Category: Review

Folks, I have some bad news. This blog could be closed down. I was upset about Jared Leto abeing referred to as an actor. Therefore, I did the one reasonable thing which would show my displeasure. I threw a brick at the window of my local CEX and stole thirty seven copies of the movie Shakespeare in Love. Of course, this showed my strong emotion towards Leto stealing actual Italian actor jobs. I can tell this loves labour of an introduction has been lost on you, so I’ll quickly disclaim that I didn’t smash in the window of the CEX. However, if you know any fans of Joseph Fiennes and Gwenyth Paltrow, then please let me know as I may have a gift for them.

I usually like to go through movies in reverse star order but save my worst until the penultimate to do a show of dragging it through the mud. However, that feels unfair to Radical which while my least favourite, was more a consequence of me not watching any bad movies in August. Lucky me. Radical is a fluffy liberal feel good movie about a teacher going into the slums of Mexico and teaching children at a low attaining school through your classic Dead Poets Society/Mr Bernstein controversial teaching methods, despite the lack of support from those around him.

This film, which is based on a true story, has plenty to like. Eugenio Derbez (most famously in CODA) brings a contagious charistmatic energy. Meanwhile, each of the main three or four children have enough of a personality that they feel real. There are some moments of feeling, however the film at times does feel a bit paint by numbers and soft in an attempt to reach as wide an audience as possible. By no means a bad film, but more of a family film night than a watch to consider tough questions.

Hollywoodgate is an interesting premise of a documentary. Following the withdrawal of US troops from Afghanistan, a documentary film maker is given access to the Taliban for a year, focussing on a couple of generals. It is an interesting look into an area you don’t see much of, especially seeing the weapons the US left behind, now in Taliban hands. However, the biggest limit of this film is that you don’t really get to know the characters or see the wider impact on Afghan society in general.

Only the River Flows is one of China’s highest grossing independent films, mainly thanks to it’s lead star Zhu Liyong. When a detective is left to solve a murder, he looks to do so efficiently. However, after doing so fairly quickly, he begins to have doubts about whether he’s got the right man.

There is plenty to like here. The lead performance, showing the troubled cop, is well done and the 16mm cinematography showing a dark gritty look is amongst the year’s best. There is also a dream sequence about two thirds in which is such a fantastic scene. Those first two thirds are really intriguing, and the film noir genre is kept fresh as we start to worry about whether the detective is losing their mind and what is real. However, from there the film goes a bit down hill as it loses its bite. It’s difficult not to compare this to Bong Joon Ho’s memories of murder. Thematically similar, this film struggles without the lashing criticism of power that it so clearly wants to hint at. Even the bolted on epilogue seems to pay homage with its final shot matching that of the Korean masterpiece. It really is frustrating as there is such a good idea.

It’s always refreshing to see a good quality animation, especially when based on some good fiction. Kensuke’s Kingdom is based on the Michael Morpurgo book of the same name. Done in a way which feels like a childrens book illustation, we see Michael get lost on his family boat and wake up with Stella on a seemingly abandoned island. However, soon he finds out he’s not alone, but on an island with another human, the old and lonely Kensuke who’s job is to protect the animals.

With a suprisingly high quality acting cast including Ken Wanatabe, this film is full of a lot of soul. It’s short running, but it has a good pace, keeping that Michael Morpurgo magic. There are moments of genuine heart as the child learns to protect nature and we learn more about Kensuke’s past, which while the younger audience won’t appreciate the gravity of, the older ones certainly will. If it’s available on streaming, I would recommend it as a really solid family drama.

The best documentary you’re going to watch (Watch it, damn it) dropped on Netflix last month. Daughters almost feels like a companion piece to Sing Sing, the Colman Domingo film I watched on the night of typing this (except this film is much better). A group of fathers of young girls are going to have a daddy, daughter dance in ten weeks time in a US prison. For a number of them, the privatised system has restricted the time and relationships they have with their children.

The movie starts with listening to prisoners talk about their relationships with their children and their regrets. In between, we also meet the children, seeing their views on their fathers. These are mature and diverse from love to anger. Even the younger children are aware of whats going on in a slightly naïve way. We then go to the dance which will make you cry, before we see some of the people in the coming months. It’s a really mature, understated and heartfelt documentary, so of course Netflix have hidden it behind annoying Olivia Colman movie. Watch this instead.

“I’m going to blow you like the Brighton Hotel”

That’s not a line you want to see in a movie you’re watching with your folks. However, that juvenile attitude we see in Kneecap is very much the charm. Somewhat, a surprise hit and one that many I’ve talked to have seen or were going to see, it’s set in the late 2010’s and shows the (rather liberally told) story of the coming together of the Irish language rap group Kneecap in a time the British Government weren’t willing to protect it. Liam and Naoise are strongly anti-brit, a sentiment instilled by their father. One of them likes writing rap lyrics. When an interepreter/music teacher, JJ, helps him out with the police and sees his lines, they form the group Kneecap, much to the authorities’ displeasure.

The story sounds ridiculous, and at times looks it. Dad didn’t realise it was a true story until the end, which makes the pay offs even more novel. Not one for the faint hearted with all the drugs, sex and bombs, there is lots to enjoy. The dialogue was phenomenal. It was laugh a minute and may have been the funniest film of the year, even at the weirdest times. The acting was also suprisingly good. The three leads all played themselves. DJ Provai in particular brought out a stellar rperformance, so move aside Lady Gaga. The music was entertaining and the pace was lightning quick to create a fun, genuinely interesting story. If you want a slightly wacky grown up film, this is the one to choose.

Film of the Month

What a month for films. I can already say that September won’t live up to it. Such a variety of great films, that I hope you’ve found one you want to dig out. There is one more for your consideration, and that is Didi.

Chris is an American born child to Chinese immigrants. As a young teenager in 2008, he is known as Chris, Didi or Wang Wang to different people showing his identity. This classic coming of age shows him trying to find his identity, moving between friends and dealing with such an awkward stage of teenage life that you both feel nostalgia for and are equally thankful you’ll never have to go through again.

Very much feeling a complimentary piece to Eighth Grade, this shows the millenial angst of growing up with such integrity. It really captures the awkwardness of interactions, and whenever Chris makes a mistake, you feel for him as the story shows you why he’s doing it. Both Izaac Wang and Shirley Chen in the mother role bring great performances. It’s a wonderful and empathetic film, which if it can find an audience is one of the best crowd pleasers of the year.

