When in the School of Rock, Jack Black plays a fake teacher, it’s dodgy, but well intentioned. I could get past it. However, when Gary Johnson, the lead character, carries on his fake persona, from a police based position of authority, to sleep with a vulnerable woman and is framed as a hero. This isn’t a 5 minute bit, it’s the whole movie. It just feels creepy and uncomfortable, but hey if you can get over that, you might really like this film.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Confession time, I haven’t seen Mad Max Fury Road. It’s been on my list of films to get around to, however I’ve been saving it for a big screen. This may have meant that I am missing vital context for the prequel Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga. Furiosa was abducted from her home by Dementus (Chris Hemsworth) and saw her mother killed. Naturally, she wants to avenge her mother and return home (which she may or may not do depending on people’s knowledge of what’s in the sequel, again I don’t know). The world, however, is full of nutters in fast cars trying to survive and trade or loot food and gas, which means she needs to become a fighter.

The film has some great elements. It looks great, and I really like the hair and make up and set pieces. It has all the quality elements of a blockbuster done well. Does it re-invent the wheel? No, not particularly. It’s not a film which shows how scarcity and fear lead to tyranny and how we parallel this and can avoid it. It’s a simple bang crash movie which if you’re into you’ll enjoy. A harmless enough picture.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Kidnapped is an Italian mid-budget film based on a true story about a Jewish boy who was taken from his family into the Catholic Church in the twentieth century. Focussing on the moments from his kidnapping until his adulthood, it looks at how this child looks to resist, and the church pressures him. Meanwhile, we also see his family struggle to get him back.

The film is never horrible or properly intense until towards the end. It tonally feels much like those old primary school Secret Garden films which you’d watch and probably find boring as a kid. The actors are all polished and the movie comes with a nice score, meaning it’s not some micro-budget indie film. Telling a story more than saying anything of depth, the simplicity of this film is in its strength, as even if you don’t have the historical knowledge you can still follow what is happening pretty easily. A solid movie.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Love Lies Bleeding sits in an awkward middle ground. While it’s certainly a bit too edgy to be mainstream, Rose Glass’ new film doesn’t quite feel body-horror enough to be a full on cult movie. When Lou, played by the always amazing Kristen Stewart, sees Jackie working out in her gym, it’s love at first sight. Jackie is a body builder who is looking to compete, and naturally Lou fosters a healthy relationship by pumping her with steroids. Meanwhile, Lou’s family is being a bit dodgy with murder and domestic abuse, a situation which she finds herself and Jackie drawn more and more into.

There is plenty to like in this film. Stewart is just wonderful, as is Ed Harris, and the story is novel. I was surprised at how tame it felt compared to Saint Maud, Rose Glass’ previous film, instead taking a more upbeat and hopeful tone, despite the substance abuse. It was clearly made for an art house crowd, but I’m not sure if being in the middle lane will find its audience. The film felt like it could be grim by its sounds, however the last 5/10 minutes just felt silly compared to the grittiness of the rest of the movie. On the whole, a really solid movie.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Pakistani tragic romantic, patriarchy bashing horror movies aren’t for everybody, however if they’re for you, boy is there a good movie which will be up your street, it’s In Flames. Following the death of Mariam’s grandfather, she and her mother Fariha are at a bit of a loss and drifting apart. When Mariam seems to be getting her life back together, tragedy strikes her again, as the worst of both super-natural and the natural start to follow her, men. Meanwhile, her mother is struggling with keeping her flat following her uncle’s attempt to take it from them. Again, men. Can they combine to unite against the patriarchy and the ghosts of the world?

A soft horror in terms of the scale of it all with few jump scares, more a feeling of unease, what this film does best as with most of the genre’s top films is to reflect its society. It’s an angry film with something to say about the treatment of women. It does this in a clever way looking at different forms of mis-treatment they may suffer from micro-aggressions to aggressions. It’s really well written, and fantastically acted by first time actors Ramesha Nawal as the daughter and Bakhtawa Mazhar as the mother. It has a very limited cinema run, but is out on Curzon Home Cinema and is well worth watching.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

A goal of mine has been to tick off one film from every country in the world, therefore when Lithuania’s recent submission for best international film at the Oscars came on, was there any way I could give Slow a miss? And what a gem it was. A cute low budget romantic film, it shows dance instructor Elena meet sign-language interpreter Dovydas. This is quite intentional as they communicate and use their bodies to say things that words don’t. As their relationship blossoms she finds out he’s asexual, which means he isn’t sexually attracted to anybody.

