Every year I half write a few posts and never finish them. Here is a set of unfinished, unchecked reviews.
September Movies (Unfinished because I go in reverse order you get to see the boring films)
It has been disaster down my street I tell you. As the writer of South West London’s fourth best film blog (according to all known sources), I am in a huge turf war. I went to sleep on a Thursday night, and when I awoke on Friday, my street lamposts were adorned with flags of Jared Leto. Immediately, I went to take down these monstrositys, but then 10 Downing Street Fans of Leto came out and claimed it was just patriotism to their favourite actor/30STM band member/alleged sex cult leaders, but I thought it was an attempt to intimidate people who don’t like bad method actors/band members/alleged sex cult leaders. Anyway, let’s move on from this weird phase of americanised patriotism and go and do what we do best, pretend that people give a shit about my movie opinions.
Let’s start with the suprise hit of the summer: K-pop Demon Hunters, the Korean film which is all in English. A band of K-pop stars need to bring down demons. However, when a group of demon boys come along, the lead girl whom is part demon needs to defeat them while concealing her identity. How do you defeat demons? Well, the power of MMA and song of course.
The animation here is actually really well made. Inspired by the more action focussed excitement we’ve seen across Sony and Dreamworks, it’s an exciting well paced film. However, at the same time it is a film for young K-pop fans, so you know what’s going to happen. Your enjoyment of the film will depend exclusively on your opinion on the songs. Hate K-Pop? This film will be awful for you. Indifferent? It will be fine, but you’ll be bored by the end. Know one band more than BTS? Yeah, you’re giving this 5 stars.
I didn’t hate it at all. The songs were okay, and it was better than the title suggested. An average solid movie.
The Life of Chuck is a somewhat frustrating film in that it’s pretty difficult to describe. I went in almost blind as the trailer didn’t give much away. A three part story which really stretches out a Stephen King short, the first third is the most interesting. We see the world ending, with a mysterious message out there thanking Chuck for 39 great years. it feels like the time is up and is really helpless. We then go through Chuck’s life over the next 2 chapters, explaining the story a bit more. However, from 5 mins into the second act you can tell what happens
Act one is fantastic. An apocalypse full of mystery and intellegence shot beautifully. I’m there, it’s exciting. What a film. Act two is the only one with Tom Hiddlestone. Oh yeah, he’s the main advertised guy and is barely in the film. Act three is young Tom and it’s a fairly standard coming of age drama. The lack of time with Hiddlestone is probably this film’s biggest weakness. It means we get three acts with innterlinking easter eggs, but a lack of decent narrative. In the end you finish and can’t help but wonder what the point of it all was. It’s just a nice movie but really fails to be some sort of earth shattering revolution.
Caught Stealing is the latest film by Darren Aronofsky, a man who has only made one great film (I won’t say which). Austin Butler is asked to look after his neigbour’s cat. However, when a bunch of gangsters come along he’s in trouble.
It’s high octane easy action fun. Your usual popcorn jam. It’s predictable as heck. Twist villains, moments which will come back, everything. There is a moment where he needs to crash his car on purpose to get over killing his friend in a car crash. That’s weird. However, the cat was nice. I don’t have much more to say. I went to this with Liam which is the only reason it’s getting any page time in this blog. Watch it if you want an easy action movie.
Big Boys is a charming coming of age comedy about a boy called Jamie who goes on a camping trip with his brother, older cousin and her boyfriend Dan. Jamie is a shy boy with no esteem, however he soon finds himself falling for Dan, whom he wants to impress. Meanwhile, his brother is trying to get him to hook up with a girl in the camp. Of course, the hijinks ensue.
Another film which is pretty predictable, the awkward coming of age has been done many times before, and the awkward Heartstopper energy is hardly anything new. Despite that, this film did make me chuckle a number of times. It had its heart in the right place, and is a nice enough easy movie which those in my viewing all seemed to really enjoy. It wore its heart on its sleeve throughout. It was often cringy and awkward, so if you can’t stand that humour it’s a big avoid. But for a standard heart-warming romp this is probably worth looking for.