Since I last wrote, the author of 10DSFansofJaredLeto have moved. A big day following 12 years of Jared Leto loving film blogs having power. But when one blog leaves, a new rival emerges. This time, 10DowningStreetFansofOliviaColman. A popular option amongst the public, but not one here. the scenery chewing and desire to take every scene she’s in means we have doubt about this new blog. But, let’s see. At least ClactonFansOfWhiteManFilmsLikeTaxiDriverandFightClubandWolfOfWallStreetOMGThatShouldBeMyLife isn’t the opposing film blog to contend with. (That was a one time joke, I’m never typing that out again).

Anyway, loyalists will note this blog is late. I’ve been busy. I know this is the only thing to keep you alive, ready for the lull until next month, but please you addicts stop. Therefore, this blog will be a bit shorter, focussing on a smaller sample of films from the month. Therefore, I won’t tell you how average Long Legs was (A silence of the lambs wannabe) or how I Saw the TV Glow was wonderfully stylish but the substance felt empty. I definitely also won’t tell you how the 2 hours and 20 minutes of Fly Me to the Moon was probably the most generic film I’ve ever seen, which is an accomplishment in itself. Instead, let’s turn on Eurythmics and talk about

Kinds of Kindness is the new film from Yorgos Lanthimos, who also did Poor Things, one of my favourite films of the year so far. This film is a set of three stories (There is a word for it which I’m not googling). In the first, Jessie Plemons’ character will do anything for his boss Willem Dafoe, who pays him and sets up a comfortable life for him. Things begin to go awry when he is asked to kill a man. In the second story, Plemons is convinced his wife, played by Emma Stone isn’t who she says she is. In the third, they run a cult looking for someone who can resurrect the dead. There is a small cast used in all three stories. However, the stories aren’t related.

This is Yorgos back to his weirdest, and his most emotionally detatched. Fans of his style will be enamoured by this movie, however those who aren’t devotees will find it to be a bit of a slog. The second story about the fake wife is the weakest, with the first and third being moderately entertaining. However, it is a struggle to sit through almost three hours of essentially nonsense. Despite that, there are some funny moments and the film is well acted and creative. An interesting experiment, but very much only for fans of Lanthimos’ style

A good film Grandmother is something precious on screen. It gives you a feleing of warmth and trust. You see your relationship with them mirrored in those on screen. Think Minari, The Farewell, and the new film Thelma.

Despite the tacky looking trailer, Thelma really is full of heart. When the titular character, played by June Squibb in her first leading role at the tender age of 93, is scammed out of £10,000 from someone pretending to be her grandson, her family want to think about her future and whether it’s time to put her into a home. Much against this, she pairs up with a home-bound old friend and goes out to find the money. The whole film is brilliantly funny, with camera work and a score which you’d find in your classic espionage heist. This comedy only works because of the beautiful tender moments, and the vulnerabilities these characters show and have to face in their age. The film’s lead is based on the director’s own grandmother, and you can tell as this film is a beautiful love letter to all grandmothers out there.

Clearly, grumpy older lady is the flavour of the month, as the phenomeal Crossing also features a woman looking for one last adventure. This time, however, it’s a Georgian woman who brings a young neighbour to Turkey to find her transgender niece. Meanwhile, a transgender lawyer is falling in love in a co-current story and helping residents of their block. A far less comic and more dramatic piece, this sees Mzia Aribuli bring one of the year’s best performances.

The film is beautifully shot, with characters well realised. Each feels lonely in a big bustling world and full of regret. They’re all missing some form of family and regretting their actions. No character feels judged, instead a story is just told. It’s a wonderful telling of transgender characters who exist without question. They are just there. It’s a sweet, tender, grown up movie, and a much better watch, I imagine, than the latest Marvel rubbish (which admittedly I haven’t seen).

My film of the month is probably the lowest budget movie I will have seen this year. Hundreds of Beavers is a slapstick, Chaplin-esque movie about a local drunkard who wants to get revenge on the local beavers who are reeking havoc, partly to impress a girl.

Very much a loony-tunes but live action movie, every animal is a human wearing a suit. The film feels stupid, but also smart. It has an array of incredible visual gags and many things which happen are linked back later on. It’s incredibly tight and really funny. One of the most creative and most enjoyable films which will be around this year, if you’re going to try one left field movie, make sure it’s this one.

I hate every blockbuster I see from Movie A to Movie Z, thus my decision not to make a monkey out of myself and watch Something of the Planet of The Apes may be considered justified. However, that is a lie as sometimes I like the big films. There were big films out this month otherwise, with the big car one and the tennis one, as well as a slew of smaller films from all over. Despite a slight change of job and a bout of illness, I did get to see some films, so let’s see which films were wrong and which had the spirit of Earth all along.

Challengers is a real thrill ride. It’s a real back and forth between two people in a rivalry which has built as both players look to use strength, luck and working out what the other player will do. There is an intensity which is beautifully captured for quite a unique experience. That is my review of one of my favourite card/board games. The tennis movie, however, was rather underwhelming. The third big feature by Luca Guadagnino following the great Call Me By Your Name and the totally average Bones and All just doesn’t quite hit the spot. Two tennis players who both like the same third tennis player (Zendaya), who is married to one (Mike Faist). When Faist’s player goes through a bad run, his coach-wife who is living through him sends him to a rubbish tournament to get his form back when, oh my word, he ends up back against his old best friend and her ex played by Josh O’Connor.

The film fails as a tennis movie. It’s clearly not made for fans of the sport, both players come cross as geeky and whiney instead of athletes. There is a dissonance in what the director wants to do and what is done. The film also tries to be fun and raunchy, which again it isn’t really. Maybe for the grave-humping TikTok watching Saltburn slurping generation, some people kissing is proper scandal, but compared to what the film wanted to market itself as, it was just a bit dull. Josh O’Connor was tragically under used in a basic script, more on him later though, while Zendaya showed that maybe she should stick to super hero and Disney movies. Whatever, watch it if you want to. Fault.