This film was beautiful, with two characters being vulnerable with one another. It looked at things quite maturely, with them trying to build a relationship in a way which isn’t familiar to either. There is a bedrock of insecurity as Elena seems to be used to validation through sex and Dovydas has feelings of inadequacy and not being enough for her. The two actors have so much chemistry and you care so much for them. Meanwhile, the grainy film and handheld cameras reminded me of Once, the Irish singing film. This relationship carries the same intimate feeling as that does, with everything feeling natural. It’s the sort of film which will both break and mend your heart.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Worst Film of the Month

I’m aware that most of the films in my lower rankings this month were big budget, while those which were higher up were smaller independent films. That may make me look snobby, but I don’t care. The biggest flop of the month was also one of the most expensive. It was full of star power, money, loud action but also awful humour and the sort of self loving we all despise in Hollywood. The worst film of the month was The Fall Guy

Ryan Gosling is a stunt man who went through a bad accident, he comes back on set with the director played by Emily Blunt. He finds a dead body, then becomes some sort of spy. It’s like if Cars 2 was real. It’s just really bad. The two actors throw in half baked performances, the story is at best heavily convoluted. There’s really not much to say. Don’t bother. There are better films out there.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Best Film of the Month

When Alice Rohrwacher made Happy As Lazzaro seven or eight years ago, it was this beautiful quiet meditative film that I couldn’t find anyone else whom had watched. Rohrwacher’s new film La Chimera is just as good in very similar ways. Josh O’Connor (that guy again) plays an architect recently released from prison. Still grieving the loss of his wife, he and his gang of grave robbers go around finding shrines using his super-natural gift full of old possessions. The gang claim it to be a victimless crime, as we see death and capitalism together. However, as the film goes on O’Connor’s character meets others who change his ways of thinking.

While not much actively happens during the run-time, there is a powerful pull within which is difficult to put one’s finger on. Of course the acting is brilliant and the story pure, however there’s a quiet spirituality to the movie which creates intrigue. It almost creates a form of fairy tale, relying on grief and character growth. The slow pace may put some people off, however those who truly engage are rewarded with a rich experience. Some beautiful cinematography made this a tapestry to behold, and I left the film afterwards with a quiet sense of profoundness.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Back to Black Screens. April 2024 Films…

Psst, hey you. I’ve got some news, but keep it quiet. I’ve recently moved. To where you ask? Well, a small place called Surbiton. Yes, if you’re a long term reader, you know my fictional blog post nemesis is SurbitonRebelWilsonFanClub, and now we have joined them there. Well, blame my land lords for selling their house. Anyway, if the film of the month on this blog post is pitch perfect 2, then you know they’ve found me…

One third of the way through the year and the monthly film blog posts are going strong. Monthly recaps were offline for a little while with it being ASBO season, thus that and the Oscar post taking up any blog writing time, in amongst flat searching, packing, moving, sleeping on a yoga mat because the pump for the air bed broke and the mattress hadn’t arrived, the broken radiators, life being cruel and cold, basically just be grateful I’m back.

I won’t go into detail about the films I haven’t written about in February and March. All I will say is to watch Red Island, Monster, Robot Dreams, Perfect Days, Dune Part 2 and The Promised Land. Some of them may make my top 20 at the end of the year, but all are good movies.

The Beautiful Game is by no means a bad movie. It’s totally okay. Bill Nighy recruits a new star striker to his homeless world cup team who needs to accept that he is homeless and connect with those around him. You know how the film is going to go and it’s totally okay. It was a calm, easy watch with the family which we will all forget we saw by the end of the year. At the very least, it’s better than Taika Waititi’s Next Goal Wins.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

One of the big films of the month is the much advertised Civil War. The film isn’t about the war, but about some journalists and war photographers who look to document it. It’s not as rip-roaring as it suggests, instead moving at a slow, slightly odd road trip pace. I was disappointed with this movie for a few reasons. Firstly, it sits of the fence far too much. It doesn’t really say anything. Each character is bland and it all feels too sanitised to be a good war movie. Secondly, it acts more as a set of vignettes showing tension. There is literally one scene where the protagonists are being shot at, then it cuts to them being literally back in the car. There is a lack of effect, the characters are boringly stagnant and the conflict isn’t of interest. This could have been epic. Instead, it was just a bit of a dud.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Next Goal Wins was a true story film which tried to wear its heart in the right place. Michael Fassbender plays a failing American coach who is angry with the world. Their FA sends him to manage American Samoa, the worst team in the world, who had recently been beaten 31-0 by Australia. With the team and manager at rock bottom, this whacky comedy is about the coach finding peace and working with the team in their quest to score one goal.

By no means awful, Next Goal Wins provides a couple of laughs, however, doesn’t nail the powerful moments. It’s clearly made by someone who doesn’t like or understand the beauty of football, and it’s very much reflected in this hollow mess.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Io Capitano is your liberal parent’s favourite feel good film about human trafficking which isn’t Wonka. A supposed true story, the movie focuses on two teenagers who leave Senegal to get to Italy to live better lives. While potentially a traumatic movie, it instead focuses on trying to find nice moments, forgoing any emotional impact and emptiness which you can find in better films such as 2013’s The Golden Dream.

