Category: Review

Spiderman Across The Spiderverse

When Spiderman Into The Spiderverse came out it was nothing less than revoloutionary. In a world of more grey, lifelike 3d pixar-esque cartoons coming out in a homogeneously dull way, Spiderverse was unapologetically fun. It was a comic book movie which looked like a comic book. It oozed fun and charisma, with its exciting visuals and enjoyable story. The leap of faith moment was jaw-dropping and changed animation forever. Since then, we’ve had an increasing number of spider-verse style films, from Mitchells and the Machines to Puss in Boots 2. This means Spiderman Across the Spiderverse comes into a totally different world, one where we’ve seen this sort of film so they need to amp it up and smash the high benchmark they set themselves. Now, did they meet this standard? Well, it’s tough to say.

MINOR SPOILERS TO FOLLOW

Spiderverse 2 takes place an unspecified amount of time after the original, with Miles, Gwen and Peter back into their universe. The first 30 minutes focuses on Gwen, whose police captain father is still after spider woman. When she goes out to fight an odd looking enemy from another time, she meets Miguel O’Hara, the spiderman from a different spiderverse on Earth 2099, who recruits her to an elite spider crew to deal with anomalies who fall into other spiderverses. Meanwhile, back on the Earth we know, Miles is still being the friendly neighbourhood spiderman, dealing with villain of the week The Spot, a character cleverly integrated from the prequel, but who doesn’t seem a serious threat. Gwen comes along, and he joins her on an adventure with the spider crew. However, as we go into act 2, Miles starts to have conflict with the spider crew. That’s all I’ll say.

First thing to say, this film looks phenomenal. Its scenes may even look nicer than its predecessor. There is an creative freedom as the shackles are off. The scenes can be madder, faster and more artistic. It’s an exciting visual spectacle with so much more.

The new characters brought in are all exciting. Miguel O’Hara, Spider-Punk and the Indian Spider-Man are all amusing and each have their moments, although at times having such a big cast and full film meant they were skipped over, unlike in the last film. Miles and his parents are on top form, however his relationship with his mentor Peter Parker seems to have ret-conned as he becomes another goofy side character.

The film is thankfully fairly easy to follow. In a world of animation, it’s still some of the best looking we’ve had. In a world of increasing multi-verse trend movies, this movie remains simple despite there seeming to be everything, everywhere. All at once, it seems like a brilliant film where everything

However, despite what comic movie nerds may think, bigger is not always better. This film is the second in a trilogy and looks to end on a cliff-hanger as a set up for film 3 which is released next year. This is fine, but what it means, much like Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers is that you end up with lots of half baked areas, and nothing concluded and feeling a slight lack of satisfaction. This is particularly an odd choice as we end the film with three powerful antagonists at large. They could have potentially instead focussed on their first story and concluded that with a potential cliff hanger being the start of the second half. This would have been a bit more exciting, as essentially instead what they did was do half a film then just leave it aside to set up a totally different plot.

Across the Spider-verse is at least a fun energetic film. However, a lack of wow moment and plot issues which are synonymous with middle of trilogy films stop it from being as elite as the original.

Every time I start this blog, it seems to involve a constant apology and a vow to write it more. However, this recent hiatus has been caused by being unwell. By chance, my most recent bout of illness came the day after TomCruiseFansOfScientologyFilms invited me over for dinner and we had vegan meatballs. I asked them for the recipe as it was a good meal and olive branch between me and Mr Cruise who has become villain of the blog in 2023. He said of course you can have the recipe. I haven’t had a chance to recreate it yet. I just need tofu, soy sauce, arsenic and pasta. Maybe Mr Cruise knew I’m allergic to soy sauce.

Alas, I have recovered now and am looking forward to more cinematic endeavours which started with my my recent outing to Harbour Lights in S*uthampton to watch “Are you there God, it’s me Margaret”. Hopefully this film would be as satisfying as playing Status Quo’s Down Down when driving past Saint Mary’s stadium.

Well, while nothing can compare to the enjoyment of your local city rival’s demise, AYTGIMM does certainly leave you smiling as a warm hug of a film. Based on the famous book my Julie Bloom, the film is a sweet, almost awkward, coming of age film about 11-year-old Margaret Simon, a young girl whose concerned about growing up, her changing body and her relationship with God (as she has a Jewish father and Christian mother). Heavy, right? Well no, this is one of the warmest comedies out there which will leave you with a beaming smile as the credits roll.

Margaret moves from New York to suburban New Jersey. She meets Nancy from the big house down the road who introduces her to a secret gang where they talk about their changing bodies, with conversations around boobs and who will have their periods first. These chats has a comedic overtone as well as some more out there moments. As well as discussing these, this group has almost a Mean Girls vibes as they almost judge one another and part of building themselves up is knocking one another down and not discussing the insecurities they privately share, with Nancy very much playing the Regina George role.

Speaking of Regina George, there are other changes these characters have to deal with as Margaret’s mother (Played by Regina George actress Rachel McAdams) has to deal with the changes in her life in a new place, and her estranged parents, while the grandmother played brilliantly by Cathy Bates has to deal with her family moving away and her changes in life. Both side plots feel never over-bearing but aren’t the main reason you’re there. These stories all lead to a confrontation amongst everyone about religion and what Margaret’s identity is.

With such taboo cinema subjects as puberty and periods, there was a risk the film would be really awkward. However, with its PG BBFC certificate, the film never felt that way at all, with emotional moments packing a punch and the funny moments came with such an innocence you almost felt like you were laughing with the film makers and the characters at the ridiculousness, as opposed to at them. This can only really be achieved by a film having such a warm heart. The silliness is embraced, as the children look at their dad’s playboy magazine and ask if they will look like that when they’re nineteen, then throw their arms back in an exercise shouting “We must, we must, we must increase our bust”. It’s nonsense which is brought to a plausible extreme as it deals with universal themes of insecurity around the body. While this film is primarily made for young girls and their mums, it’s one where the themes will resonate with everybody no matter what and you’ll be able to connect.

More power to women for having films which unapologetically show their stories.

So that’s the award season all done huh. Everything Everywhere cleaned the Oscars as it deserved to, while Aftersun lead the ASBOs. So… now what? Do we go back to our petty feud with everyone’s favourite cult member Tom Cruise in his attempt to bring down the blog along with the church of Scientology?

No, instead I shall extend the olive branch by listing all of Tom Cruise’s incredible top tier films:

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On with the reviews…

In a world of increasingly long films which build a universe and a world, it’s somewhere for our imaginations to go. Yet, despite the beauty of Pandora or the excitement of the MCU, we forget the excitement and the beauty of the mundane which we encounter everyday. Rye Lane as a film goes directly against this, making art of its surroundings. Not only is it one of the most exciting, fresh romcoms of recent times, it’s also a beautiful love letter to the director’s home of Peckham.

A concept that sounds simple, at an odd art exhibition our lead Yas hears Dom crying in the toilets. He’s having a private moment of reflection as he’s still hurting from a break up a few months back. When Yas later recognises his shoes, she then befriends him as they explore Peckham and Brixton and it turns out he’s meeting his ex this day. She decides to join before their friendship grows and over the course of the day, Dom decides to help Yas and hijinks ensue as our characters start to fall for each other.

At just 82 minutes long, this film flies by. No scene feels wasted, and is instead filled with this positive, exciting energy which makes every moment feel important and a pleasure to watch. The comedy is more often than not on point and efficient. It also helps teach us about the characters, not just putting in jokes for jokes sakes and really is the archetypal definition of a rom-com. David Jonsson and Vivian Oparah both have so much chemistry, it all feels natural and never forced.

Much like When Harry met Sally, this is a tale of flawed characters, albeit in a simple way. Dom is nervous, hung up on his last relationship and the level headed of this comedic duo. Meanwhile, Yas is much more bubbly, yet her lingering self doubt is more internalised as her cockiness almost comes across as a mask.

Sure, these two characters are the main ones, but the third one is South London, mostly Peckham. We meet big characters, see beautiful places and it’s shot like a piece of art. We witness many colourful buildings and strange people who are not there to be laughed at, but to be appreciated as unique parts of this area’s architecture. It becomes so apparent this film is made by people from the area and it really is a wonderful love letter.

The way the film is shot is wonderfully creative as well. Grounded realism with a set of narrow close up shots allow these characters time to be the sole focus, against the aforementioned backdrop. The witty dialogue intercut with scenes of imagination (A break up story is briefly shown in front of a theatre of consisting of an audience of the other character). Never does this feel out of place as it remembers to keep its characters front and centre both with its script and production.

Rye Lane is a thing of beauty. A brilliantly warm and funny film about being your best self, this rom com succeeds at both the rom and the com to lead to a brilliantly fresh film.