Hit Man is the new Richard Linklater (School of Rock/Boyhood/Before Trilogy) film, which is due to/has (depending on when I publish this) come out on Netflix. It fundamentally has a really fun idea behind it. Gary Johnson is a nobody teacher who lives a dull life. In his spare time, he helps police with the tech for stake outs when hunting down people who look to hire hit men to kill their loved ones. When the usual actor is suspended, he is thrown in as a fake hit man, a role he revels in. One day, however, he meets a woman fleeing an abusive husband and decides to help give her a second chance. From there, things spiral in this comedy caper.

This film is well made, well enough acted, and probably an interesting story. However, there was one big problem which really stopped me enjoying this film. When in the School of Rock, Jack Black plays a fake teacher, it’s dodgy, but well intentioned. I could get past it. However, when Gary Johnson, the lead character, carries on his fake persona, from a police based position of authority, to sleep with a vulnerable woman and is framed as a hero. This isn’t a 5 minute bit, it’s the whole movie. It just feels creepy and uncomfortable, but hey if you can get over that, you might really like this film.

Confession time, I haven’t seen Mad Max Fury Road. It’s been on my list of films to get around to, however I’ve been saving it for a big screen. This may have meant that I am missing vital context for the prequel Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga. Furiosa was abducted from her home by Dementus (Chris Hemsworth) and saw her mother killed. Naturally, she wants to avenge her mother and return home (which she may or may not do depending on people’s knowledge of what’s in the sequel, again I don’t know). The world, however, is full of nutters in fast cars trying to survive and trade or loot food and gas, which means she needs to become a fighter.

The film has some great elements. It looks great, and I really like the hair and make up and set pieces. It has all the quality elements of a blockbuster done well. Does it re-invent the wheel? No, not particularly. It’s not a film which shows how scarcity and fear lead to tyranny and how we parallel this and can avoid it. It’s a simple bang crash movie which if you’re into you’ll enjoy. A harmless enough picture.

Kidnapped is an Italian mid-budget film based on a true story about a Jewish boy who was taken from his family into the Catholic Church in the twentieth century. Focussing on the moments from his kidnapping until his adulthood, it looks at how this child looks to resist, and the church pressures him. Meanwhile, we also see his family struggle to get him back.

The film is never horrible or properly intense until towards the end. It tonally feels much like those old primary school Secret Garden films which you’d watch and probably find boring as a kid. The actors are all polished and the movie comes with a nice score, meaning it’s not some micro-budget indie film. Telling a story more than saying anything of depth, the simplicity of this film is in its strength, as even if you don’t have the historical knowledge you can still follow what is happening pretty easily. A solid movie.

Love Lies Bleeding sits in an awkward middle ground. While it’s certainly a bit too edgy to be mainstream, Rose Glass’ new film doesn’t quite feel body-horror enough to be a full on cult movie. When Lou, played by the always amazing Kristen Stewart, sees Jackie working out in her gym, it’s love at first sight. Jackie is a body builder who is looking to compete, and naturally Lou fosters a healthy relationship by pumping her with steroids. Meanwhile, Lou’s family is being a bit dodgy with murder and domestic abuse, a situation which she finds herself and Jackie drawn more and more into.

There is plenty to like in this film. Stewart is just wonderful, as is Ed Harris, and the story is novel. I was surprised at how tame it felt compared to Saint Maud, Rose Glass’ previous film, instead taking a more upbeat and hopeful tone, despite the substance abuse. It was clearly made for an art house crowd, but I’m not sure if being in the middle lane will find its audience. The film felt like it could be grim by its sounds, however the last 5/10 minutes just felt silly compared to the grittiness of the rest of the movie. On the whole, a really solid movie.

Pakistani tragic romantic, patriarchy bashing horror movies aren’t for everybody, however if they’re for you, boy is there a good movie which will be up your street, it’s In Flames. Following the death of Mariam’s grandfather, she and her mother Fariha are at a bit of a loss and drifting apart. When Mariam seems to be getting her life back together, tragedy strikes her again, as the worst of both super-natural and the natural start to follow her, men. Meanwhile, her mother is struggling with keeping her flat following her uncle’s attempt to take it from them. Again, men. Can they combine to unite against the patriarchy and the ghosts of the world?

A soft horror in terms of the scale of it all with few jump scares, more a feeling of unease, what this film does best as with most of the genre’s top films is to reflect its society. It’s an angry film with something to say about the treatment of women. It does this in a clever way looking at different forms of mis-treatment they may suffer from micro-aggressions to aggressions. It’s really well written, and fantastically acted by first time actors Ramesha Nawal as the daughter and Bakhtawa Mazhar as the mother. It has a very limited cinema run, but is out on Curzon Home Cinema and is well worth watching.

A goal of mine has been to tick off one film from every country in the world, therefore when Lithuania’s recent submission for best international film at the Oscars came on, was there any way I could give Slow a miss? And what a gem it was. A cute low budget romantic film, it shows dance instructor Elena meet sign-language interpreter Dovydas. This is quite intentional as they communicate and use their bodies to say things that words don’t. As their relationship blossoms she finds out he’s asexual, which means he isn’t sexually attracted to anybody.

This film was beautiful, with two characters being vulnerable with one another. It looked at things quite maturely, with them trying to build a relationship in a way which isn’t familiar to either. There is a bedrock of insecurity as Elena seems to be used to validation through sex and Dovydas has feelings of inadequacy and not being enough for her. The two actors have so much chemistry and you care so much for them. Meanwhile, the grainy film and handheld cameras reminded me of Once, the Irish singing film. This relationship carries the same intimate feeling as that does, with everything feeling natural. It’s the sort of film which will both break and mend your heart.

Worst Film of the Month

I’m aware that most of the films in my lower rankings this month were big budget, while those which were higher up were smaller independent films. That may make me look snobby, but I don’t care. The biggest flop of the month was also one of the most expensive. It was full of star power, money, loud action but also awful humour and the sort of self loving we all despise in Hollywood. The worst film of the month was The Fall Guy

Ryan Gosling is a stunt man who went through a bad accident, he comes back on set with the director played by Emily Blunt. He finds a dead body, then becomes some sort of spy. It’s like if Cars 2 was real. It’s just really bad. The two actors throw in half baked performances, the story is at best heavily convoluted. There’s really not much to say. Don’t bother. There are better films out there.