The story does feel contrived, however it is somewhat redeemed by a couple of very good lead performances by Seydou Sarr and Bamar Kane. Out of the films up for best international film at the recent Oscars, this was definitely the weakest.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

The Teachers Lounge was another Oscar nominated movie. This German movie is about what happens to a teacher when she accuses a receptionist of stealing her money, a situation made far more awkward as the accused’s child is in her class. Much like Anatomy of a Fall, the question isn’t whether the money is stolen. Instead, it’s an interesting film which focuses on dynamics between the child, his teacher and their classmates, constantly swinging for and against each in a tense manner.

With a well shot movie and an incredible lead performance from Leonie Benesch. A horror movie for teachers, which is almost as scary as The Hunt. For the rest of the world, a really interesting film.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Any of my top four movies could’ve made movie of the month, with each a really unique film. Evil Does Not Exist is the latest new film from Drive My Car’s Ryusuke Hamaguchi. Much like that movie, EDNE is a glacial affair, starting with a 5 minute shot of the sky which will help send even the strongest insomniac off. However, once it gets going it is very interesting. Two company representatives go to a small rural town to propose a glamping site. They don’t seem to care at first, as they’re just paid actors. However, for this community, nature is incredibly important and they discuss the impact of the site on their famously clean water and the local deer.

This eco-fable remains interesting because nobody is quite what they seem at first. The aloof actors seem to care at heart, while the open locals are far more protective of their environment. Remaining grounded until a far more abstract, obscure conclusion, this film shows the beauty of nature, and of humanity. You feel hope and anger on the locals’ behalf. It does take a while to get going, but give it a chance and suddenly it grabs you by the horns and doesn’t let go.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

The Book of Clarence brings in the right balance of humour, heart and blasphemy to be a winner. Clarence (Lakeith Stanfield) is struggling to pay his debts. A bit of a fool, he is constantly making bad decisions. After getting baptised in the hope of the local loan shark going easy on him fails, he sees how people love Jesus and give him money and comes up with an idea. However, this could backfire, especially with the local roman guards not being a fan of messiahs in general.

The second film from Jeymes Samuel, following on from The Harder They Fall, he brings his chaotic energy, which means things can feel messy. However, they’re infectiously funny, and with Stanfield playing such a ridiculous character, this film both seems to support and mock religion in equal balance. Call it fence sitting, but I think it allows things not to go into total parody, and instead is an ancient super-natural hustle movie, which remains really fun.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Probably the biggest surprise of the month for me was Dev Patel’s directorial debut film Monkey Man, a full blooded nose biting, thumb slicing revenge movie which barely has any action in its first hour. Patel also stars as a failing wrestler, who gets a new job in a fancy restaurant in his attempt to get close to powerful people. He slowly builds up a story and a world, including fantasy elements, cruelty, and corruption so you feel empathy for his character when we go into full blooded rampage.

The action genre isn’t one I hugely enjoy, however this film builds a world fantastically, even if the plot is light. The cinematography is incredible. The camera moves brilliantly, and Patel uses the scenery in fun and inventive ways, making these scenes of violence pieces of art. An unapologetic, full-blooded mess, this film is really is polished for an director who is more famous for starring quiet indie films, and I’m really excited to see what he does next.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Worst film of the month

Before we go and celebrate the best film of the month, let’s take a moment to discuss the car crash that was Back to Black. Amy Winehouse is the greatest singer of all time in my mind. Her life ending when it did was a tragedy, especially as she was the age I am now. Of course, a biopic was inevitable.

A gritty, controversial biopic which shows tragedy? No, a feel good movie with a happy ending. She literally dies guys. Did we forget that? Does the director know that? The film was simple. Such a tragedy should be multi-faceted. Instead, the film says “Oh, it was the paparazzi’s fault, and not the family”. It’s like Princess Diana all over again. The music didn’t have the impact either. Rocket Man spoiled us, by making the movie link to the songs as well. This film literally says “I don’t write to make money, I live my songs”, yet when they’re splashed around, it doesn’t feel relevant. One of my least favourite moments of film is when they went from Back To Black being played over the top of a montage by Winehouse, before the last three lines were randomly sang out of tune by the lead actress. Use the songs better, I beg of you.

Basically, it’s rubbish. It’s a mess. Don’t watch it.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Film of the month

I went into this movie totally blind, however I couldn’t help but fall in love with There’s Still Tomorrow. Set in post WWII Italy, this black and white film sees Delia (Paola Cortiselli) in a sad life with an abusive husband and three kids. Her daughter is to marry into a rich family, but is annoyed at how her mother folds. The world wants her to escape, but she seems unable to. Despite the dark subject, the film almost appears comedic, using fantastical sequences instead of any horrible scenes. The comedy is thinly veiled anger. The anger makes it all flow, there is humour and beauty in her world, where the humour is sensible. There is something to fight for.