Rye Lane is in cinemas now

There is something oddly haunting about communities of the world. They’re tight knit, very good to one another, but hostile towards others. We see this in rural communities often, with probably the most famous example being Hot Fuzz whose community did things for their greater good (the greater good). While that fictitious comedy is amusing, Spain’s latest True Crime drama The Beasts certainly isn’t a chirpy stroll in the park.

While watching this film, I had no idea it was based on true events. The film starts with a group of men wrestling down a horse to tag it, showing an immediately macho environment. We then see this rural Spanish community into which an academic French couple move. When we meet this community, they have already fallen out with the male, Antoine, who they refer to as just “Frenchy”. It turns out he has voted against an energy company planting wind turbines, thus denying the poverty stricken toiling farmers a big pay day and a new start. When suspicious events start to happen, Antoine buys himself a camera to record the goings on. However, this only antagonises the locals more, particularly brothers Xan and Lorenzo.

This whole film manages to create a nastily eerie atmosphere, with an understated flutey score which is almost like the wind, but in an unnatural way. The relationships between the characters leave you with a feeling that something bad is going to happen, with a gradual escalation built on desperation. This is helped by an absolutely top form cast. Denis Menochet as the stubborn Antoine is likable and fully believable as is his fearful wife, played by Marina Fois. Luis Zehera and Diego Anido as the siblings put themselves up for early ASBO 2024 contention as well. Anido particularly with a tilting head and uneasy staring. There are loud scenes with great dialogue, but the most tension seems to happen when people aren’t saying anything and the director flawlessly allows the tension to build quietly in the right places.

The long scenes of dialogue show who our characters are and how they will never agree. The thematic strands of poverty and environment are both shown in a fully brilliant and well thought out way, with frustration and stubbornness flowing through both the main plot and the coda. This film has stuck in my head since watching it as I couldn’t take my eyes away throughout the whole 137 minutes.

An absolute masterclass in tension, The Beasts is a top level Spanish psychological thriller with a tight script, beautiful scenery, but most tellingly top class acting from everybody involved. This is a film you won’t be able to look away from.

The Beasts is available in cinemas and on Curzon Home Cinema now

I went into The Five Devils totally blind, not sure what to expect as I hadn’t even seen a trailer. It was this or John Wick 4 or Allelujah. Therefore, it totally caught me by surprise that I enjoyed this film as much as I did.

Joanne is not in a happy place in life. She seems to have totally fallen out of love with husband Jimmy, with whom she has a daughter Vicky. One day she’s out with Vicky who shows her sense of smell is rather supernatural. She can find her mum when blindfolded just using that sense, while she is also collecting and recreating smells of other people. When Jimmy’s sister Julia turns up one day, everybody has to face the past. This includes Vicky who by using the smells of Julia can travel back in time and see what lead to this moment, but also influence it.

This leads to a really weird dark fairytale. This partly reminds me of Scandi gothic tales such as Border or Let the Right One In, while also having a story oddly similar to Back to the Future. This leads to an intriguind and unpredictable tale, which is also a fantastic and totally unique romance. The script is smart in that it constantly shifts your perceptions of who is god and who is bad, with no character ever seemigly a protagonist or antagonist as more of this puzzle box is revealed.

As well as being well acted, this film was shot beautifully. The cinematography airs a mystique, with some fantastically interesting shots. The scenes all look beautiful and the lighting conveys the emotion so well. While the title suggests this is a horror, it certainly isn’t. Instead, it’s a romantic film and a brilliant one which leaves you wanting more.

The Five Devils is out now in cinemas and on MUBI on May 12th

Note before I start: Yes, I know these pop culture references are already out of fashion. This post takes a long time to write… okay…

It’s time to parody songs. It’s time to write the lines. It’s time to see some new films in the ASBO awards tonight.

It’s time to come up with hosts. It’s time to write the noms. It’s time to get things started on the most sensational, aspirational, celebrational

This is what we call the ASBO show……

Here we are. Back after another year, and boy do we have some exciting movies, 52 to discuss it turns out, so let’s get on with it. Any film released in the UK in the last year is elegible for an ASBO in a given category as long as it isn’t nominated for an Oscar in the same one. If it is nominated in another category however, it is allowed to be ASBO nominated in the first category. Please welcome your hosts Paddington Bear and Gary Lineker

P: Yes, welcome everybody. Aunt Lucy will be so happy to see I’m hosting again.

G: Indeed, boy do we have some great films to see tonight.

P: Mr Lineker, can I ask you a quick question? Why aren’t you presenting Match of the Day

G: Well, turns out I had a free Saturday and the Asbos gave me a better offer. I do this for free and I get to tweet what I want about refugees.

P: Oh, but The Daily Mail won’t be happy if they find out you got another presenting gig.

G: It’s fine. Nobody reads this blog anyway. Onto the first award. I said you couldn’t write Leicester’s Premier League win in the 2015/16 season. These fine nominees could. Here is best adapted screenplay.

The four films here all did incredible jobs of bringing stories to life. After Yang made up believe in a futuristic robot family. Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy took us through three short stories about the human connection. Pinocchio told a story as old as time itself. However, the first ASBO of the night has to go to The Quiet Girl. This film was a beautiful story about the connection between a girl and her adoptive summer family. While a reserved movie, the lines really brought out characters in a brilliantly emotional way.

P: Oh Mr Lineker, I do like Animation. These nominees are both incredible examples of how animation can bring stories to life

Despite the Oscars doing a good job at nominating the better animated films this year (Damn them for making this post tougher), there were still two exceptional films in the animated category. While Anne Frank was an informative, creative story for children to learn about a historical figure, Entergalactic was a ninety minute music video from Kid Cudi showing romance in New York city. With its Spiderverse-esque style and great tone, Entergalactic wins the ASBO.

Every single film here looked stunning. Aftersun’s home movie footage had a legitimacy where you truly believed what you were watching. EO made you empathise with a donkey. However, with an impressive array of shots to make Paris almost seem like a warzone, the best cinematography this year undoubtedly came from Athena. Just watch this scene and tell me otherwise

What exactly is a director? Well, they put everything together and all four of these directors were central towards making a great movie. Charlotte Wells on no budget, Park Chan Wook seemlessly blending between genres, Jerzy managing six different donkeys and Jaffer Panahi making a movie without being there. Panahi’s story is really fascinating. Banned by his home country from making movies, he’s had to put together No Bears with fear of punishment and without getting caught doing so. Despite this, he still put together a fantasically complex movie. Therefore, Jafer Panahi wins the ASBO. Congrats Jafar

The four nominated documentaries were all strong entries from masters of their trade. The Territory told an urgent story about Amazon deforestation from an objective and interesting viewpoint. My Old School is one of the weirdest true crime dramas around which remains low stakes but deeply personal. A Bunch of Amateurs is a film about a group of old men who look to keep their cinema club alive, yet provides a deep look into each of their lives. However, the best doc asbo has to go to Children of the Mist, a film about forced marriages in a remote mountain community. It reveals the layers of a family dynamic in a nuanced way, while looking at a shocking subject manner. A brilliantly emotive film. Congratulations on your ASBO.

This is the 30 seconds of the year where I claim to know about hair and make up, so let’s get this out the way. Bones and All showed a brilliant weirdness. Northman and Triangle showing a rugged desperation while Nitram uses its make up to show somebody who has given up. Joyland is glamorous, however the hair and make up in Burundi film Neptune Frost means I can’t really give this award to anyone else. I watched the film and still don’t know what happened. Here’s a clip. Congratulations on your first ASBO Burundi

Sometimes, one film dominates a field so I won’t go into other nominations. This time, Aftersun wins best editing. It’s incredible and put together so smoothly. The Under Pressure scene (which contains thematic spoilers) shows the editing at its best

Time for something else I don’t know about, clothes. People wear them in films. In Neptune Frost someone wears a hat with five bike tyres. What does this mean? Everyone is looking on fleek (I’ll never say that again). The Woman King wins it, why not.

Here we go, what a set of movies. Great Freedom, an incredible Shawshank-esque tale of post WWII Germany. Joyland, a forbidden love story about a man and a trans women in Pakistan. You Resemble Me, a film about the worlds first female suicide bomber done with a real suave. Playground, a simple story about a girl dealing with her older brother being bullied. Onoda, a war epic where there is no war happening. However, Park Chan Wook’s seductive mystery thriller Decision To Leave was one of the best of the genre, bringing out a noir Hitchcock feel. This is cinema at its best. Shame on the Oscars for totally snubbing this masterpiece. Oh well, my gain.

A brilliant set here again. I mentioned the bottom 3 in the last category. Broker is a fun, exciting film about the values of family which turns up the charm. Bodies is a film which will divide, but remains an entertaining and sharp satire murder mystery, much more so than Glass Onion. However, the winner of its second ASBO of the night has to be Aftersun. Meticulously thought through, the natural style of dialogue feels like one you’d hear on any family holiday. The humanity breezes through effortlessly thanks to an incredible piece of writing.