Best Film of the Month

When Alice Rohrwacher made Happy As Lazzaro seven or eight years ago, it was this beautiful quiet meditative film that I couldn’t find anyone else whom had watched. Rohrwacher’s new film La Chimera is just as good in very similar ways. Josh O’Connor (that guy again) plays an architect recently released from prison. Still grieving the loss of his wife, he and his gang of grave robbers go around finding shrines using his super-natural gift full of old possessions. The gang claim it to be a victimless crime, as we see death and capitalism together. However, as the film goes on O’Connor’s character meets others who change his ways of thinking.

While not much actively happens during the run-time, there is a powerful pull within which is difficult to put one’s finger on. Of course the acting is brilliant and the story pure, however there’s a quiet spirituality to the movie which creates intrigue. It almost creates a form of fairy tale, relying on grief and character growth. The slow pace may put some people off, however those who truly engage are rewarded with a rich experience. Some beautiful cinematography made this a tapestry to behold, and I left the film afterwards with a quiet sense of profoundness.

Ladies and Gentlemen (Now we have removed our original scheduled post which had a title picture of a badly photoshopped Paddington, Oppenheimer, Barbie and Ken over some badly photoshopped royals) welcome to the sixth Annual ASBO awards with your hosts Ken, Paddington and Oppenheimer

K: Thank you, thank you. It’s great to host this years ASBOs live from Joe’s Mojo Dojo Casa Blog. 2023 has been a great year for films, with a film all about me, and other films by great men.

P: Yes, Mr Ken. There were great films by women as well. Let’s not forget about them.

K: Wait, women can make films now?

O: Oh why am I here? Haven’t I suffered in my eternal monologue enough now? They said if I joined this ceremony, this could be the beginning of the end. I think they were right.

P: Oh Mr Oppenheimer don’t say that. Here, have a cup of tea and a marmalade sandwich.

O: Wow. Life… suddenly seems… lighter. I should tell Einstein.

K: In the meantime, let’s begin with the first awards.

P: Every year we see people at the Oscars joke that animated films are for children.

K: We know that’s not true, because it’s in the script. Sometimes, films with animation in can be weird. They can have bears being family with middle class Londoners

O: Londoners who have to deal with the looming threat of Nuclear war thanks to my bomb. What have I done?

Here are the nominees

Hi, it’s Joe. I promise I will get bored. In the meantime, here are the ASBO nominees for best animated feature. TMNT was inspired by Spider-verse movies and gave it a decent go, while Bling Willow was a really odd charming animated feature, not necessarily made for family. Junk Head is a stop motion two person project which can even be found on YouTube. Again weird, but worth a watch. The winner this year will be The First Slam Dunk, a classically Japanese anime film about a basketball team in their big final, flashing back through their lives. It had a real balance of heart and thrilling moments. Not easy to find, it’s definitely worth fishing out.

K: Next up we’ll go to the sound categories. Sounds can make anything believable, like my stable of manly horses in my Casa Mojo Dojo.

P: Mr Oppenheimer, when your bomb went off in the film, it did give Mrs Bird a jolly good scare.

O:….

And the nominees for best sound are

Some really good options here if I may say so myself (My originally planned nominee actually won the Oscar annoyingly). Monster used sounds as cues in intertwining stories brilliantly, while Creed and Hunger Games both used them in increasing action scenes thrillingly. Society of Snow was fantastic, especially in its early visceral crash scene. However, the winner has to be How to Blow Up a Pipeline which not only knows when to use sound, but when not to in order to create tension fantastically. This climate activist thriller knew what it was doing, and left me not feeling able to breathe at times. It’s really really good thanks to the use of sound.

P: As well as sounds we also have music.

K: Yes, like I’m just Ken.

P: We’re talking about the whole score instead of just a song Ken

K: I don’t think we are

O: Yes we are. Here are the nominees

Another category where my top pick actually won the Oscar, the winner this year would’ve been my second pick overall. The late Ryuchi Sakamoto is a brilliant film composer, and his gentle piano score in Monster is as good a soundtrack as you’ll find. A brilliant composition which ties everything together nicely, it deserves a good win.

K: The biggest snub for the Oscars was the song that I sang barbie at the beach

Other Ken: The biggest snub for the Oscars was the song that I sang barbie at the beach

Other Ken: The biggest snub for the Oscars was the song that I sang barbie at the beach

K: I can’t wait to see it here, and the nominees are…

Some absolute bangers here. No Diane Warren losing her 15th oscar. Each of these songs were paramount and helped find the heart in the films. However, my choice for best song goes to John Carney’s usually Irish singing movie of this year (Also see Sing Street and Once), Flora and Son, with the song Meet in the Middle – Flora and Son sang by Joseph Gordon Levitt and Bono’s daughter

O: Now onto the writing awards. Having read books about science, I also like reading words on movies. A good story with great pacing is wonderful, and can make three hours feel like one.

K: Unless you’re sat there waiting for my movie, in which case your three hour long movie feels like six hours.

P: Firstly, Original Screenplay. These stories are brand new ideas, all of which provide really interesting stories.

Each of these films show emotions brilliantly. While How To Have Sex was so powerfully written, the winner of the ASBO will be Rye Lane, a quick quippy movie which has yet twists so many rom-com tropes. Each line of this under 90 minute movie is entertaining and exciting. You fall in love with the characters and each entertaining moment doesn’t feel wasted. One of the best rom-coms ever.

and now for adapted screenplay. The nominees are:

I’d argue that this year’s adapted nominees are the stronger of the writing category. Wonka was creative, Society of Snow showed resilience beautifully, while Pipeline took a book and turned it into a taut thriller which felt meant for screen. Leave the World Behind was snappy in its dialogue, while Margaret was really intellegent and was a brilliant story for women every where. However, the quiet and devistating conversations in every scene in All of Us Strangers means that has to take the win.

K: Next up is the technical awards. These awards can help you believe you’re reading an award show about a man who died decades ago or an animated fictional bear, or that women can be doctors.

O: Women can be scientists. We even had them on the manhattan project

K: Oh Oppenheimer, those aren’t women. They’re just visual effects. Speaking of which, your nominees are

Ummm, nothing really stand out this year, as I don’t watch most of the crap and my imagined ASBO choice again won the Oscars. The ASBO goes to Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.

P: Next up is costumes.

K: Do you wear many clothes Paddington

P: Well, I’m a little bear.