As well as funny scenes, there is also plenty of tension as everything which can go wrong seems to go so. There is a dinner scene where the daughter’s boyfriend’s family is to come over with the intention of engagement, and you wonder what will happen. There is also a dash for freedom which keeps you on the edge. Despite the tension and horrors, there is a real human warmth which keeps this film hopeful and well balanced.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

So, not Pitch Perfect 2, we’re safe… for now

The Sixth Annual ASBO Awards

Ladies and Gentlemen (Now we have removed our original scheduled post which had a title picture of a badly photoshopped Paddington, Oppenheimer, Barbie and Ken over some badly photoshopped royals) welcome to the sixth Annual ASBO awards with your hosts Ken, Paddington and Oppenheimer

K: Thank you, thank you. It’s great to host this years ASBOs live from Joe’s Mojo Dojo Casa Blog. 2023 has been a great year for films, with a film all about me, and other films by great men.

P: Yes, Mr Ken. There were great films by women as well. Let’s not forget about them.

K: Wait, women can make films now?

O: Oh why am I here? Haven’t I suffered in my eternal monologue enough now? They said if I joined this ceremony, this could be the beginning of the end. I think they were right.

P: Oh Mr Oppenheimer don’t say that. Here, have a cup of tea and a marmalade sandwich.

O: Wow. Life… suddenly seems… lighter. I should tell Einstein.

K: In the meantime, let’s begin with the first awards.

P: Every year we see people at the Oscars joke that animated films are for children.

K: We know that’s not true, because it’s in the script. Sometimes, films with animation in can be weird. They can have bears being family with middle class Londoners

O: Londoners who have to deal with the looming threat of Nuclear war thanks to my bomb. What have I done?

Here are the nominees

Hi, it’s Joe. I promise I will get bored. In the meantime, here are the ASBO nominees for best animated feature. TMNT was inspired by Spider-verse movies and gave it a decent go, while Bling Willow was a really odd charming animated feature, not necessarily made for family. Junk Head is a stop motion two person project which can even be found on YouTube. Again weird, but worth a watch. The winner this year will be The First Slam Dunk, a classically Japanese anime film about a basketball team in their big final, flashing back through their lives. It had a real balance of heart and thrilling moments. Not easy to find, it’s definitely worth fishing out.

K: Next up we’ll go to the sound categories. Sounds can make anything believable, like my stable of manly horses in my Casa Mojo Dojo.

P: Mr Oppenheimer, when your bomb went off in the film, it did give Mrs Bird a jolly good scare.

O:….

And the nominees for best sound are

Some really good options here if I may say so myself (My originally planned nominee actually won the Oscar annoyingly). Monster used sounds as cues in intertwining stories brilliantly, while Creed and Hunger Games both used them in increasing action scenes thrillingly. Society of Snow was fantastic, especially in its early visceral crash scene. However, the winner has to be How to Blow Up a Pipeline which not only knows when to use sound, but when not to in order to create tension fantastically. This climate activist thriller knew what it was doing, and left me not feeling able to breathe at times. It’s really really good thanks to the use of sound.

P: As well as sounds we also have music.

K: Yes, like I’m just Ken.

P: We’re talking about the whole score instead of just a song Ken

K: I don’t think we are

O: Yes we are. Here are the nominees

Another category where my top pick actually won the Oscar, the winner this year would’ve been my second pick overall. The late Ryuchi Sakamoto is a brilliant film composer, and his gentle piano score in Monster is as good a soundtrack as you’ll find. A brilliant composition which ties everything together nicely, it deserves a good win.

K: The biggest snub for the Oscars was the song that I sang barbie at the beach

Other Ken: The biggest snub for the Oscars was the song that I sang barbie at the beach

Other Ken: The biggest snub for the Oscars was the song that I sang barbie at the beach

K: I can’t wait to see it here, and the nominees are…

Some absolute bangers here. No Diane Warren losing her 15th oscar. Each of these songs were paramount and helped find the heart in the films. However, my choice for best song goes to John Carney’s usually Irish singing movie of this year (Also see Sing Street and Once), Flora and Son, with the song Meet in the Middle – Flora and Son sang by Joseph Gordon Levitt and Bono’s daughter

O: Now onto the writing awards. Having read books about science, I also like reading words on movies. A good story with great pacing is wonderful, and can make three hours feel like one.

K: Unless you’re sat there waiting for my movie, in which case your three hour long movie feels like six hours.

P: Firstly, Original Screenplay. These stories are brand new ideas, all of which provide really interesting stories.