Production Deisgn is “Do the buildings look cool?” From the helplessness of Nitram to the expansive world of The Batman to the utopian feeling The Woman King, these films have taken us all into different worlds. However, the ASBO winner for this category has to be The Northman for its incredibly eerie scenery.

The soundtracks of all five of these films are fantastic. From Athena’s operatic calm against the chaos to Casablanca’s rap soundtrack, After Yang provides a futuristic scifi fantasy, A shout out to the simple charming Pinocchio with a whimsical soundtrack inkeeping with its theme and visuals. However, with a huge blockbuster soundtrack, brooding and epic, my choice for the ASBO is The Batman

For Best Original Song (an award I never really care about) I originally assumed Naatu Naatu wouldn’t get nominated so would win (Damn Oscars). Anywhow, I’ve got two nominees. Pinocchio’s Ciao Papa is the emotional heartbeat of the film, while Binary Stars really brings out the tone of its own. I love a weird song and don’t really care too much, so the ASBO goes to Binary Stars – Neptune Frost. What does this song sound like you ask? Well…

Sound is what seperates film from the Stone Ages, according to Babylon, which while self indulgent sounded great. Nope was crazy and sounded epic. Meanwhile, my choice for its incredible under water moments and feeling of claustrophobia as a result is the true story drama Thirteen Lives, a strong film about the Thai cave rescue of a few years ago.

Nope’s spaceship enemy looked epic and the chaotic scenes were very well made. EEAAO, which has been missing from the ASBOs due to its Oscar success, had ridiculous practical effects throughout. However, in RRR the guy fought a lion and set a zoo on the british royals. If I set a tiger on Charles, I get arrested for treason, while RRR only gets an ASBO. Congrats RRR. Its stupid, but I don’t care. My blog, my rules.

G: Now on to the acting awards. These actors all provided such good performances they make Neymar’s dives look embarrassing in comparison. Not that it takes much.

Each of these women gave a brilliant performance. Whether it was Women Talking through their trauma or a girl finding themself in Finland. A mad woman with whom a future criminal finds solace, or a love interest. However, the top two here are both characters who really bring the themes of their films to the surface. Rasti Farooq was the wife left behind. Stuck in a patriachal society, she is forced to give up her dreams and her husband for what? However, the winner is Dolly De Leon – Triangle of Sadness. While ToS wasn’t my favourite film, Dolly was great, first as the cleaner then the leader of the island in the third act. She owned the place and her final scene was a masterclass in acting without words.

When I watched EEAAO, I assumed this small indie film would be forgotten by oscar time and that Ke Huy Quan would be an ASBO shoe in. Well, I got that wrong. The actors here all play great roles in their firlms from horrible creepy characters to characters of empathy. However, I’ll have to give this award to Gang Dong-Won whos dignified and understated presence in Broker really brought the film together neatly.

From a serial killer to a soldier who lived on an island fighting a non existent war for decades, is there anything these actors can’t do (apart from get Oscar Nominated) Kanji Tsuda, Caleb Landry, Alex Skarsgard and Mehdi Bajestani showed the descent into Madness in different ways, while Darin and Park fought for justice. Debutant Eden Dambrine put in a performance way beyond a debut level as a guilt ridden child in Close. However, the saddest, most vulnerable emotional performance of the year came from this year’s Asbo winner Franz Rogowski – Great Freedom. Playing a gay prisoner in post war Germany moved from a concentration camp to a prison over the course of three decades, we see a man stuck in a rut, unable to live his own life with tragedy around him. It’s a fantastic film, and he leads it well. Congratulations on your Asbo Franz

We actually watched Till, so will nominate Danielle Deadwyler for an Asbo. Likewise, the underseen Silent Twins and Emily both had strong lead performances. Blue Jean and Happening were raw pieces of solid human cinema, while Aftersun was just perfection, in part thanks to a good performance from Frankie Corio. However, murdering and seductive, this award will go to Tang Wei – Decision to Leave who convincingly turned one of the best noir crime films into one f the best romance films of the year. Well done Tang, you were phenomenal

P: And now for a big award. I’m very excited Mr Lineker

G: Me too Paddington. And the nominees for best picture are

What a brilliant set of eight movies. Each one of these from across the world tell a different, heartfelt story. Picking one winner is difficult. EO made me cry over a donkey while Great Freedom and Joyland showed aching stories of forbidden love. The Batman was a cinematic spectacle showing that superhero movies can be special still, while Playground, Aftersun and Broker showed brilliant and contrasting definitions of family relationships. Decision to Leave was a film made for me. A romantic noir much like the golden 1950’s, straight out of a Hitchcock playbook with beautiful shots and liquid tight writing.

However, the ASBO for Best Picture goes to… Aftersun, for its incredible depiction of family, depression and memories of a summer no longer here. Each element of this film was beautifully thought through and painstakingly put together, ending with the best cinema scene of the year. It’s on Mubi and took a couple of watches for me to love it, but now I can’t recommend it enough.

P: So is that all the awards done Mr Lineker?

G: Well, no it isn’t Paddington. Like Portsmouth on Match of the Day, there always has to be one last vital fixture

P: But Mr Lineker, Portsmouth haven’t been on Match of the Day for years. Don’t you mean Sou-

QUICKLY MOVING ON TO THE NOMINEES FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT AWARD OF THE DAY! BEST DONKEY

G: Yes, this year there have been lots of great on screen donkeys which have captures our hearts and minds, from those on deserted islands, sitting on the Irish coast, working in China or watching a football match in Poland. These four donkeys have done it all. Here are the nominees for Best Donkey.

Triangle of Sadness killed its donkey without even a moment on screen. Rubbish movie. Return to Dust was about a couple with a farm trying to live their lives freely in China. The donkey there was a loyal steed, what you want from a donkey. Eo was a Polish Stallion which wondered across the land looking for food and seeing the best and worst of humanity. They were wonderful, I loved that damn donkey. However, for her comedic prowess and emotional moments, I have to give the most important ASBO of the night to Jenny the Donkey – Banshees of Inisherin.

Congratulations on the most important award Jenny. Good night. See you all next year.

And we are back… With the ASBOs almost written up that must mean its Oscars time within the next 24 hours, so let’s look through who I’d pick to win the awards, starting with the major five:

Best Supporting Actor

I’ll note immediately I’ve not seen Causeway. It’s on Apple TV and I can’t be bothered to pay for it. I was suprised Judd Hirsh got nominated for five minutes of okay screen time. Barry Keoghan was the heart of Banshees while Brendan Gleeson was the second lead. Meanwhile Ke Huy Quan was the heart of Everything Everywhere all at Once (hereafter EEAAO). When I saw that film, I was convinced he’d win an ASBO award, but alas the Oscars snapped him up and are likely to deservedly award it to him. I’d fully agree with this, I hope Ke Huy Quan wins. His variety of Waymonds he played in the multiverse jumping movie was wonderful and he delivered my favourite movie line of the year perfectly about doing laundry and taxes in another universe.

Best Supporting Actress

I was suprised about the double nomination for EEAAO. Both actresses had a shot, with Jamie Lee Curtis mainly getting in due to how pally she is with the Oscar circuit. Stephanie Hsu is fine in her role, although there are many great ASBO nominees who would have also been great. Angela Basset was okay marvel at best, while Hong Chau gave it a good go in a difficult, melodramatic play. However, if there is any justice, the award will go to Kerry Condon for her performance in The Banshees of Inisherin. She was the heart of the film, opposite to Colin Farrell’s simplicity and to Brendan Gleeson’s hostility. She kept it grounded in reality when it could’ve been silly otherwise while also bringing strong emotional moments.

Best Actress in a Leading Role

I haven’t watched Blonde, so sorry. The most controversial nominee of the year was Andrea Riseborough in To Leslie who gave a conventional good performance in the film. While not as good as Danielle Deadwyller, I won’t hold it against her. Michelle Williams was good in The Fabelmans as well as Stephen Spielberg’s mum. She really brought a heart to the film, however in my mind it’s a two horse race between Cate Blanchett in Tar and Michelle Yeoh in EEAAO. Yeoh was great, she was exciting, energetic and emotional in a fun way. However, despite the slowness of Tar, Cate Blanchett was magnetising, owning the screen in a captivating way. Her characters breakdown over the course of the film was nuanced and great. It felt gradual and never forced. A tour de force of acting, it’s an essential performance.

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Unfortunately, one of my two least favourite performances on this list will probably win the Oscar on the night. Austin Butler’s Elvis was fine, standard biopic fair but nothing to write home about. Brendan Fraser’s The Whale performance was overly dramatic and really didn’t interest me. The other three performances were great. Bill Nighy was classy as a dying man in Living, while Paul Mescal’s depressed dad and Colin Farrell’s comedic loneliness were both top standard. This is actually the toughest decision in the blog post. Fine, Banshees, Colin Farrell. But go and watch Aftersun anyway because if that wins tomorrow, I’ll be over the moon.