I Went to the UK’s Oldest Film Festival – October 2025
This blog will be a little different to usual. It will be a bit more rambly as I try and pain a picture. However, it will still talk about the three films I watched, including one which is a top 10 of the year contender.
Okay, I know what you’re thinking? What was the UK’s first film festival? London? Glasgow? Something obscurus. Well, that’s not even the question my click bait title is discussing. By “oldest”, I of course mean oldest average audience. I spent the weekend with the geriatrics, the infirm, those who if they were born the other side of the Atlantic would be in the running for President. I was at the Purbeck film festival. A festival in deepest darkest Dorset, one where despite the proven fraud, the Salt Path was still a sell out. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a live Q&A with Moth or Raynor otherwise I would have been first in line.
Day 1:
I got to the sleepy town of Swanage, Dorset around Friday lunchtime. An agonising journey on the number 50 bus was required from Bournemouth, and all the taffy chewers were using their mobility aides to walk on. Not a bad thing, but after 10 minutes of ambling onto the bus and up to the second level (Why, if you can’t walk quick sit downstairs), they’d stand there for 20 seconds picking where to sit, despite the bus being 20% full. Naturally, the driver would wait for them to sit down, and thus my 1 hour bus ride was much closer to 2. Maybe in peak season, I would’ve been smart to download the Brutalist for a re-watch.
Finally in Swanage, I got to Aunt Claire’s and to spend the weekend with her and her cats Flow and Flow. After a quiet afternoon of reading my book in a café (Pachinko if anyone’s curious. A very good read), we set off for our first film The Mastermind.
This was to take place at the Lighthouse, Poole. Not an actual lighthouse, but an art centre with pretty poor parking. Upon our cheeky parking in the carpark opposite in which we joined 5 other cars in parking on a double yellow, despite the single bay of cars parked opposite (Hopefully that wouldn’t come back to bite us later), we made our way in to the small cinema which reminded me of Curzon Wimbledon before its recent redecoration. My low and uncomfy seat was sat in, the local seniors were all set and after some adverts about Purbeck’s nature and the Salt Pig, an establishment which provides underwhelming food (these would be the adverts before every screening). We then got an introduction from a lady with a name which we weren’t told. She started off by saying seeing those trailers show how “Cool” it is to live in Dorset because of the Salt Pig. Never has Dorset felt less cool than in that moment. She then said the film is leaves you with the question “who is the real mastermind?” On the basis that there is only one character in the film, it feels as obvious as asking “Who’s the boss in Who’s the Boss?” (Angela, obviously).
Very aptly timed, The Mastermind is the new film from Kelly Reichardt (First Cow) about a man who leads a very simple and incompetently done art heist, stealing four pieces of value from the local museum. However, things very quickly go south with the police after him, and others. The film was very slow, and with the title cards being vertical certainly wanky. Reichardt is a slow film maker, and that’s fine. I was particularly tired, and by the end interested in where it was going (The conclusion is abrupt). Josh O’Connor is naturally charismatic and able to do a slow film well (La Chimera for example). However, what I found tougher to connect with in this than First Cow was that the character isn’t particularly likable. He’s not unlikable, but he’s a lone wolf and none of his relationships are particularly engaging. His wife is in one scene, and his kids are very American and very annoying. Unlike First Cow where it’s about the friendship between the leads, this one just meanders and you really don’t care. It has a couple of amusing scenes, but the slow pace leads to nothing, and no real sense of danger or urgency. The music was pretty cool mind. One for the art-house nerds? Not especially. One for the heist movie lovers absolutely not.