Each of these films show emotions brilliantly. While How To Have Sex was so powerfully written, the winner of the ASBO will be Rye Lane, a quick quippy movie which has yet twists so many rom-com tropes. Each line of this under 90 minute movie is entertaining and exciting. You fall in love with the characters and each entertaining moment doesn’t feel wasted. One of the best rom-coms ever.

and now for adapted screenplay. The nominees are:

I’d argue that this year’s adapted nominees are the stronger of the writing category. Wonka was creative, Society of Snow showed resilience beautifully, while Pipeline took a book and turned it into a taut thriller which felt meant for screen. Leave the World Behind was snappy in its dialogue, while Margaret was really intellegent and was a brilliant story for women every where. However, the quiet and devistating conversations in every scene in All of Us Strangers means that has to take the win.

K: Next up is the technical awards. These awards can help you believe you’re reading an award show about a man who died decades ago or an animated fictional bear, or that women can be doctors.

O: Women can be scientists. We even had them on the manhattan project

K: Oh Oppenheimer, those aren’t women. They’re just visual effects. Speaking of which, your nominees are

Ummm, nothing really stand out this year, as I don’t watch most of the crap and my imagined ASBO choice again won the Oscars. The ASBO goes to Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.

P: Next up is costumes.

K: Do you wear many clothes Paddington

P: Well, I’m a little bear.

O: and the nominees are

A really interesting and different lot here. The titular pretty red dress is so powerful, so are the costumes of Femme and Iron Claw. Smoking Causes Coughing has lots of fun, while Wonka throws us back to a magical character. Likewise, The Promised Land takes us back in time with its clothes commenting on class. The ASBO goes to Femme for telling the characters’ stories with the clothing.

P: Mr Ken, do you wear make up?

K: I can’t as my job is beach.

P: What about you, Mr Oppenheimer.

O: No, which is why we’re experts on our next award: Best Hair and Make Up. Here are your nominations:

Each of these films use Make Up in fun and different ways, making people turn into their characters. However, one film goes above and beyond in make up, and that’s Sick of Myself, a film about a woman who takes dangerous drugs to get attention, to horrific consequences.

P: Mr Oppenheimer, what is editing in a film?

O: Well, nobody really knows. But I think its about how scenes are stitched together and jump around.

P: Congratulations to the winner of best pictu..

Whoops, here are the nominees

Whether a brilliant show of tender conversations, visceral plane crashes or keeping us on edge throughout three consistent story lines, or creatively telling stories to a love interest, these films all edit fantastically. Despite it receiving a mixed reception, I personally thought the high tension showed brilliantly with a foreboding sense of danger means the ASBO winner is Leave the World Behind. The dystopian thriller was slow at times, but it built well leaving you to wonder who could be in danger. It also referenced Friends.

O: Production design is about bringing places to life, like Los Alamos

K: It’s pronounced Los Alamos Dojo Casa Scientific base, but close

Your nominees are

Each place here told a story, even the god awful Saltburn. I mean seriously, what a naff film. But the building was nice. Shout out to the Hunger Games for a far better grittier look and feel. However, best production design has to go to the pretentious Asteroid City.

K: Cinematography is about making films look nice

O: Yes, by doing more than splashing them with pink

K: Screw you, at least we had some colour.

P: Gentlemen, it seems you have forgotten your manners. Do I need to bring out the hard stare Aunt Lucy taught me?
O: No Paddington

K: No Paddington

P: Good, then without further ado, here are the nominees for best cinematography.

One movie this year made every frame look beautiful. The use of light and reflection was absolutely wonderful. Despite these all being elite, nothing could hold a candle to the frankly incredible All of Us Strangers.

O:
Je suis devenu la mort, destructrice des mondes.
Je suis devenu la mort, destructrice des mondes
Je suis devenu la mort, destructrice des mondes

P: What was that Mr Oppenheimer?

O: Oh, nothing. Here are the nominees for best international film:

Again, all of these films are great. However, my favourite of this list was the sci-fi time travelling gothic French film The Five Devils which was a masterful story telling about family and love in a unique and interesting way. Go and watch it.

K: and now we’re onto the big awards. The acting awards, where Margot Robbie was shafted, for some darn other women.

P: So was Aunt Lucy. She seemed so sad, that she’s not being the same recently, as you’ll see in Paddington 3.

O: Let’s see if either of them were nominated. First up, best actress in a supporting role:

Okay, so let’s do a top 3. In third place, Rachel McAdams in Margaret. Regina George took on mother who had lost her way in human form in a dignified manor. She really was a lot of fun and sold a quiet role with lots of dignity. In second is Julianne Moore who’s predatory character in May December showed an uneasy child likeness which kept you on the edge of your seat as we, with Natalie Portman, tried to learn about her with disgust and intrigue. However, the winner of the ASBO has to be Claire Foy – All of Us Strangers. She was phenomenal in this movie. Her scenes in the diner, with Andrew Scott’s coming out and Always on My Mind were just fantastic pieces of emotional cinema. While most plaudits have gone to Scott and Mescal, I think she really stole the show. You fully believe she is his mother, despite them being the same age. This is what acting is.