Best Picture:

I think you can split this years 10 nominees into a few groups. You have the popular and unpopular. The good and the rubbish. The big and the small. It’s a really interesting bunch and even if I found 5 to not be to my taste, that’s fine because others would have enjoyed them.

10) Elvis was 103/106 in my film rankings last year. It was dreadful. Fat Tom Hanks with his accent? no thank you. Constant cuts and editing to make you feel dizzy? No thank you. Rubbish Amadeus parody opening line? Go home. By the time the film had settled it had already lost me. At least Dad enjoyed when we went. Shame he got COVID from it though.

9) Avatar: The Way of Water was totally fine, except for all the stupid decisions that weren’t inkeeping with the plot and the fact that nothing really happens for the first two hours (Oscar films were long this year). It was like the first film, but just not as interesting. It looked nice, but I was hoping they’d kill the bad guy to avoid three more sequels.

8) Triangle of Sadness is a real artsy film. But Joe, you like artsy films. No, I like good films. There is a difference. This film is made up of three acts. In the first one, an unlikable couple argues about paying a bill as the woman earns more in their modelling industry. A bit boring, but fine it’s a set up. In the second act, they’re on a cruise ship. It starts okay, but very quickly goes into rich people are bad which doesn’t feel fresh or new. There are endless poo and sick gags and 10 minute of Woody Harrelson yelling communism quotes he’s reading off his phone (Oscar films are long this year). The third act on a desert island is forced but also the most interesting part. It’s a shame they didn’t focus on that more and cut the other two parts. Oh well…

7) All Quiet on the Western Front is the Oscars attempt at anti-military propaganda. Based on a book and a 1930 film, this Netflix re-telling is an okay war film with a dodgy score, but an atrocious adaptation which fails to show the psychological horrors of war on its protagonist and brings in a whole bunch of extra scenes which take away from the source material nuance.

6) Top Gun Maverick is the Oscars attempt at pro-military propaganda. You know what you’re getting. Tom Cruise goes vroom in some fast planes. It’s predictable and easy, but pleases crowds. It’s also well made, so needs some credit. It doesn’t reinvent the wheel but flies high with its fans.

Now let’s talk about some films I was happy with

5) Women Talking was a well written, well acted piece about a group of Mennonites who have to decide how to deal with crimes against them, whether to stay and fight or to leave and if so how. It was an interesting piece, except one old woman kept wanting to talk about her horses. It won’t stay long in the memory of the film world, but was a fine effort.

4) The Fabelmans: This was the sweet feel good Coda sort of film for a family film club. Stephen Spielberg writes about Stephen Spielberg and his parents’ divorce. While sentimental, this film’s greatest strength is its honesty about his childhood. It’s a charming, conventional family film if not much else.

3) Tar: Now we’re getting to the films that actually deserve a best picture win. If any of these three films win Best Picture, it will be well deserved. The least likely of the trio is Tar, a 2hour 40 minute slog (Oscars films are long this year) about a female conductor losing control of her life. It’s well written, masters its pace with interesting scenes even when not much is happening. Cate Blanchett is fantastic as is her supporting cast. A brilliant piece of art which is better seen in a room with few distractions.

2) Everything Everywhere All At Once: The bookies favourite, it would be great if this film one as its got a lot going against it. Its been 10 months since release, the actors haven’t been big for a while and it’s a huge genre piece. The Oscars don’t like sci-fi or action movies, but this is just that and honestly the best version of that I’ve seen for a long time. A mother who struggles to get along with her daughter and husband who has a failing laundromat ends up multi-verse hopping seeing different versions of herself based on her choices while trying to save the universe from a great threat. It’s interesting, heart warming, creative and new and has captured the imagination as a box office success story. This is the sort of film we should be rewarding.

And the Best Picture goes to Banshees of Inisherin: While EEAAO did a lot well, Banshees did very little but did it very well. A razor sharp comedy about two friends on an island off the coast of Ireland, it was smart, witty and well acted. Martin McDornagh’s funniest film, this gets everything right. This film feels like its on an island and the simple stakes seem high based on the isolation from the world. It’s brilliantly paced and keeps twisting and turning in unexpected ways and has an unbelievably cute donkey in it. What more can you want. If anything knocks EEAAO out of top spot, it will probably be this.

Best of the rest

Best Original Screenplay: This years nominees are stacked. It’s a 50/50 between the madness of EEAAO and the razor sharp dialogue of Banshees. I’d just about give this award to Banshees of Inisherin

Best Adapted Screenplay: is maybe not as good (Glass Onion 2?, Really) All Quiet is an awful adaptation, Living wasn’t great at writing (its source material isn’t the greatest, so it’s an okay adaptation). Top Gun 2 is okay, so I’ll give the award to the only actual good one, Women Talking (although last year they awarded Coda over Drive my Car so the Oscars are stupid. I don’t care)

Animated Film is a ridiculous category. I haven’t seen Sea Beast so can’t comment, but if the worst is Turning Red, that’s fine. Marcel the shell was decent and Puss in Boots was more than decent. I’d recommend both films to anybody. However, Pinocchio was pure art, so should win.

Cinematography: I’m a bit short here as I haven’t seen Empire of Light and could only get through the first 10 minutes of Bardo. Tar was decent, Elvis had some good shots, but All Quiet on the Western Front looked the most impressive so that can win

Costume Design: If I’d seen Mrs Harris goes to Paris that would probably win, but I haven’t. Black Panther 2 was good but more of the same. Babylon was fine. Elvis was great in this regard, but the sheer variety of picture perfect costumes in EEAAO mean it should win this one

Directing is always a tough category and the 5 nominees here all made totally different pieces of art. Todd Field’s control of pacing was great and under appreciated by many, however the amount that Daniels managed to do to make a competent package was fantastic, so I’ll award them for EEAAO

Editing: again, all fantastic. Top Gun was really smooth. Elvis wasn’t my cup of tea. EEAAO was incredible in this department so has to win again.

International: Finally one that EEAAO can’t win. All Quiet wasn’t a great movie, so that won’t win. Close was an interesting premise ditched in the name of indulgent melodrama so no… Argentina, 1985 was a good legal drama. My top two are A Quiet Girl, an understated Gaelic film about belonging and EO a film about a donkey coming across the best and worst of humanity while finding his way home. I’ll back that damn donkey all the way so EO wins

Make up and Hairstyling: Ahh my forte. The two best films for this were Elvis which transformed this actor into a character and showed his decline well or The Whale which also uses make up to show increasingly I’ll health in a nuanced way (the only nuanced thing about the film). I’ll give this award to The Whale

Music (Original Score): This one isn’t close. The best thing about Babylon and the main thing that kept me there for 3 hours was the score. It’s on my film soundtrack playlist and felt so fresh.

Original Song: I don’t really care for awarding generic pop. What I do care for is awarding songs that are key and memorable in a film. Naatu, naatu naatu naatu naatu, naatu, naatu. How can the dance scene in RRR not bring a smile to the face

Production Design: How can you have production design when in front of a green screen. It’s a pretty good green screen huh Avatar 2. Best production design goes to Elvis

Sound Design: This is 5 big epics which all were rather fake-ish. Avatar 2, Batman, All Quiet, Elvis and Top Gun 2 were well designed and never felt out of place. The winner here has to be Top Gun Maverick though

Visual Effects: It’s an identical list to the Sound Design except replacing Elvis with Black Panther 2. Again, while Avatar 2 was impressive, it never felt natural. Top Gun Maverick did all the way, so that can win again.

Winners

4 – Banshees of Inisherin, Everything Everywhere All At Once

2 – Top Gun: Maverick

1 – Babylon, Elvis, The Whale, RRR, GDT’s Pinocchio, Tar, Women Talking, All Quiet On The Western Front, EO

In an earlier blog (not the last one, the one before ), I discussed the film Rumble and my new dislike of it as it was what you get in google when you search “The Film Ramble”. I looked into this monstrosity more and it turns out Terry Crews is in it. That got me thinking, Crews, Cruise. Tom Cruise, Top Gun. Tom Cruise, Scientology. That’s it, the powerful cult of Scientology is what’s trying to bring my blog down. Will I stand for this? No. I. Won’t. I am now officially changing this blog’s view to be anti-Scientologists and declaring war on them. Therefore, if this blog is randomly taken down or I randomly disappear, investigate Maverick himself, because this won’t be pretty.

Anyway, on to the reviewing.

