Ladies and Gentlemen (Now we have removed our original scheduled post which had a title picture of a badly photoshopped Paddington, Oppenheimer, Barbie and Ken over some badly photoshopped royals) welcome to the sixth Annual ASBO awards with your hosts Ken, Paddington and Oppenheimer

K: Thank you, thank you. It’s great to host this years ASBOs live from Joe’s Mojo Dojo Casa Blog. 2023 has been a great year for films, with a film all about me, and other films by great men.

P: Yes, Mr Ken. There were great films by women as well. Let’s not forget about them.

K: Wait, women can make films now?

O: Oh why am I here? Haven’t I suffered in my eternal monologue enough now? They said if I joined this ceremony, this could be the beginning of the end. I think they were right.

P: Oh Mr Oppenheimer don’t say that. Here, have a cup of tea and a marmalade sandwich.

O: Wow. Life… suddenly seems… lighter. I should tell Einstein.

K: In the meantime, let’s begin with the first awards.

P: Every year we see people at the Oscars joke that animated films are for children.

K: We know that’s not true, because it’s in the script. Sometimes, films with animation in can be weird. They can have bears being family with middle class Londoners

O: Londoners who have to deal with the looming threat of Nuclear war thanks to my bomb. What have I done?

Here are the nominees

Hi, it’s Joe. I promise I will get bored. In the meantime, here are the ASBO nominees for best animated feature. TMNT was inspired by Spider-verse movies and gave it a decent go, while Bling Willow was a really odd charming animated feature, not necessarily made for family. Junk Head is a stop motion two person project which can even be found on YouTube. Again weird, but worth a watch. The winner this year will be The First Slam Dunk, a classically Japanese anime film about a basketball team in their big final, flashing back through their lives. It had a real balance of heart and thrilling moments. Not easy to find, it’s definitely worth fishing out.

K: Next up we’ll go to the sound categories. Sounds can make anything believable, like my stable of manly horses in my Casa Mojo Dojo.

P: Mr Oppenheimer, when your bomb went off in the film, it did give Mrs Bird a jolly good scare.

O:….

And the nominees for best sound are

Some really good options here if I may say so myself (My originally planned nominee actually won the Oscar annoyingly). Monster used sounds as cues in intertwining stories brilliantly, while Creed and Hunger Games both used them in increasing action scenes thrillingly. Society of Snow was fantastic, especially in its early visceral crash scene. However, the winner has to be How to Blow Up a Pipeline which not only knows when to use sound, but when not to in order to create tension fantastically. This climate activist thriller knew what it was doing, and left me not feeling able to breathe at times. It’s really really good thanks to the use of sound.

P: As well as sounds we also have music.

K: Yes, like I’m just Ken.

P: We’re talking about the whole score instead of just a song Ken

K: I don’t think we are

O: Yes we are. Here are the nominees

Another category where my top pick actually won the Oscar, the winner this year would’ve been my second pick overall. The late Ryuchi Sakamoto is a brilliant film composer, and his gentle piano score in Monster is as good a soundtrack as you’ll find. A brilliant composition which ties everything together nicely, it deserves a good win.

K: The biggest snub for the Oscars was the song that I sang barbie at the beach

Other Ken: The biggest snub for the Oscars was the song that I sang barbie at the beach

Other Ken: The biggest snub for the Oscars was the song that I sang barbie at the beach

K: I can’t wait to see it here, and the nominees are…

Some absolute bangers here. No Diane Warren losing her 15th oscar. Each of these songs were paramount and helped find the heart in the films. However, my choice for best song goes to John Carney’s usually Irish singing movie of this year (Also see Sing Street and Once), Flora and Son, with the song Meet in the Middle – Flora and Son sang by Joseph Gordon Levitt and Bono’s daughter

O: Now onto the writing awards. Having read books about science, I also like reading words on movies. A good story with great pacing is wonderful, and can make three hours feel like one.

K: Unless you’re sat there waiting for my movie, in which case your three hour long movie feels like six hours.

P: Firstly, Original Screenplay. These stories are brand new ideas, all of which provide really interesting stories.