O: and the nominees are

A really interesting and different lot here. The titular pretty red dress is so powerful, so are the costumes of Femme and Iron Claw. Smoking Causes Coughing has lots of fun, while Wonka throws us back to a magical character. Likewise, The Promised Land takes us back in time with its clothes commenting on class. The ASBO goes to Femme for telling the characters’ stories with the clothing.

P: Mr Ken, do you wear make up?

K: I can’t as my job is beach.

P: What about you, Mr Oppenheimer.

O: No, which is why we’re experts on our next award: Best Hair and Make Up. Here are your nominations:

Each of these films use Make Up in fun and different ways, making people turn into their characters. However, one film goes above and beyond in make up, and that’s Sick of Myself, a film about a woman who takes dangerous drugs to get attention, to horrific consequences.

P: Mr Oppenheimer, what is editing in a film?

O: Well, nobody really knows. But I think its about how scenes are stitched together and jump around.

P: Congratulations to the winner of best pictu..

Whoops, here are the nominees

Whether a brilliant show of tender conversations, visceral plane crashes or keeping us on edge throughout three consistent story lines, or creatively telling stories to a love interest, these films all edit fantastically. Despite it receiving a mixed reception, I personally thought the high tension showed brilliantly with a foreboding sense of danger means the ASBO winner is Leave the World Behind. The dystopian thriller was slow at times, but it built well leaving you to wonder who could be in danger. It also referenced Friends.

O: Production design is about bringing places to life, like Los Alamos

K: It’s pronounced Los Alamos Dojo Casa Scientific base, but close

Your nominees are

Each place here told a story, even the god awful Saltburn. I mean seriously, what a naff film. But the building was nice. Shout out to the Hunger Games for a far better grittier look and feel. However, best production design has to go to the pretentious Asteroid City.

K: Cinematography is about making films look nice

O: Yes, by doing more than splashing them with pink

K: Screw you, at least we had some colour.

P: Gentlemen, it seems you have forgotten your manners. Do I need to bring out the hard stare Aunt Lucy taught me?
O: No Paddington

K: No Paddington

P: Good, then without further ado, here are the nominees for best cinematography.

One movie this year made every frame look beautiful. The use of light and reflection was absolutely wonderful. Despite these all being elite, nothing could hold a candle to the frankly incredible All of Us Strangers.

O:
Je suis devenu la mort, destructrice des mondes.
Je suis devenu la mort, destructrice des mondes
Je suis devenu la mort, destructrice des mondes

P: What was that Mr Oppenheimer?

O: Oh, nothing. Here are the nominees for best international film:

Again, all of these films are great. However, my favourite of this list was the sci-fi time travelling gothic French film The Five Devils which was a masterful story telling about family and love in a unique and interesting way. Go and watch it.

K: and now we’re onto the big awards. The acting awards, where Margot Robbie was shafted, for some darn other women.

P: So was Aunt Lucy. She seemed so sad, that she’s not being the same recently, as you’ll see in Paddington 3.

O: Let’s see if either of them were nominated. First up, best actress in a supporting role:

Okay, so let’s do a top 3. In third place, Rachel McAdams in Margaret. Regina George took on mother who had lost her way in human form in a dignified manor. She really was a lot of fun and sold a quiet role with lots of dignity. In second is Julianne Moore who’s predatory character in May December showed an uneasy child likeness which kept you on the edge of your seat as we, with Natalie Portman, tried to learn about her with disgust and intrigue. However, the winner of the ASBO has to be Claire Foy – All of Us Strangers. She was phenomenal in this movie. Her scenes in the diner, with Andrew Scott’s coming out and Always on My Mind were just fantastic pieces of emotional cinema. While most plaudits have gone to Scott and Mescal, I think she really stole the show. You fully believe she is his mother, despite them being the same age. This is what acting is.

This is probably the toughest award, with no clear winner. In third place is Charles Melton in May, December who shows more of the childlike vulnerability I mentioned for Julianne Moore with a quieter side. In second place is John Magaro in Past Lives who could’ve so easily been an easy to hate character, but he was really human in his relationship with the lead character. However, the ASBO goes to Dominic Sessa – The Holdovers, a first time actor who stands up to a powerhouse Paul Giamatti performance with wit and deep emotion in good balance. The film finds the fine line between humour and those deeper moments, and that’s in part thanks to him doing both ever so well.

What a brilliant year for acting talent in both the male and female lead roles. In third place I’ll go with Zac Efron for Iron Claw who put in a career best as part of a family ultimately cursed by their abusive father. In second is Natey Jones who carried Pretty Red Dress with a tender vulnerability. He would’ve won most years if it wasn’t for the equally as vulnerable, devistatingly quiet performance of Andrew Scott – All of Us Strangers. I praised Claire Foy earlier but Scott’s quiet vulnerability and almost childlike state which you see in his eyes is just brilliant. He was someone you needed to win and were heart broken for him when he didn’t. A lonely character, this film felt lived thanks to him.

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Do we have to choose a best winner. Yes we do. The Color Purple movie was average, but Fantasia Barrino and case were all brilliant. She’s in third. In second place I’d put Greta Lee for Past Lives. Her scenes with Magaro and Yoo are just incredible, particularly the bar one. The ASBO goes to the BAFTA rising star winner Mia McKenna-Bruce – How to Have Sex. who was just fantastic in showing teenage angst and vulnerability on an interior against a brash performative exterior. For such a young performer to give such a mature performance, you know she’s destined for great things. Hopefully she doesn’t throw it all away to be in a tacky marvel movie.

K: And now for the big award

P: the award we would have won if the ASBOs started earlier

O: and the award we may have won if we didn’t win the Oscars.

K: Gentlemen, it’s been a pleasure. Let me know if you’re in Barbie Land.

P: Oh that’s very kind. I might bring Aunt Lucy. I think she’ll love it there.

O: Yes, thank you Ken. If you ever end up in 1940s New Mexico make sure to give me a ring as well.

KPO: Right, time for your nominees for best picture:

Here we go, the big award. The one you skipped everything else above to scroll down to.

In third place is The Five Devils. It’s an interesting lesbian back to the future gothic romantic french fairytale. This blog wouldn’t be pretentious enough if it didn’t make top three. In second place is one of the greatest rom-coms of all time, it’s Rye Lane.

As you’ve probably guessed scrolling through the awards, the ASBO for Best Picture goes to All of Us Strangers. It’s the best film I’ve seen for a few years, showing grief and loneliness in an intimate way. The writing is incredible, cinematography brilliant and acting is top class. Cinema is meant to make you feel and I don’t think there is another film which will make you feel as much as this one does.