Shrek, as a series, started off legendary. The original was fresh and new (if you forget The Princess Bride exists) and introduced a generation to the anti-fairy tale. With a bit of fun and humour for all, it was counter-culture everybody could enjoy in a sickeningly Disney world. The second film expanded on the first and provided Jennifer Saunders’ legendary Holding out for a hero. Then it all started to go wrong. The third film was a damp squib while the forth happened and I can’t remember much about it except the feeling of disappointment I had afterwards. In amongst this mess was a Puss in Boots origin story which apparently I’ve seen before as well. The problem with this is that I couldn’t remember it at all. Therefore, a puss sequel set after the four Shrek movies 12 years after the original seems not only a strange project, but one that is doomed to fail. Despite the odds, somehow not only is Puss in Boots: The Last Wish competent, but it’s actually pretty good.

The Last Wish starts with a big song and dance epic about how cool Puss is. He has a Babylon-esque party and then saves the day from a rock troll before dying. He’s invincible in his mind, then he dies. But this time, he’s died for the eighth time. Puss remains confident in himself until he comes across one of the coolest animated villains ever in Death, a red eyed big bad wolf of child like nightmares. Seriously, they didn’t need to go so far overboard with him. When Death humiliates Puss into running away from a fight, vowing to catch him, Puss loses his mojo and goes into the safety of a retirement home. This is where he stays until he hears about a shooting star which can give him his wish of more lives. He goes on a quest to find the star along with Kitty Softpaws and a quirky, suprisingly tolerable, sidekick dog, Perro. However, he’ll have to get there before Jack Horner and Goldilocks and the Three Bears, all while escaping death.

This film is actually surprisingly deep. Puss’ mortality suddenly changes him from an annoying individual who you don’t want to watch to a defeated wreck who almost seems to give up. His steely determination is built on fear, making him one of the most interesting characters in the Shrek Universe. The films themes of mortality and family are consistent but never feel over-bearing. Sure, the third act becomes predictable, it’s a children’s film after all, but due to the good work of the first two acts, it doesn’t feel undeserved.

Every single character has an interesting arc, with very few being fillers. Kitty Softpaws needs to learn to trust, Perro (the somehow not annoying therapy dog who has been abandoned by his family) needs to belong, Puss needs to deal with his mortality and my favourite characters Goldilocks and the Three Bears need to learn what family means. Seriously, they were great. Florence Pugh, Olivia Coleman and Ray Winstone have some of the best lines, both emotionally and comically. The delivery of all their jokes were brilliant and that’s down to the top level of casting. I mentioned Death earlier as well. This wolf’s whistling you hear before you see him is just fearsome. He really is an entity which feels unstoppable.

In a world of family films which need to have constant jokes every 10 seconds, loud and in your face (Thanks, minions), this movie uses its funny moments efficiently. Sure, not all the jokes will land, but they are used much more sparingly and at the right time, not in the middle of emotional moments. It’s a slightly different tone of humour to Shrek, but the structure of the humour is much more reminiscent of it. I laughed more than six times at this movie and that would’ve been in the first 30 minutes.

Visually, this film is satisfying. When Spiderverse came out, it felt like a game changer and this is one of the first films to use a similar style of animation. Unlike the duller Shrek colours, this film is vibrant in its lighting and uses motion brilliantly. The characters feel alive in what they do as does the world. In the darker and scarier scenes, the contrast to the light warm scenes is suddenly so much more striking. The use of different techniques to affect the pace of the busier scenes is smartly done. This is Dreamworks’ best ever looking film and it will be interesting to see if Shrek 5 uses a similar style (Although that film feels Far, Far, Away).

Puss in Boots 2 is one of those sequels which eclipses the first somehow. Made with lots of care and elements which somehow work despite the odds being against them, this movie does an incredible job with the tools it has and is certainly worth a half term cinema trip at the very least.

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish is out in cinemas now

Speaking of Shrek characters, let’s talk about a donkey.

So I’ve only been to the cinema with Cathryn a couple of times over the past few years. As far as I recall, our cinematic outings have been limited to Pokemon Detective Pikachu and Schindlers List, two nuanced arthouse classics. I was given full autonomy over our first post covid movie trip, so what did I pick? Did I go for awards darlings The Fabelmans or The Whale? Did I heck. Did I go for the fun, safe Puss in Boots 2? NOOOOOOOO. Instead, the choice of film which she willingly, yet questionably agreed to was experimental Polish piece EO

When we first meet Eo, he is a circus donkey, performing with a young woman who adores him and wants no harm to come his way. However, when the circus faces bankruptancy, he is taken away to another place. This is the beginning of his journey around Poland. He meets good and bad people. At one point he is stuck with a fox killer, while at another he is in a petting zoo for children with Downs Syndrome. To some he is a friend, others he is an icon. Some help him, others harm him. This film is ultimately a reflection of humanity and where it does and doesn’t exist. His tour is either about finding his way home or enjoying his freedom or looking for some tasty hay. It’s up to you how you see it. He’s a donkey, he can’t speak. There’s ambiguity.

Despite the ambiguity behind his intentions, Eo’s emotions are clear. His facial expressions are caught by close ups and accompanied by a wonderful undercurrent score all of which help you empaphise with this mule. You see his admiration of the big horses and the panic when he feels trapped. There are also shots with blurred edges making it feel like you are watching things from Eo’s perspective. He reacts in a very aware, but helpless way when he sees other animals being harmed. This is a donkey you want the best for.

The film isn’t always easy to watch. At the end of the film, there is a card which says that no animals were harmed and their wellbeing is the top priority. As this film focuses on man’s relationship with nature, there are of course going to be difficult moments to watch. These are contrasted well with beautiful moments. This is a movie that gives you hope and breaks you.

As well as being a fairly standard story, the film looks and sounds great. There are a variety of fun, experimental shots, which seem to focus more on man’s inventions and how they contrast with the calm of nature. This includes one seemingly random scene of a robot dog running. The scenery around Eo is beautiful as well, with a variety of long shots leaving me googling flights to Poland and the action encouraging me to bring a PETA banner. Its use of light, particularly in a momentary laser scene, is a thing of beauty. This really is a movie to watch on the big screen if you can because it’s more than a movie. It feels like art.

EO is available in cinemas now

I have a rule when I write this blog that I will primarily write about interesting films, not necessarily good ones. While The Fabelmans was great, I ran out of things to say after describing the plot. Therefore, it is to the credit of The Whale that it’s probably the most interesting film I’ve written about for a while.

The film is about Charlie, who following the death of his boyfriend has ballooned up to 600lbs. Following a heart attack in the opening scene of the movie, we learn he only has days to live due to his congestive heart failure. His life involves his nurse, a preacher who wants to save his soul and his daughter who he abandoned eight years ago, who is struggling with life. The movie then looks at people wanting to save one another in different ways, mainly looking at Charlie and his daughter.

No doubt the first thing you will see is that Brendan Fraser’s character is notably bigger than Fraser himself. This is thanks to a fat suit he wears. It’s convincing and never does it feel inauthentic. Alongside Frasers tall lumbering frame and some incredible hair and make up, we get this character that is not a man in a fat suit but a person.

Maybe it’s due to the fact that characters like Charlie don’t lead films, it takes a while to get used to. However, I feel the opening scenes set this film up to fail. When you see Charlie lumbering around, pushed along with a daunting soundtrack the film seems to relish a form of disgust. Look at this freak show, what an idiot. Obviously it’s a contrived way to show some humanity later on, but it defines him and at the point we realise he is going to die, we don’t get the full impact as we just see this body. Maybe it’s meant to be a reflection on a wider society, but it comes across as exploitative. There is a similar scene near the end where Charlie seems to give up where the music and his actions are made to look disgusting, not to show the fact this character has given up, but to show a horrible thing happening. It doesn’t feel sad but cheap. It’s in these moments this film has less heart, using the shock factor to stick in your mind.

The film wants to show a humanity in Charlie and Brendan Fraser does try that. He’s a character whose given up. His apartment is messy and dark, with very little light showing at all. He’s embarrassed by himself and is clearly not in a place where he wants to live, eating himself to death and refusing hospital treatment. Despite this, I never really felt like we got to see Charlie’s humanity. Everything about him is rarely said by himself. Instead his nurse will say things or his daughter explains his life and he looks sad. The film happens around him, not with him and that means we never really get into his character’s truth. This is ironic as his character always tells his students and daughter to write their truth. Ultimately, the story tries to say his truth is his size, which he keeps hidden from his students. This feels a betrayal of his emotional truth.

The film itself reminds me of Aftersun in its themes. It’s actually very similar. A father who has given up on life looks to create memories and legacies for a daughter after he’s gone. However, while Aftersun is a classy nuanced piece of cinema which feels genuine, The Whale feels more contrived, wearing its cognitively failing heart on its sleeve. Everything feels stage like and almost false. You can’t ever get over the fact they’re acting. These lines aren’t natural, they fit their themes. None feel wasted in a stage way, we don’t ever get our characters just talking, but instead working their way through a scene. However, the benefit to this is the emotional climax which will make audiences feel something and no doubt help Fraser win awards, unlike Aftersun’s more restrained Mescal.