Each of these films show emotions brilliantly. While How To Have Sex was so powerfully written, the winner of the ASBO will be Rye Lane, a quick quippy movie which has yet twists so many rom-com tropes. Each line of this under 90 minute movie is entertaining and exciting. You fall in love with the characters and each entertaining moment doesn’t feel wasted. One of the best rom-coms ever.

and now for adapted screenplay. The nominees are:

I’d argue that this year’s adapted nominees are the stronger of the writing category. Wonka was creative, Society of Snow showed resilience beautifully, while Pipeline took a book and turned it into a taut thriller which felt meant for screen. Leave the World Behind was snappy in its dialogue, while Margaret was really intellegent and was a brilliant story for women every where. However, the quiet and devistating conversations in every scene in All of Us Strangers means that has to take the win.

K: Next up is the technical awards. These awards can help you believe you’re reading an award show about a man who died decades ago or an animated fictional bear, or that women can be doctors.

O: Women can be scientists. We even had them on the manhattan project

K: Oh Oppenheimer, those aren’t women. They’re just visual effects. Speaking of which, your nominees are

Ummm, nothing really stand out this year, as I don’t watch most of the crap and my imagined ASBO choice again won the Oscars. The ASBO goes to Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.

P: Next up is costumes.

K: Do you wear many clothes Paddington

P: Well, I’m a little bear.

O: and the nominees are

A really interesting and different lot here. The titular pretty red dress is so powerful, so are the costumes of Femme and Iron Claw. Smoking Causes Coughing has lots of fun, while Wonka throws us back to a magical character. Likewise, The Promised Land takes us back in time with its clothes commenting on class. The ASBO goes to Femme for telling the characters’ stories with the clothing.

P: Mr Ken, do you wear make up?

K: I can’t as my job is beach.

P: What about you, Mr Oppenheimer.

O: No, which is why we’re experts on our next award: Best Hair and Make Up. Here are your nominations:

Each of these films use Make Up in fun and different ways, making people turn into their characters. However, one film goes above and beyond in make up, and that’s Sick of Myself, a film about a woman who takes dangerous drugs to get attention, to horrific consequences.

P: Mr Oppenheimer, what is editing in a film?

O: Well, nobody really knows. But I think its about how scenes are stitched together and jump around.

P: Congratulations to the winner of best pictu..

Whoops, here are the nominees

Whether a brilliant show of tender conversations, visceral plane crashes or keeping us on edge throughout three consistent story lines, or creatively telling stories to a love interest, these films all edit fantastically. Despite it receiving a mixed reception, I personally thought the high tension showed brilliantly with a foreboding sense of danger means the ASBO winner is Leave the World Behind. The dystopian thriller was slow at times, but it built well leaving you to wonder who could be in danger. It also referenced Friends.

O: Production design is about bringing places to life, like Los Alamos

K: It’s pronounced Los Alamos Dojo Casa Scientific base, but close

Your nominees are

Each place here told a story, even the god awful Saltburn. I mean seriously, what a naff film. But the building was nice. Shout out to the Hunger Games for a far better grittier look and feel. However, best production design has to go to the pretentious Asteroid City.

K: Cinematography is about making films look nice

O: Yes, by doing more than splashing them with pink

K: Screw you, at least we had some colour.

P: Gentlemen, it seems you have forgotten your manners. Do I need to bring out the hard stare Aunt Lucy taught me?
O: No Paddington

K: No Paddington

P: Good, then without further ado, here are the nominees for best cinematography.

One movie this year made every frame look beautiful. The use of light and reflection was absolutely wonderful. Despite these all being elite, nothing could hold a candle to the frankly incredible All of Us Strangers.

O:
Je suis devenu la mort, destructrice des mondes.
Je suis devenu la mort, destructrice des mondes
Je suis devenu la mort, destructrice des mondes

P: What was that Mr Oppenheimer?

O: Oh, nothing. Here are the nominees for best international film:

Again, all of these films are great. However, my favourite of this list was the sci-fi time travelling gothic French film The Five Devils which was a masterful story telling about family and love in a unique and interesting way. Go and watch it.