Congratulations All of Us Strangers. You join an elite crew.

See you next year

P: …re All of Us Strangers

“I will post on this blog once a month” I told myself as I planned all sorts of thrilling days out over the coming weeks (Watford on a Sunday anybody). “I mean, I’ll forget about it. But, whatever”. Then Rebel Wilson fans got their hands on that chemical from Snowpiercer and made everything so cold. This basically meant I had nothing better to do than write. So, let’s talk about the best and worst films I’ve seen this month.

The mediocre

The Lost Boys was a European prison drama about two young gay people who had no personality, looked at each other moodily and fell in love. Whatever, it was fine, just the characters lacked anything which would make you invest in them. A similar and much better film to invest in is Great Freedom on MUBI. Not a bad watch, but not that interesting. Anyway, none of you are ever going to watch it, so lets move on to the film some of you might watch.

Daniel Kaluuya’s directing debut The Kitchen (3/5) also came out and is available on Netflix. Based in a dystopian future in a place representative of Camden, the film is about a man who finds a boy and looks after him. However, the government plans to kick the people out of their homes. Tonally similar to Do The Right Thing, with Ian Wright taking over from Samuel L Jackson’s Mr Senior’s Love Daddy with Lord Kitchener, it’s difficult not to compare the themes of gentrification. The main difference, which is where I think The Kitchen falls into obscurity, is that there is no time taken to love the place. No stakes. In DTRT, Spike Lee introduces us to a wonderful set of oddball characters who make this street home. Meanwhile, Kaluuya just takes us into the plot and it feels a bit empty. When they try such a dramatic ending in this film and it feels flat, it’s never a good sign. It’s on Netflix if you want to watch it though

I’m really divided about how I feel about The Color Purple. Based on the novel, which was turned into a movie in the 1980’s, then a broadway musical, which this film was based on, tonally it feels all over the place. When Celie’s two children are taken and she’s married off to Mister, a physically abusive man life seems to only be going one way. Then singer Shug Avery comes along, and Mister acts nicer, because he wishes he married her. Some other things happen, horrible torture, music number, slapping the wife, music number, racism, music number. It’s just a bit of a mess.

However, the saving grace of this movie is the performances. Every single cast member is on point here. BAFTA nominee Fantasia Barrino leads well with a strong voice and emotive performance. Oscar nominee Danielle Brooks steal all of her scenes. Meanwhile, Colman Domingo as Mister and Tajari P Henson as shug are also larger than life. If only the film were directed a little better, this really could’ve been great. Instead, it’s a bit of a naff film made watchable by some acting heavyweights.

The Good

I wasn’t particularly looking forward to One Life featuring Anthony Hopkins. Based on the life of Nicholas Winton, often dubbed the British Schindler, it shows the story of the man who helped rescue almost 700 Jewish children from the Czech Republic and bring them to the UK. Flipping between that time and the run up to the famous That’s Life clip, the film remains interesting and pertinent to our time. Both Hopkins and Johnny Flynn do a good job of bringing this film to life. With the exception of the famous scene, it never feels too hammy and gratuitous as Hopkins’ character shows guilt in an understated way. My one complaint is that the film feels 20 minutes too short. There is a bit missing where Flynn’s younger character needs to show his guilt in the moment that can linger with Hopkins, otherwise his inner monologue of failure feels flat. While this film doesn’t quite get to the enormous heights of Schindler’s List, it certainly never feels an awful watch.

The Great

Technically released at the back end of December, I will still take time to discuss Hayao Miyazaki’s The Boy and the Heron. After a boy loses his mum in a hospital fire, his dad moves him to live with his new mum (who is also his aunt. Turns out war time Japan was just Norwich). When he gets to the new place, he dreams about his mother calling and a pesky heron then comes to lead him to a magical afterlife. Full of fantastic imagery, and a hatred of birds, this movie latches on to the imagination in a pure way. Each frame feels like a piece of art with a good soundtrack to boot. The story may feel convoluted at times, and while this isn’t a top tier Studio Ghibli movie, it remains a very good one, filled with the themes of grief and coming of age that these movies are renowned for.

Society of Snow is based on a true story about a rugby team who’s plane crashes in the Uruguayan mountains. Subjected to brutally cold weather conditions, the remaining survivors have to make it through months of not being found and being assumed dead. The film does a great job of balancing brutal moments with hope. The plane crash itself is visceral, and the survivors have to deal with the guilt of cannibalism as they eat the remains of the dead to survive. Yet, there are warm moments and moments of true against the odds belief that keep this tender film one you remain invested in during its long run time. Some great cinematography and a top level score are enough to elevate this movie into brilliance, even if at times the big cast make it difficult to know who is who and invest in a certain lead set of leads. It’s on Netflix and is definitely worthy of a watch

As it is Oscar season, we really are getting into the good stuff now. The Holdovers was nominated for five Oscars including best picture, screenplay, Actor and Supporting Actress, and deservedly so. The movie focuses on a teacher at a posh boys academy played by Paul Giamatti. Cynical about the world and his privileged students, he’s tasked with supervising the five students who can’t go home for Christmas, including Tully (Dominic Sessa). When the students apart from Tessa have an out, only those two and cook Mary (Da’Vine Joy Randolph), a grieving mother, are left as an unconventional family to celebrate Christmas together, in a sad melancholic way.

This movie isn’t exactly heavy on plot, instead being like films of old, fundamentally focussing on letting the characters breathe, as they all come to terms with a world they think is against them. Truly one of the great future festive movies, we don’t forget this is a Christmas movie, and the film balances the sadness and happiness in an incredibly controlled way. Along with a soundtrack from the 80s and grainy camera footage, this movie tonally feels like a blast from the past and is a real pleasure to watch.