I guess this review has primarily focussed on the negatives. Does that mean this is a bad film, no not at all. It’s well made and well acted. Charlie looks incredible and the scenery around them is brilliant. It also makes you think, portraying something new and different. However, its contrived nature means you don’t necessarily feel the humanity you should, the humanity that Charlie deserves.

New year means a new me, as is evident by the fact I’m actually writing on here as opposed to saying “Yeah, I should get around to it”. A new year also means an opportunity for a rebrand and a new blog nemesis, so goodbye Rebel and Jared (until your next films) because we have a new rival in town.

I was trying to find a link to my top 18 films of the year the other day, so lazily googled “The film ramble”, which is usually successful on page 3 of google searches (Not that I google this blog for the sake of it all the time, ergh I sound like a narcicist already). This time however, I was shocked to see something else come up… the film “Rumble”. This isn’t some new blog which sounds way too much like mine but cooler in every way, but an animated film from 2021.

Needless to say, I haven’t watched this shocking looking totally harmless family animation. However, I do decree the makers of this film enemies of the film blog. If you have any opinions on this film other than pure hatred, you’re not welcome on this blog either. Screw this film which was made to stop my attempt at stardom. Damn films, taking my top google search spot.

The following review will spoil the original Avatar (Obviously, stupid)

Speaking of films which mix humans and non humans with no doubt clunky story telling, let’s talk about Avatar: The Way of Water or Avatar 2. Now, it’s been exactly half of my life since the original Avatar came out, a time where I would’ve imagine Citizen Kane to be a biopic of that bloke who missed the penalty in Qatar, and I don’t think I’ve watched Avatar 1 in about 10 years.

So for those who like me, couldn’t remember, Avatar is alive again having had his body turned permanently into a blue person. He’s also been busy over the last 13 years as he has four children, one from the scientist who died and also looks after some Mowgli kid who was the son of the evil soldier in the last film. Their happy existence is ruined when the humans come back, including a blue’d up version of dead sergeant who was made using his memories (this isn’t the only non-sensical thing). To save his people and make something happen in the film, Avatar and family decide to leave the tribe and join the water people who have come straight out of a Sally Hawkins dream. While there, they will learn the way of the water over a long time before an inevitable low stakes hour long fight (It’s a 192 minute film)

So technically, this film has that aesthetic. The characters look kind of alive. It’s odd though, there is almost a smoothness which makes this feel like a video game in style more than a movie. Sure, it’s acquired and there are times I shook this feeling off, but soon enough we would go back to that odd feeling when the camera moved that bit unnaturally or too smoothly. Otherwise, the designs are all great. The creatures are interesting enough and the underwater scenes are vibrant with good use of lighting. If you’re there to watch a good looking film, you’ll be happy and that’s fine.

However, the story doesn’t match the first. Everything feels scaled down in terms of the conflict. There are so many lazy forced decisions from the characters and it feels designed so that Cameron can get to a place for a third film as opposed to a natural flow. Most conflict is because the characters aren’t fitting in to their new land, but after a while you stop caring. I also found there were just too many characters on screen, many of whom were forgettable and poorly written, for me to give a damn by the time we got to the emotional climax of the movie. There were Mr and Mrs, 4 kids, Mowgli and the water people and it was just too unfocussed as it meandered into average family drama with fancy characters.

There just didn’t feel as much to discover in this world. The sea creatures weren’t game changers and the safe environment of a shallow reef never presented any exhilaration that flying through a jungle would. Everything felt lovely and neat, which in a film about how beautiful but dangerous nature could be, just felt missing.

Ultimately, I didn’t hate this film. It was technically very good and worth an evening at the cinema, but despite the fresh coat of paint, this Avatar story just doesn’t live up to the original.

Tár is not just the second half of Avatar but a whole film within itself. Lydia Tár is one of the most famous female composers around. Charismatic, yet cold, we see her leading her last song in her round of conducting the Berlin Symphony Orchestra, having never lasted at an orchestra for so long. Everything seems to be going smoothly before she starts obsessing over a new cellist and allegations begin to come about over her conduct.

The main observation from anybody who watches Tár is that it’s a slow film, almost wearing this as a badge of honour. It plays its whole credits in the first 15 minutes and each scene feels long and drawn out, almost to a point of cinematic parody. In the first 30 minutes, we get a good 10 minute interview with her and then a 15 minute conducting lesson at a local university. At two hours and thirty seven minutes (18 minutes longer than the usual benchmark), this film feels like it should be so boring, but somehow, in an almost difficult to explain way it’s not.

Lydia Tár as a character has a magnetism about her. You want to hear every word she says as you feel she has an authority and a respect with her full unwavering tone of voice. Cate Blanchett brings a gravitas not often seen to the screen, particularly in female roles. Every word at the beginning feels cool and considered before she starts to lose this demeanour later on. Tár is partly a film about her driving herself into insanity slowly as her previous actions start to catch up with her. Yet, there’s a great intrigue about this as it’s a fundamentally cool character. Unlike the Hollywood Adam Driver punching a wall, the film is written with more class. We’re not seeing Tár shout and scream at the beginning, but getting more irate at noises, making irrational decisions, closing herself off from the world. She’s not exploding, but imploding and the story feels better for this.

The whole writing process is classy and grown up. We know Tár has done some things wrong to a former worker of hers. We know she is being “cancelled” for it, but we’re not told what. Why would we be? Lydia already knows what she did and won’t discuss it. Instead we see a list of e-mails in her inbox and her e-mailing about this. Her assistant (played by Noemie Merlant who is just great in everything) asks her about what happened and investigates it herself, but in an indirect way. We see her disgust towards the lead not through her talking, but through a text exchange with a friend, which immediately gives the asymetric information. We see the disdain early.

I mentioned earlier that the film is about Tár being cancelled. Yet, to describe it as that is a real disservice. At the beginning Tar has an argument with a black student about his refusal to conduct Bach due to his past and the student being unable to relate to him, before we see Tár suffer a same fate. However, the whole film feels like it’s about a desire to grab, enjoy and cling on to power. We don’t like Lydia Tár, but we’re interested in her. We follow her thought process clearly, her aloofness allowing us to study her with intrigue from a distance instead of supporting her during her plight.

Technically this film is a masterpiece. Everything from the production design (those lovely 20th century German flats leave me rather envious) to the sound to Tár’s fantastic powerful wardrobe (showing her as in control) all just work to great effect to bring together a great script and actor and deliver an intriguing atmosphere.

While you need to be in the right mood to watch a dragging ambient film, if you give it a chance, Tár really works as a piece of cinema. A well made, subtle but powerful script brought to life by the incredible Monkey from Del Torro’s pinocchio Cate Blanchett is a real winner.

What makes a good movie? Maybe it’s something that makes you laugh. It may make you cry. It may make you feel nothing at all except an empty despair about how everything is meaningless and all we do is die so what is the point of living. Then you watch Paddington 2 and suddenly you realise that’s what’s worth living for.

While this year, my blog updates have been more sporadic (whoops), this is always a post I enjoy doing as it allows me to write about the films I’m passionate about and highlight many gems that some of you may not have discovered. I did it last year and am looking forward to doing it again and showing the films which, much like Will Smith’s right hand to Chris Rock’s cheek, left an impact on me.

I have watched a number of films this year, so if your favourite isn’t on this list, you can see my rough full rankings here. Please do get irrationally upset, even if I really enjoyed more than the top 50. As always, if the film’s wide release in the UK was from Christmas 2021- Christmas 2022, it’s eligible. It’s my list, it’s my rules

As usual, I will show which streaming services you can find these films on. [£] means available to rent online

18) Children of the Mist

There is an intellegent eloquence about Children of the Mist which gives it an incredibly sad overtone. The film about the mountainous northern village in Vietnam and the kidnapping of brides starts off slow as we follow the life of Di and her loving mother and delinquent alcoholic father. The mother particularly is much sadder than she outright says, having been pushed into this loveless marriage. We see Di forced into a marriage with a local boy who kidnaps her. At first it seems unassuming, before becoming increasingly difficult to watch. She clearly isn’t in to him, writing about how much she loves another boy while sat next to him, but she seems to have less and less control of the situation, before we end up with an emotional climax.

This documentary is understated, yet each person including the director wears their heart on their sleeves as we see a male dominated society push around an innocent girl into a future she doesn’t want.