The real drama came when we got out and got the car park, as despite paying the ringo fee, our double yellow parking got us a ticket which wasn’t quite golden. A £25 fine not worth the film, and to make it worse we had a spiteful bus driver blocking us in for 10 minutes. He was pretty much gloating when he asked if we had a fine, and wasn’t prepared to move despite there being an acre of empty space. Should we have parked where we did? No. Was there another option? No. Did he need to be such a prick? Well, it’s the Dorset small town vigilante mindset. Thankfully, the satanic popcorn munchers sat next to me during the film were also trapped in.
Unrelatedly, I have a long standing theory that 50% of bus drivers are nonces, and the one on the number 50 bus I took earlier that day wasn’t giving nonce vibes, so whatever. Make up what you want.
Day 2:
Day 2 started with a volunteering shift at an unnamed Dorset Charity shop with Aunt. I got to hear about one of the staff member’s swollen tongue and a whole bunch of double entendres (Apparently, a Swanage Charity Shop is a hotbed of Sexual Misconduct/Harassment). We also had the second most memeable former premier league manager come in, a Mr Neil Warnock. Unfortunately, as an Exeter Uni alumnus, I didn’t get to tell him that “I also want to beat Plymouth so fucking much”. A solid 12 months for me, having also come across the most memeable a Mr Mick McCarthy in Charing Cross last December. One month to meet Mourinho in a pub and I’ve got the holy trinity. After an afternoon with cousin, aunt and I headed to the old Swanage cinema of the Mowlem to watch a preview of the Cannes Palme D’or Winner It Was Just An Accident.
This cinema which had a lot of charm. It’s a theatre/cinema and again was full of old people. The average age was certainly over 60, however there was one behaviour which I couldn’t endorse. One which should remain in Benidorm. People putting their coats on unreserved seats early and going to the bar for a couple of drinks. Poor poor form Sheila. Sat next to one of these people, I had taken my coat off and was sorting myself out. She asked me to make sure the arm of my coat wasn’t touching her, as it was touching her leg while I was just getting settled. I moved it. It happened to flick back on her leg while I was still sorting it out, unaware. She very quickly got the huff, tutted and moved to a shit seat. Anyway, that’s good Sheila. I’m happy you were miserable, you pathetic seat reseving cow. Old man Terry and old lady Beatrice sat next to me instead, and had much better vibes, despite Terry snoring for a couple of minutes mid film.
The film this time was introduced by an older Gentleman called Woody, whom I’d heard had a penchant for reading out the plot. However, this time his opening was really good. Not too much plot given away, but vital context and a few filming methods to look out for, and the context is actually really important for this movie.
Director Jaraf Pahani is probably the most famous Iranian film maker in the world. His films, often critical of Iran’s regime have always been done with small casts, one camera and very much in secret. This film, which is most bluntly critical of the regime was inspired by stories he’d heard from fellow inmates, as he’s often been banned from film-making and imprisoned for doing so. Therefore, you know his style is going to be pretty bare-bones.
This movie is about a mechanic called Vahid who hears a man with a prosphetic leg who he thinks tortured him in prison, called Peg-Leg or Eghbal. He spends the day finding others also tortured to work out whether it is Eghbal and what to do with him. Naturally, as amateurs it all goes wrong and Vahid, a fundamentally good man has many moral decisions to make throughout the day which could put him and his motley crew in danger.
At times really tense, at other times funny, this film brims with an anger felt by all the characters. They all deal with it differently, but the theme carries through well. The sound is great in this movie, there are subtle moments which work really well. Likewise, the way it’s shot is very good. You never see Vahid or “Eghbal” on the same shot. One is usually blindfolded, so they’ve never made eye contact. It’s a smart engaging film, and the climax is phenomenally acted by Vahid Mobasseri (Vahid), Ebrahim Azizi (Eghbal) and Marian Afshari (Shiva). The particular highlight of this movie was the final scene, which I won’t spoil, but it’s the damn best final shot of any movie I’ve seen this year.
It Was Just an Accident is essential viewing from one of cinema’s most exciting voices.
The Film Ramble 