The big film that was apparently snubbed at the Oscars (despite 8 noms) was Barbie. Despite this, there was a film in double digits which felt thematically similar. It wouldn’t be cheap to describe Poor Things as Barbie for weird freaks. Being a bit of a weird freak, I really loved it. When we meet Bella (Emma Stone), she has the brain of an infant, but the body of an adult. Learning more everyday, she remains sheltered by her scientist father figure (Willem Dafoe). As more men meet her, these sleazy individuals start to fall for her. One, played by Mark Ruffalo, takes her on a trip around Europe. Here she starts to really learn about the world, looking to develop her knowledge of philosophy and meet people, while having copious amounts of on-screen sex (So not one to take your aunt to).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl0lv3IVCzI&ab_channel=Fremantle

This is definitely the sort of film where you need to accept you won’t like some characters. The men are all rather scummy, while the women look for empowerment in the pursuit of knowledge. Bella finds beauty and horror in the real world, much like Barbie funnily enough. As well as some fantastic acting, which puts Stone on course for a possible Oscar, the movie looks fantastic. Every place is full of colour, showing a hyper obscurity to match the strangeness of the situation, much like the score which feels electric. It’s an odd gothic Frankenstein-esque story which certainly isn’t for everyone. However, those who can stomach strange cinema will have an enthralling time.

Worst Film of the Month

I have no shame in admitting I love the movie Mean Girls, by which I mean the original. Its level of betrayal and power are almost shakesperian. Throw in horrible characters being horrible to one another in a scathing way, much like many classics such as Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf and All About Eve. Sprinkle in some great humour and iconic quotes and you have a masterpiece…

then you have Mean Girls (2024).

Based on the theatre adaptation of the movie of the book, the plot is pretty identical to the 2004 film. Cady moves from Africa to a generic American high school where she meets Damian and Janice. They convince Cady to infiltrate the plastics to find out their secrets. Lead by Regina this clique is feared by everyone. Anyway, fetch happens, Cady likes the power, the movie rolls on like a bus the end.

I really disliked this film for a number of reasons. First up is the musical element. This list of generic songs were all autotuned and instantly forgettable. They happen at random points and frankly slow down the film. Any attempt at witty quick dialogue like in the original is blown out of the water along with any sense of authenticity.

Secondly, the film is made for a certain generation. This is really made for a TikTok generation. The film is full of references which will go out of date, much like a theatrical humour where at the end of the night the joke is stale. Any jokes which focus on human nature instead look at buzzwords and the film feels worse for it.

The main problem, however, is that the film loses its bite. The original was brutal, yet honest in its humour. In our increasingly sanitised media, there seems to be a utopic vision that people aren’t really mean. This isn’t mirrored in reality, and the fact this film doesn’t have the characters be hugely mean in a cruel psychotic way just shows the thesis for this film is not on point. Some lines are also changed in a way which seems to go against this cruelty. Most notably, Regina is no longer a fugly slut, but a fugly cow (Come on…). Joining the mathletes is no longer social suicide, but socially ruinous.

I mean, this was always going to be a tough film to get anywhere near right for fans of the original. The dialogue is brilliant in the 2004 version, so when you hear a line from it you thin “nice”. They jump into singing, it’s like “not nice”. Regina says “Get in loser” and finishes the sentence there without “We’re going shopping” and you want to commit ruinous. The first cafeteria scene isn’t there properly. We don’t have jingle bell rock, instead a random musical number which doesn’t show the moment Cady becomes accepted into the team and half the infiltration going missing. Instead, it’s a haphazard rubbish mess which requires its audience to know the plot, but that audience already likes Mean Girls.

Also, why were the head teacher and the drug pusher back?

Don’t waste your time with it.

Film of the Month

Cancel the ASBO’s, cancel film of the year. We have it all wrapped up in January. When I finished watching All of Us Strangers, I turned to my aunt, with red puffy eyes, and said “I can’t remember the last time I watched a film this good”. It was just phenomenal.

Adam (Andrew Scott) is a writer in his forties. Alone in the world, his friends have all moved away from London and had families, while he, as a gay man, never considered that a possibility. His parents died in a car crash when he was twelve. One night, his neighbour Harry (Paul Mescal) knocks on his door to come in, noting that Adam is always alone and may like some company. Adam refuses at first, but later their relationship blossoms. At the same time, while writing about his parents, he goes back to his childhood home, where he finds his parents in an almost ghost like manner, as they’re still the age they were when they died. Adam, now older than them, has the chance to have conversations he never got to have with them.

Is any of this real, or is it all in his head? That’s not important. What’s important is that it’s absolutely devistating.

Every single image in this movie is perfectly planned by director Andrew Haigh and team. Each shot feels like a tapestry. The angle of each shot and the relative position of the characters shows an important perspective or relationship. The characters blend with the scenery, and the use of light, particularly with these spiritual characters is phenomenal, with these moments offset by far darker backgrounds in Adam’s apartment. This movie is just fantastic to look at. Hang it in a gallery.

The actors are all just fantastic as well. Andrew Scott acts with his eyes beautifully. His face shows every emotion under the sun, as we see a hardened person broken back down to their childlike state as they face their vulnerabilities. Paul Mescal is as brooding as ever, playing off against Andrew Scott well. Jamie Bell as the dad is all grown up from his Billy Elliot days, playing a tough man who regrets not being tender. Claire Foy also steals the show as the mother. Her bond with the lead character is clearly there, but time has stretched it.

Meanwhile, the writing is so tight. There is a lot of show don’t tell, which really works in this almost trance like state. However, each conversation feels real and tender. Scott’s conversations where he comes out to his mum, but they’re from two different eras, and his reconciliations with both of his parents are brilliant, while the last 20 minutes are just poetry. The needle drops of the movie are incredible as well. There are wonderfully tender moments with Pet Shop Boys and Frankie Goes to Hollywood which use these songs so beautifully.

The whole film wraps itself up beautifully. There is a point where you wonder what is the point of the parents being here. Is it to help Adam heal? Well, yes, but the narrative unwraps to show so much more. It also looks at how Adam can grow and help those around him, coming to terms with his losses as well as helping them come to terms with theirs. It’s a coming of age story for someone who would commonly be considered too old for such a film. But those considerers are wrong. This movie is fantastic.

Close this tab and find a screening instead. Bye

Well, if something is going to get me to write on this blog it’s a significant cultural film event. Not since Avengers endgame have I heard cinematic excitement. Screens selling out everywhere (even other films such as Mission impossible getting a boost). Did Spiderman save cinema, or did it take a couple of bombshells? So, Ken shirt in tow, I summoned the council of mum, dad, sister and aunt to London to join me for the double bill, with a mixture of attitudes around which film to be hyped for. Naturally, I was hyped for both.