This is probably the toughest award, with no clear winner. In third place is Charles Melton in May, December who shows more of the childlike vulnerability I mentioned for Julianne Moore with a quieter side. In second place is John Magaro in Past Lives who could’ve so easily been an easy to hate character, but he was really human in his relationship with the lead character. However, the ASBO goes to Dominic Sessa – The Holdovers, a first time actor who stands up to a powerhouse Paul Giamatti performance with wit and deep emotion in good balance. The film finds the fine line between humour and those deeper moments, and that’s in part thanks to him doing both ever so well.

What a brilliant year for acting talent in both the male and female lead roles. In third place I’ll go with Zac Efron for Iron Claw who put in a career best as part of a family ultimately cursed by their abusive father. In second is Natey Jones who carried Pretty Red Dress with a tender vulnerability. He would’ve won most years if it wasn’t for the equally as vulnerable, devistatingly quiet performance of Andrew Scott – All of Us Strangers. I praised Claire Foy earlier but Scott’s quiet vulnerability and almost childlike state which you see in his eyes is just brilliant. He was someone you needed to win and were heart broken for him when he didn’t. A lonely character, this film felt lived thanks to him.

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Do we have to choose a best winner. Yes we do. The Color Purple movie was average, but Fantasia Barrino and case were all brilliant. She’s in third. In second place I’d put Greta Lee for Past Lives. Her scenes with Magaro and Yoo are just incredible, particularly the bar one. The ASBO goes to the BAFTA rising star winner Mia McKenna-Bruce – How to Have Sex. who was just fantastic in showing teenage angst and vulnerability on an interior against a brash performative exterior. For such a young performer to give such a mature performance, you know she’s destined for great things. Hopefully she doesn’t throw it all away to be in a tacky marvel movie.

I couldn’t find a good clip of her acting. Turns out just searching How To Have Sex into YouTube doesn’t get the results I hoped for.

K: And now for the big award

P: the award we would have won if the ASBOs started earlier

O: and the award we may have won if we didn’t win the Oscars.

K: Gentlemen, it’s been a pleasure. Let me know if you’re in Barbie Land.

P: Oh that’s very kind. I might bring Aunt Lucy. I think she’ll love it there.

O: Yes, thank you Ken. If you ever end up in 1940s New Mexico make sure to give me a ring as well.

KPO: Right, time for your nominees for best picture:

Here we go, the big award. The one you skipped everything else above to scroll down to.

In third place is The Five Devils. It’s an interesting lesbian back to the future gothic romantic french fairytale. This blog wouldn’t be pretentious enough if it didn’t make top three. In second place is one of the greatest rom-coms of all time, it’s Rye Lane.

As you’ve probably guessed scrolling through the awards, the ASBO for Best Picture goes to All of Us Strangers. It’s the best film I’ve seen for a few years, showing grief and loneliness in an intimate way. The writing is incredible, cinematography brilliant and acting is top class. Cinema is meant to make you feel and I don’t think there is another film which will make you feel as much as this one does.

Congratulations All of Us Strangers. You join an elite crew.

See you next year

P: …re All of Us Strangers

Oscars 2024

Has it been a year since I’ve done this? Yes, my favourite thing to write on my phone on the train as I end up inexplicably busy this time of year is back. This year the films were mixed, but all interesting. Unlike last year’s set of remakes which provided a dull set of bloated best picture nominees, all ten of these were at least something different. Naturally they missed the best film of the year, but that’s what the ASBOs are for and I will eventually get round to them in the next couple of weeks, but here is who should win tonight. If you don’t agree, tough. Art is fundamentally objective and as a man I know I’m right.

Best Supporting Actor

This is probably the weakest category of the big ones. Robert De Niro was indeed in Killers of the Flower Moon, but barely worth knowing. Meanwhile, Sterling K. Brown was fine in American Fiction, but again probably lucky to get an Oscar nomination. Mark Ruffalo was interesting in Poor Things, however chosing a single role which makes him not as dull as dishwater seems a bit much. Therefore, it’s between Robert Downey Jr in Oppenheimer or Ryan Gosling in Barbie. While RDJ did well, I’d personally pick Ryan Gosling as Ken in Barbie, who’s comedic turns were some the most memorable moments of the movie.

Supporting Actress

There were definitely some very good picks here, however one of the most suprising was America Ferrara who had one monologue. I’d hardly call hers one of the great performances. Emily Blunt was fine in Oppenheimer, while Jodie Foster was probably the best part of Nyad (an absolutely okay feel good by the numbers family film). Danielle Brooks was fantastic in The Color Purple as Sofia. She got her emotional cues perfectly and had some great big numbers. However, Da’Vine Joy Randolph‘s performance as the grieving Mary in the holdovers was understated and brilliant. She really brought the film together and gave it a sense of levity.