17) Onoda: 10,000 Nights in the Jungle

How about a Japanese war epic based on a true story, but there is a twist. The fact there isn’t a war…

Second Lt. Onoda and his small group of soldiers are on a Phillipine island fighting the Americans, and when split from the crowd there are only few of them left. When they hear of surrender, Onoda, who was trained at a special military unit believes this not to be true and vows to continue fighting. Despite Japan trying to re-call him, he doesn’t believe they can have lost so holds himself and his dwindling crew on the island for over 30 years. A brilliantly acted movie with fantastic set ups and cinematography, this long film doesn’t feel like 30 years as it’s regularly exciting and its characters interesting and conflicted as this imaginary war takes its toll. It’s a shame this film got such a small release as it’s really a fantastic study of the impact of war and training for it, in a different way with an incredible true story to boot. [£]

16) The Northman

I don’t think many films failed as bafflingly at the box office as The Northman. This was despite a generally positive reception to an uncompromising, exciting movie. It was probably the uncompromising nature that made it struggle, from the barbaric pillaging of villages to incestuous kissing. This film was exciting and stylistic. A rather basic re-telling of Hamlet, the performances across the board, the production design and cinematography made it a brilliant big screen experience, although there will be plenty to gain from a small screen viewing as this film will cut through. [Sky Cinema/Now]

15) Great Freedom

The best part of the Shawshank Redemption is the building of relationships over the long passage of time. This is also Great Freedom’s biggest strength as Hans, who is imprisoned for being gay in 20th Century Austria, develops a friendship with his murderer cellmate Viktor over the course of three decades as Hans is a repeat offender. The film shows the injustice Hans faces and the difficult life he leads, facing bigotry both in life and behind bars. As a “175”, Hans is stigmatised and is seen as worse than Viktor, but over time they build a respect for each other. A tough emotional watch, this empathetic character study is worthy of comparison to what is considered an all time great. [Mubi]

14) Happening

Some films on this list I will watch multiple times. Happening is one I will watch only once.  In 1950’s France, Anne is a promising literature student who is going far. All seems well in her life until she becomes pregnant. Not wanting a baby and scared of the consequences, she looks to have an abortion in a state where it is illegal to have one, or to even help someone to have one. This brilliantly acted and directed movie is absolutely traumatic, especially as we get towards a startlingly uncompromising crescendo. [Mubi]

13) The Batman

It was always going to be difficult for “The Batman” to outdo “The Dark Knight”. With Heath Ledger’s villain bringing an air of manic energy to the film, Paul Dano’s riddler would have a lot to live up to. Yet, in a way, the film is incredibly different. Instead of unpredictability, this film goes for a slower puzzle box of chaotic order. Maybe that’s why this film feels different but successful. Robert Patterson and Zoe Kravitz as the Bat and the Cat have a great chemistry and the film is beautifully shot with a great score. The best super hero film in a while, this Noir detective drama is a welcome change from the boring marvel template, engaging you with an underscore of suspense. This was a film worth seeing on the big screen as I said in a previous review. [Sky Cinema/Now]

12) Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio

In a year where there were three Pinocchio films, this was the only one I watched. Yet, having seen trailers for the others, I can say fairly convincingly this one is the only one worth watching. By the guy who did Pan’s Labyrinth and that fish sex movie which one best picture, this film is much more raw and emotional than anything Disney would do. The first 15 minutes are about Geppetto losing his son, before creating Pinocchio while in a fit of drunken rage. The film’s focus on mortality grounds it in humanity as we see the impact of Pinocchio’s immortality. The 1930’s fascist Italy setting provided a different perspective of the story, yet one not unfamiliar from Del Toro’s other works. While this isn’t a film primarily for children, it certainly is a film for family. The love and care towards the stop motion puppet craft is fantastic. Each character’s puppet is full of emotion and personality. The movement feel’s janky and imperfect in a way that works naturally. The look and atmosphere of each location is on point, helped by an absolutely wonderful score. For a film about a wooden boy, this picture has plenty of heart. [Netflix]

11) Girl, Picture

Should a character be likable? Maybe, maybe not. The problem with the three protagonists of Girl Picture is that neither are likable. The lead is a particular example of this. Mimmi is a cold individual who is maybe just looking to rebel, but is maybe looking for love. She works with Ronkko who is worried she is broken as she is struggling with any form of sexual relationship, so is likely asexual. Mimmi also falls for Emma, a perfectionist ice skater who has always lived a template life dictated by her parents. Each girl has their own stuff to work out in what is an honest, uplifting coming of age story. The film works as haracters don’t seem to linearly progress, but sway around. They think with their hearts, regularly upset one another in self-destructive ways, but ultimately do care for each other and there is enough there that you truly root for them. [£]

10) Photocopier

A Me Too noir detective film which had vibes of Bong Joon Ho’s film making about it, it was a surprise that Indonesian film photocopier didn’t hit a wider audience. A young woman wakes up after a party struggling to put the pieces together after some drunk photos lose her her scholarship. She also finds her t-shirt is on the wrong way round which increases her suspicions. People turn against one another as secrets are revealed in this brilliantly written and acted story. You don’t know where it’s going next and it remains intriguing, while also showing poignant messages around wealth, gender and justice. [Netflix]

9) Everything Everywhere All At Once

Out of this list of 20, EEAAO is most likely to still be talked about in 10 years time. One of the most successful independent films both critically and in the box office, this film had it all. A film which you have seen nothing like, this martial arts film about a middle aged Chinese woman having to use skills from the many Evelyns in the many universes to save her own is full of a mad cap energy which just works. This is also because it has a big heart. Despite the chaos, its just a film about a mother and her daughter trying to understand each other’s worlds. Evelyn’s regrets and struggles are an important part of the story which makes her appreciative of what she has. This unremarkable character is suddenly the important person in the world and really finds herself. A technical masterpiece, as well as enjoying the effects and the action, there is also some great performances from Michelle Yeoh and her on screen husband Waymond played by Ke Huy Quan. This is a beautiful film for anybody feeling lost. Review [Prime Video]

8) Decision To Leave

I don’t think there has been a better homage to the noir Hitchcock-esque films of yesteryear than Park Chan Wook’s Decision To Leave. Yet that feels a disservice to say this is a homage, as this modern day film also feels a worthy entry into the genre of its own right. Much like your classic Hitchcock film, it starts as a simple detective story. A man has been murdered, a broken detective investigates the wife and then starts to fall for her. We see the interesting relationship between the two bloom with a question around whether she was a murderer almost becomes a lingering second fiddle. This is only the first half of the movie as a story of obsession comes about. The film looks grand with shots which remind one of Vertigo and the writing is phenomenal. For any fan of the noir genre, this is essential viewing. Review here [Mubi]

7) Emily

This film was probably my biggest surprise of the year. The Emily Bronte biopic shows the (probably somewhat exaggerated) story of Bronte not fitting in with her sisters, falling in forbidden love, writing Wuthering Heights and then her tragic young death. This film was brilliantly acted, written and shot leaving us with a historic biopic which was exciting and engaging. Emily’s relationship with Charlotte was tense as was hers with the vicar she fell for. With its strict contrasting use of colour to show imagined fantasy and stark reality, the film feels familiar yet refreshing. Emma Mackey’s performance is certainly worth writing home about. I wrote more about it here. [£]

6) Flee

This is a marvel of film. A gay, unaccompanied child refugee’s journey from Afghanistan to Denmarkis told by “Amin” to his friend. As he needs to be anonymous, everything was filmed then animated, with his previous experiences also animated. This is possibly the most personal film you could see as Amin had never told anyone of his story for fear of repercussion. You see the impacts of what happened to him back them as well as the impacts it has on his day to day life and his relationship with his boyfriend. Today this story remains so important, so I implore you, please see this film if you can. Review [Disney +]

5) Mass

Despite some of what I have posted so far not being a barrel of laughs, Mass is probably the most depressing film on this list. Two families whose sons were both in a school shooting meet as they look for understanding, repentance or forgiveness. The film reveals information slowly as well as feelings. It’s beautifully written hitting crescendos at different times, before a sense of calmness and progress. At times, feeling like a stage play, Jason Isaacs, Martha Plimpton, Reed Birney and Ann Dowd all put in 10/10 performances meaning you don’t feel you can look away. For all the films with all of the effects that come out, nothing can replace brilliant acting in showing what makes a good film. Review [Sky Cinema/Now]

4) Titane

Okay, so it came out on Boxing Day 2021, so it shouldn’t be elegible. But due to my rule of no cinema between Christmas and New Year, I allow it. If you don’t like me talking about the car sex film, you can go to Surbiton Rebel Wilson Fan Club and hear about how Senior Year is film of the year. Starting off as a visceral body horror, I didn’t like Titane for the first hour. Our lead character is in an accident as a child, then becomes a serial killer as an adult and likes cars as much as Jeremy Clarkson. Yet when we get over this, the film gets more screwed up but fantastic. She cuts her hair to escape the police and claims she’s a long lost boy. Her new father accepts this and takes her home none the wiser (although there is a question of whether he knows he’s lying to himself). She realises she’s pregnant with car baby (yeah) and hiding who she is becomes more difficult as both her and new father enjoy this second chance at a relationship they both lost. For all the madness that happens in this film, it’s ultimately a sweet film about family and acceptance. The heart of it is why it’s in my top 5 of the year. Review [Mubi]