Our day started with a screening of Oppenheimer, the new film from Christopher Nolan about J. Robert Oppenheimer, the scientist who lead the creation of the atomic bomb, looking at his meeting of scientists, the town he built and the impacts of the bomb on him.

The film is essentially split into three parts. the first part is about Oppenheimer’s education. Sure, this bit is relevant, but also Nolan at his coldest and most time-jumpy. It’s very on brand for him, as he gives you little to invest in the character for. It is important in the third act, as his communist links come back to bite him, but could’ve been shorter. However, once we get going into the second act, the creation of the bomb, the film really gets going. You’re introduced to a smorgasbord of scientists you’ve never heard of (apart from the breaking bad guy and Einstein). We watch the team try to come up with something before the Germans and then the Russians. The third act after dropping the bomb sees Oppenheimer’s internal struggle and battle with politicians about how to use the bomb. This bit is also rather jumpy as it turns into more of a courtroom drama (or two courtroom dramas), however the bits which focus on Oppenheimer’s emotional state are where it shines.

Naturally being a Nolan film, it does remain cold, but it also has big fancy effects. A big booming soundtrack and explosions are enough for your film bro to enjoy. There is a moment in the film where they test a bomb. The explosion was so loud the cinema vibrated, almost providing a level of clarity and immersion I haven’t felt. It shook me, leading to a next 15 minutes of feeling like Cillian Murphy.

Speaking of Murphy, the man with the most Irish sounding name for a Jewish character (an important part of his motivations), this man can act. His gaunt face dealing with the struggles of war, his eyes showing every struggle. It was a case of acting well as the character, without any need to be melodramatic. It was natural and it really worked.

The set design was also top notch, and despite being three hours, the film never really felt that long, instead keeping a good pace and bit of intrigue. The editing was great, as was the cinematography. the 20 minutes between the test bomb and reaction to the real bombs were some of the best cinema I’ve seen in a long time. Despite this, the film most certainly had flaws, and I’m not just talking about the worst film sex scene known to man.

Firstly, the female characters, including Oppenheimer’s two wives all felt like extras and nothing more, even Emily Blunt whose character felt way more important. Nolan doesn’t write women where he can avoid it, and somehow did here (Maybe the anti-patriachial Barbie got to me). The focus on Robert Downey Jr’s Strauss over himself during the black and white sections was also less interesting. It explained what happened to Oppenheimer, but from a cold distance. While the distance works at times to show the cold calculated scientist needed for such a project, it does come with a barrier against warming to the character, instead it’s like being at a zoo.

The last thing I want to discuss is a mention around the criticism of not seeing the impact of the bomb on Japan. While the criticism is valid, it’s also important to consider that this is from Oppenheimer’s perspective. We go in with our view, but are there to see his. This movie isn’t the platform to discuss the impacts. Japanese films such as the incredible “Grave of the Fireflies” will give more respect to those victims of war than an American film could. You see the celebrations but know the dissonance in your mind, leading to almost a sense of panic felt also by Oppenheimer and in my mind that’s one of the film’s strengths. You feel his isolation as only he sees the big picture, leading to that cold last scene.

Oppenheimer is a fantastic blockbuster which looks and sounds incredible, telling a difficult story about a character in a fairly cool and calculated way. Despite this approach, Cillian Murphy really shines brining this character to life. Oppenheimer is an essential big screen film.

So after feeling down about the bomb, it was time to go to the pink palace of the Barbie movie. Based on the famous toy, I was very excited to see a new film by indie juggernaut Greta Gerwig of Labybird fame.

Barbie Land is a magical place which exists separately from the real world. Here, everything is great. Barbies can do anything they want to and they know they’ve inspired young girls to do whatever they want and to rule the world. They thrive and party. Meanwhile, Kens just want to be Barbies boyfriends, particularly Ryan Gosling’s Ken who has a rivalry with another Ken. One day, Barbie gets existential and thinks about dying. To sort this out, she goes to the real world where she finds that women aren’t in charge and she discovers the patriarchy, as does Ken who embraces this new way of living to comedic effect, believing as he’s a man he can do anything. From here, the film becomes a loud proud feminist manifesto (or a womanisfesto for fans of a portmanteau)

At a high level I liked this film, however I didn’t quite love it. Let’s talk about the good things first though because there were plenty of good things. Firstly, it was a pretty funny movie. Most of the jokes land, and I was chuckling throughout, as these ridiculous characters were put into such silly situations. The opening scene would’ve been my favourite ever if it wasn’t already in a trailer (The OTT marketing certainly ruined many of the best moments). As well as some fun gags for everyone, there were a number of PG gags. Most of the humour would’ve gone over the heads of young children, with this film being aimed at those slightly older.

The film didn’t really try to hide the shortcomings of Barbie dolls, showing some of the things Mattel did wrong and the negative impacts of perfect stereotypical Barbie. It was smart there as well as passionate about what it wanted to say.

Margot Robbie was expectedly great, however the star of the show was Ryan Gosling who played a fun and simple character who had a level of hurt in him. He had the best lines and his deliveries and expressions were all brilliant. Switching from dope to antagonist in a light way really allowed him to mess around and not take himself seriously.

The throwback costumes were all executed brilliantly with love and passion, while the set design which caused a global shortage of pink paint was also top notch. They made this film the way they wanted to, not taking short cuts.

The film, for all its hype is by no means perfect though. Gerwig seemed to have a lot of gags and jokes she wanted to make for her film, with a strong message. Unfortunately, this tended to leave the plot lacking as at times it seemed clear this was not a priority, instead an attempt at a cult film. Random gags were scatter gunned only to be awkwardly referred back to later on, losing the tightness that gerwig’s other films have been known for. Remember how Barbie was meant to go and save the woman who was struggling in the real world? Neither does the plot.

The ending as well felt a bit rushed, while also failing to bring home the key points. Sure, it may have allowed for some character growth, but there were some really odd decisions which ended up leaving it feeling rushed. There were a couple of other issues which I won’t go into due to spoilers. The film lacks nuance, which is fine, however that maybe prevents it from discussing the impact of barbie on society at that more personal level.

Despite its flaws however, Barbie remains an unapologetically fun and memorable film. With actors on top form and exciting technical achievements in production, soundtrack and costumes, it’s by no means one to avoid. It’s just lacking that narrative refinement which would have made it a film for the ages.