Best Actress

The line up for Best Actress is stacked this year, and is probably the best one since Ladybird, Billboards, Shape of Water and I Tonya came out in the same year. Annette Bening was decent in Nyad, while Sandra Huller was very good in Anatomy of a Fall, carrying that film brilliantly (As well as Zone of Interest for which she wasn’t nominated). Carey Mulligan as Felicia Montague, Emma Stone in Poor Things and Lily Gladstone were all fantastic, with the latter being the only good thing in Killers of the Flower Moon. This is a really tight one, and I might change it before clicking publish, but I’ll go for Lily Gladstone in KotFM who did significantly better than pouty Leo Di Caprio.

Best Actor

The ladies won this year, but there were some good male performances. Bradley Cooper as Bernstein in Maestro was fine (His writing certainly let him down), as was Jeffrey Wright as a writer in American fiction. Colman Domingo was good as gay black activist Bayard Rustin, in a solid biopic movie. The best performances were Cillian Murphy as Oppenheimer and Paul Giamatti as a disenfranchised teacher in The Holdovers. Murphy’s contrast between steely focus and regret are fantastic, as he really acts with his face and posture. While Giamatti is great at showing a bitter anger, I doubt he has any for me saying that Cillian Murphy – Oppenheimer was the best male performance this year.

Best Picture

While this year’s nominees didn’t suck, there were lots of middling films.

10) Maestro: While there weren’t any true stinkers of the ilk of Don’t Look Up, Maestro was definitely the weakest of this year’s nominees. A biopic about Leonard Bernstein directed by and starring Bradley Cooper, the whole thing is just a bit flat. It really fails to find and deliver themes in a way that last year’s conductor movie Tar was able to. Carey Mulligan brings a powerhouse performance, and Doris from work is in the Ely Castle scene which was the best bit, but otherwise it was a tad so-and-so in it’s begging to be loved

9) Killers of the Flower Moon: The Martin Scorcese.epic about really interesting native Americans having their land stolen which focuses on the most boring white guy, KotFM very much struggled to justify its very long run time. There were highlights. It was well shot, however the main reason to watch was a star turn from Lily Gladstone.

8) American Fiction I really wanted to like this movie. A debut film with a good cast, American Fiction wanted to say something brilliant. However, after it ran out of steam with its one joke, it didn’t really know how to say it. A fairly easy Saturday night film, it’s by no means a bad movie. However, it’s never going to be remembered as one of the very best.

7) Barbie Maybe it was my own fault for going in with really high expectations. Barbie was a guns blazing feminist film which lacked that polish. The whole thing felt like it lost its way half way through. However, it’s success was not undeserved. Margot Robbie was great, likewise Ryan Gosling and every costume and set design was on point. It just needed to be a little bit tighter.

6) The Zone of Interest This film seemed to be one to appreciate more than like. Based on a family who live a banal existence next to Auschwitz, technically it’s a really good film with great production and sound design. However, the lack of hook towards a character made it one for those more pretentious than me. I appreciate the message and the parallels with what’s happening today, it was just very implicit.

5) Anatomy of a Fall Now we’re getting to the films we enjoyed. Anatomy of a Fall was very much a good standard court drama, expect that it’s not about who done it. A film about communication and ambiguity, the question is whether Sandra Huller’s character pushed her husband or whether he fell from the top storey of their house. A solid script and some good performances make this a decent watch.

4) Past Lives While this year’s indie darling wasn’t top of my year end list, unlike seemingly all the big critics, I was warm towards Past Lives. Wonderfully shot, and criminally overlooked for the acting Oscars (Both Greta Lee and Teo Yoo should’ve been in there) this gentle movie about love over time and distance was a real pleasure. There is a scene in a bar about 20 minutes before the end which is one of my favourite ones, and until the emotion came pouring out from the characters (which felt inconsistent with the rest of the movie), I was engaged and rooting for these two.

3) The Holdovers Now at the point where I’d be happy if any of these movies won best picture. The Holdovers took us back to a simpler time, where movies were just about the characters. Much like some of my festive favourites in It’s a Wonderful Life and The Apartment, The Holdovers is just people being sad at Christmas. When a teacher, a cook and a student are left at a boarding school, all somewhat empty bitter and alone, the film sees them find comfort and family as they get to know one another much better. It’s a sweet melancholy movie of days gone by and will definitely be on future festive watch lists.

2) Oppenheimer The film that will win best picture tonight, it will certainly be deserved. Much like the best pictures of the 80s/90s, a three hour historic biopic about a scientist caused a shock with the amount of interest and sales it garnered. No doubt helped by Barbie, it also stood strong on its own with a well balanced focus on the science and the characters. Technically it was fantastic, it was well written and the acting was brilliant. Much like The Holdovers, these are the films which felt like they were relics of the past, so it’s great to see one this good do so well.