3) Paris, 13th District

Paris 13th District is When Harry Met Sally, but saucier, French and for the modern age. When two millennials become room mates, sparks fly. Elsewhere, a third character gets mistaken for a cam girl, so starts talking to her a lot. This film felt natural for its generation and looked brilliant. A strong soundtrack as well as some nice cinematography only helped some interesting, flawed characters all of whom you wanted to succeed. [Mubi]

2) Playground

At 73 minutes long, Playground is by a mile the shortest film in this list and arguably the smallest in scale. Nora starts school as a shy timid girl. When she finds that her brother Abel is getting bullied at play time, this sticks her in a moral quandry as Abel tells her to keep quiet. A harsh story about growing up and the warzone that a playground is, Playground remains really human, keeping the camera at Nora’s level while adults are almost headless figures. Brilliant child performances and a brilliant script make sure you have building feelings of anger and empathy as the film goes on. This is cinema at its basic and its best. You can see my full review here [Mubi]

And the film of the year is

Last year, my film of the year was Another Round, a Danish film about freedom and liberation, capturing something that was lost during COVID-19. While very few films have masks and lateral flow tests front and center, it’s difficult to argue that the effects of what happens in the world affects film making and even how you view them. With such a great disaster, we all had a chance to re-evaluate and come to terms with our mortality. Now we are returning to some form of normality, we think about what is important to us and how to better our lives which became stale trapped at home. We can live again, and that is beautiful, but also sad in a way, as we reconsider what to drop as the world is our oyster. This is an very feeling can be seen clearly in my film of the year, The Banshees of Inisherin

It was a Martin McDornagh film in Three Billboards that got me into film originally and showed me what could be done with great actors in an intriguing situation. I was apprehensive as to whether Banshees could ever live up to that. I’m glad to report that Banshees is McDornagh’s funniest film and possibly his best.. A simple film set on an Island off the coast of Ireland sees two friends a simple man (Colin Farrell) and a thinking man (Brendan Gleeson) fall out because the latter just doesn’t want to be friends anymore. There isn’t a big reason for this, he has just decided that Farrell’s character is a bit dull. Needless to say, Farrell’s character doesn’t take this lightly and the whole island becomes intrigued by this.

Everything about this film is on point. The script, the setting, the music and the performances, particularly Farrell’s. His comedic timing is impeccable and I chuckled lots when originally watching the film. The movie balances the grounded approach with the abstract. Half of the characters are almost parody while others are normal. There is also a dark side to the movie. It gets very on edge at times, but that balances the humour brilliantly. This film is art and if you can handle the darker moments, I’d encourage you to watch it. My full review is here. [Disney +]

See you next year.

Well, we are back, and yet again I write this film blog with a different Prime Minister in charge, albeit with a much shorter gap than last time. With the evenings becoming darker and colder, the cinema seems to be coming back into people’s minds. This also means the popcorn munchers, the bag rustlers and most callously the nacho crunchers. Despite the most evil specimens of humanity returning, we attempt to brave it as we have two absolutely brilliant films. The first of these is Decision to Leave

When the new Park Chan Wook film came out, I was ready to go and see it on my own. Alas, there was a delay as I was busy, before going to back down to my beloved Pompey. Little did I know that when discussing the films that were on at the Picture House in the City across the M27, mum would look at the trailer for this film and say she was interested. Are you sure mum? Yes. I didn’t want to fully put her off as I’d heard Wook had reduced his violence, but my knowledge of his films was the overly long sex scene in the Handmaiden and the horrible twist in revenge thriller Oldboy which saw the Protagonist unwittingly sleep with his daughter both of which would’ve lead to an awkward car journey hone. Despite my reservations, mum persevered so onwards we went. Thankfully, the film was fairly harmless, even better it was also quite the good one.

Jang Hae-Joon is a gritty, insomniac detective. Living away from his wife to work in Busan, life isn’t great. He’s struggling to sleep, with his unsolved cases looming over him and is falling out of love with his wife. His work is his true obsession. However, a new obsession wanders into his life in the form of Song So-Rae, whose husband has just died having fallen off the top of a mountain. A potential murder suspect, this young and beautiful woman becomes his life. He has to stake her out and get into her head to work out if she murdered him. At the same time, he starts to fall in love.

This film really feels a sweet blend of genres. Some noir detective film, also quite the romance it finds its feet in a lot of areas, switching between the two and intertwining them. The film wears its inspirations on its sleeves, playing like a Hitchcock picture at times, giving strong Vertigo vibes. Even the interesting smorgasbord of camera shots show this, whether through the water or at a quirky angle. Each small homage shows a film of old, yet with a modern feel. This is a 21st Century Vertigo, and that’s never going to be a bad thing.

For such a concept to work, the script needs to be water tight and it is. The obvious and hidden in plain sight lead to a great mystery, while the dialogue between Hae-Joon and So-Rae is intoxicating as they try and work each other out, with an increasing softness as he falls for her, poetically contrasted against the way he aloofly treats his wife . The moments of detective are serious, while some of the romance is almost comedic. There’s one point with a text conversation half way through which could easily be in any rom-com, then 5 minutes later back to murder.

Decision To Leave is both a thrilling noir detective film and a sweet romantic film. A brilliant script and acting makes this homage to films of old stand on its own two feet. [A-]

Decision To Leave is in cinemas now

Martin McDornagh has a special place in my film watching heart. Sure In Brugges was fine and Seven Psychopaths was mildly amusing, but when I went to see Three Billboards alone, that was the day I really got into films. Since then, that has been one of my favourite films, not just for being fantastic, but because of its impact. Therefore, I’m sure you could imagine my apprehension as a new film of his came out, The Banshees of Inisherin.

Banshees introduces us to a village island off the coast of Ireland in the 1920’s Irish Civil War. A simple place with a pub, a church, a small shop and a lot of farm animals, it’s fairly mundane. The film starts with Padraic (Colin Farrell) knocking on Colm’s (Brendan Gleeson) door to tell him it’s time for the pub. When Colm doesn’t come, Padraic feels uneasy as others ask if he’s done anything wrong. He thinks everything is fine, but Colm has decided he just doesn’t want to be friends with Padraic anymore.

Long story short, this film is definitely in my top 5 films of the year. A dark comedy, I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much in the cinema. The razor sharp script with incredible deadpan delivery lead to a regular ripple of chuckles from the audience which you don’t often see. A very British/Irish, dry style, the quips work with repetition much like a comedy sketch of old. When someone says something, it’s echoed back 5 minutes later in a whole new context. This script is ridiculously sleek.

The story really is almost rom-com esque in a style that it focuses on a break up. Some parallels are drawn to the mainland war, but this is really about the two leads. Padraic is mourning the loss of his friendship, almost going through the stages of grief. Colm is pushing, increasingly antagonising him. It is Padraic who we see have the most interesting narrative. He switches from being the village nice guy towards darker twists as the film goes on. He has two options. Does he remain similar to other nice village idiot Dominic (Beautifully played by Barry Keoghan) or does he become as cruel as the seemingly intelligent Colm.

Colin Farrell has to be in line for a Best Actor Oscar nomination (or even win). If not, he’s a nailed on ASBO winner. His delivery is stunning. Comedy performances are difficult, but his delivery as well as his facial expressions are top class. His character Padraic is meant to be slow and dull, and part of his charm is watching the character work things out a few seconds after everyone else. Despite the seeming simplicity, the script never gets to the point of parody.

Gleeson is also his usual class, as the grumpy man, while Barry Keoghan also plays a star turn. The real supporting star is Kerry Condon who plays Padraic’s sister Siobhan, an intellegent well read woman who doesn’t seem to quite fit into island life, with dreams of the mainland. She also remains Padraic’s moral compass, with an understanding of Colm’s character at the same time. However, her tact and niceness does a good job of contrasting him.

Where Martin McDornagh also succeeds is creating this atmosphere of Inisherin. The characters are all great, but so is the set. Whether we see sparse rolling hills or the old pub and shop, it all feels authentic and believable as a rural 20th century settlement. The town feels small as you only see what Padraic sees, allowing you to understand his whole life as every character seems to discover and react to him and Colm no longer being friends like it’s the biggest news to ever happen. Each character seems so odd to us, in a classically village way, that we get this charm and feel immersed in this place for a few hours, while understanding the characters in the story that feel trapped.

The Banshees of Inisherin is a class above other comedies. McDornagh’s funniest film, Farrell and Gleeson both eclipse In Brugges to provide a fresh, funny story in a beautiful remote setting. The simplicity of the story allows them both to shine as everything comes together brilliantly. [A+]

The Banshees of Inisherin is out in cinemas now