K: and now we’re onto the big awards. The acting awards, where Margot Robbie was shafted, for some darn other women.

P: So was Aunt Lucy. She seemed so sad, that she’s not being the same recently, as you’ll see in Paddington 3.

O: Let’s see if either of them were nominated. First up, best actress in a supporting role:

Okay, so let’s do a top 3. In third place, Rachel McAdams in Margaret. Regina George took on mother who had lost her way in human form in a dignified manor. She really was a lot of fun and sold a quiet role with lots of dignity. In second is Julianne Moore who’s predatory character in May December showed an uneasy child likeness which kept you on the edge of your seat as we, with Natalie Portman, tried to learn about her with disgust and intrigue. However, the winner of the ASBO has to be Claire Foy – All of Us Strangers. She was phenomenal in this movie. Her scenes in the diner, with Andrew Scott’s coming out and Always on My Mind were just fantastic pieces of emotional cinema. While most plaudits have gone to Scott and Mescal, I think she really stole the show. You fully believe she is his mother, despite them being the same age. This is what acting is.

This is probably the toughest award, with no clear winner. In third place is Charles Melton in May, December who shows more of the childlike vulnerability I mentioned for Julianne Moore with a quieter side. In second place is John Magaro in Past Lives who could’ve so easily been an easy to hate character, but he was really human in his relationship with the lead character. However, the ASBO goes to Dominic Sessa – The Holdovers, a first time actor who stands up to a powerhouse Paul Giamatti performance with wit and deep emotion in good balance. The film finds the fine line between humour and those deeper moments, and that’s in part thanks to him doing both ever so well.

What a brilliant year for acting talent in both the male and female lead roles. In third place I’ll go with Zac Efron for Iron Claw who put in a career best as part of a family ultimately cursed by their abusive father. In second is Natey Jones who carried Pretty Red Dress with a tender vulnerability. He would’ve won most years if it wasn’t for the equally as vulnerable, devistatingly quiet performance of Andrew Scott – All of Us Strangers. I praised Claire Foy earlier but Scott’s quiet vulnerability and almost childlike state which you see in his eyes is just brilliant. He was someone you needed to win and were heart broken for him when he didn’t. A lonely character, this film felt lived thanks to him.

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Do we have to choose a best winner. Yes we do. The Color Purple movie was average, but Fantasia Barrino and case were all brilliant. She’s in third. In second place I’d put Greta Lee for Past Lives. Her scenes with Magaro and Yoo are just incredible, particularly the bar one. The ASBO goes to the BAFTA rising star winner Mia McKenna-Bruce – How to Have Sex. who was just fantastic in showing teenage angst and vulnerability on an interior against a brash performative exterior. For such a young performer to give such a mature performance, you know she’s destined for great things. Hopefully she doesn’t throw it all away to be in a tacky marvel movie.

K: And now for the big award

P: the award we would have won if the ASBOs started earlier

O: and the award we may have won if we didn’t win the Oscars.

K: Gentlemen, it’s been a pleasure. Let me know if you’re in Barbie Land.

P: Oh that’s very kind. I might bring Aunt Lucy. I think she’ll love it there.

O: Yes, thank you Ken. If you ever end up in 1940s New Mexico make sure to give me a ring as well.

KPO: Right, time for your nominees for best picture:

Here we go, the big award. The one you skipped everything else above to scroll down to.

In third place is The Five Devils. It’s an interesting lesbian back to the future gothic romantic french fairytale. This blog wouldn’t be pretentious enough if it didn’t make top three. In second place is one of the greatest rom-coms of all time, it’s Rye Lane.

As you’ve probably guessed scrolling through the awards, the ASBO for Best Picture goes to All of Us Strangers. It’s the best film I’ve seen for a few years, showing grief and loneliness in an intimate way. The writing is incredible, cinematography brilliant and acting is top class. Cinema is meant to make you feel and I don’t think there is another film which will make you feel as much as this one does.

Congratulations All of Us Strangers. You join an elite crew.

See you next year

P: …re All of Us Strangers