1) Poor Things A best picture always seems to reflect a time as well as a brilliant film. Parasite reflected increasing social inequality, The Best Days of Our Lives as post WWII struggles and Nomadland a feeling of post COVID loss. Poor Things reflects a fight for gender equality and the struggles there, much like Barbie does, but in a much less compromising and gentle way. Bella has the brain of a child but the adult of a body. She goes out and learns about the world. The world is full of horrible scummy men who look to take advantage, so basically Barbie. The script, set design and acting from Emma Stone are all brilliant in this career best from Yorgos Lanthimos, a director I’m usually lukewarm on. Out of the ten movies for best picture, this one is surely the best.

The Best of the Rest

Best Director – A prime example of the Oscars picking some wrong names (Celine Song anyone), however the deserved winner is in there. While Glazer made some art, and Triet and Lanthimos did their things, the career best biographical epic for Christopher Nolan – Oppenheimer deserves this one.

Best Original Screenplay – Probably the strongest of all categories, all of these films are so well written. Maestro is a bit crap, but oh well… Anatomy of a Fall and May, December were both very slick and that scene in Past Lives at the bar is just magic. However, the perfectly balanced dialogue and mood of The Holdovers means it deserves a win.

Best Adapted Screenplay – Definitely the weaker side of the screenplay draw, with Barbie and American Fiction both feeling like films that knew what they wanted to say, but not how. Zone of Interest provided an interesting look into a story but without the hook from the dialogue and an off-beat second half. Oppenheimer was great, with some fantastic lines. However, the madness of Poor Things and the naturally evolving dialogue of Bella deserve this one.

Best Animated Film – I’ve not seen Elemental (Don’t really want to) or Robot Dreams (Do want to). Out of the rest, we have three really strong films each of which are worth a watch. However, Spider-verse’s dull half-baked story and Nimona’s simplicity can’t compare to the art and imagination of The Boy and The Heron.

Best International Film – So I’ve only seen three of these movies. I was lukewarm on Zone of Interest. I enjoyed the slow slice of life of a content toilet cleaner is Japan’s Perfect Days. However, best film of the three was Spain’s Society of Snow which is on Netflix.

Best Original Score – Can’t remember much of American Fiction’s score being brilliant, nor Killers of the Flower Moon. I didn’t watch Indiana Jones 5 so can’t comment. Again, it’s between Poor Things and Oppenheimer. Poor Things was mad, but Oppenheimer‘s score was just incredible.

Best Original Song – I’m Just Ken, from Barbie (but not the version of Matt Hancock Lip Synching)

Best Sound – This is a really good category. Sure, The Creator was good and I never watched Mission Impossible, but Maestro was fantastic, especially in the scene in Ely Cathedral. Oppenheimer was ridiculous, especially the bomb test scene. That sent a shockwave through me. However, The Zone of Interest has simply incredible sound work. A film about a family who live next to Auschwitz, you see domestic bliss next to this background screaming to paint a really horrific picture.

Best Production Design – Again, a really strong catergory. I didn’t see Napoleon. Flower moon was good, as was Oppenheimer. However, it’s going to be between Barbie and Poor Things, both of which were weirdly vibrant. As much as I’d love to give Poor Things a bit more love, I think this has to go to the set which caused a world pink paint shortage, Barbie

Best Cinematography – Barbie used its light and camera in interesting ways. I STILL haven’t seen Napoleon and Flower Moon was fine. El Conde exists. I’ve watched it. Thatcher’s a vampire or something. Poor Things and Oppenheimer are again very close here, but I’ll go with Oppenheimer being the better at it.

Best Makeup and Hairstyling – I never watched Golda, but everyone is going to be talking about Bardley Cooper’s nose which makes this a non-contest. Oppenheimer was good, while Poor Things had some very interesting looking characters. However, the slow madness of Society of Snow was really well done, as we see people more and more desperate to survive so I’ll go off-piste and award that movie.

Best Costume Design – Poor Things was really cool, and I’ve seen the dresses in person which is nice. However, this one has to go to Barbie.

Best Editing – This is the one about how they cut up the film. Oppenheimer is great with its pacing, as are Holdovers and Poor Things. Flower Moon is also there. However, the best edited movie has to go to Anatomy of a Fall which shows actions and reactions equally well.

Best Visual Effects – I’ve only seen two of these. The Creator was vibrant, but Godzilla minus one showed the horror of people fantastically, and I’d rather reward that film, because it was also actually a solid film which did fantastically well on a low budget.

The Count:

4 – Barbie, Oppenheimer

3 –

2 – The Holdovers, Poor Things, Society of Snow

1 – Anatomy of a Fall, The Boy and the Heron, Godzilla Minus One, Killers of the Flower Moon, The Zone of Interest