Tag: Cinema

Review: Eighth Grade

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Hey guys, it’s Joe and I’m like back with another blog post. This post is about Eighth Grade which is like this coming of age film. So yeah umm… it should be a really good post for sure. I’ve noticed that not many people have been reading my blog, so if you could like share and subscribe to it, that would be like, really cool.

Did I do it? Did I sound like a 13-year-old? The above paragraph is an introduction into the world of Kayla, our focus in this coming of age film. Now, I’m not hugely into these types of films (cough *Boyhood*). But occasionally, they can be brilliant (cough *Ladybird*). Eighth Grade feels like the coming of age film for Generation Z, the young people of 2019, the generation who are growing up in this immersive world of technology. It doesn’t really feel like any other films which have a greater focus on parental relationships. It’s very narrow in what it tries to do as young director Bo Burnham tries to send a message across to both kids and adults about the struggles of growing up in the technology age.

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Review: Us

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As this is a recent release, this review will be spoiler free

Whenever you go to a horror film at the cinema, you are faced with a deluge of trailers for all other genre films, whether it be about some devilish murdering alien boy or the latest Stephen King adaptation about a misspelt animal graveyard. These remind me about how much I dislike the genre. Cheap jump scares, no story, character development and boring acting. By the time the BBFC age rating comes up, I feel like I’ve made a mistake coming along today. But I remember how much I enjoyed “Get Out” and am intrigued as to whether Jordan Peele can follow it up with this new film. The short answer is he can.

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Review: Foxtrot

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I like to eat marmite toast for breakfast. It has a distinct taste which I gain pleasure from. But if I have marmite every day, then after a few days the marmite gets boring and loses its pizzazz. However, if I have it once every three days and switch between cheerios, shreddies and marmite, then marmite always packs a punch.

Foxtrot is constant misery. Like marmite toast the sadness is always there. Very rarely does it pack a punch as you’re constantly feeling sadness but not really understanding what for.

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Review: The Kindergarten Teacher

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In the first 15 minutes of The Kindergarten Teacher, one of Lisa Spinelli’s (Maggie Gylenhall) poems is described as derivative. Ironically, that is one of the words I would use to describe this film.

Lisa Spinelli is a Kindergarten teacher who is bored of her life. Her kids are growing up with no creativity, her poetry in her evening class is lame, her job is boring. She feels lost and isolated. This is until she hears five year old student Jimmy murmur a poem.

Anna is beautiful. Beautiful enough for me. The sun hits her yellow house. It’s almost like a sign from God.

Anna

From here, she starts to claim his work as her own in her poetry class, with rave reviews. Lisa builds up a connection with poetry teacher Simon. She tries to record more of Jimmy’s poems, teaching him ideas such as perspective. Soon, she starts trying to get his father to support his poetry.

Then Lisa starts to go overboard: Giving Jimmy her phone number, becoming his afternoon carer, taking him to poetry events against his father’s will and more…

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Review: Alien

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Sat in the cinema, you see an old looking and sounding 20th century fox logo and BAM, you’re in another time, exactly 40 years ago to be exact, but being transported to the year 2122. Straight off the bat, you have a dark pan across space as the word ALIEN is slowly revealed across the top of the screen and an ominous drone similar to Stanley Kubrick’s “The Shining” plays and you know what you’re in for.

Image result for alien movie face monster

Straight off the bat, the scenery is eerie and grey in this futuristic ship which wouldn’t look out of place in Doctor Who (Sigourney Weaver would make a much better Doctor than Jodie Whittaker, but away from the point). Your three crew-members go and explore what is sending a distress call and one of them finds eggs, sticks his face too close to a hatching one and OH SHIT THE ALIEN JUMPS ON HIS FACE!!! The classic jump scare.

Back on the ship, they take alien face to their hospital and find the alien is feeding him oxygen. Weird… Anyway, soon the alien is off his face and dead. Alien-face is ok and they have dinner and BOOM OUT OF NOWHERE!!! STRAIGHT OUT OF THE STOMACH IS THIS WEIRD WORM THING!!! Is it scary? Nahh. Is it funny? Hell yeah.

The crew go to catch this alien and you think is that as scary as it gets? And you are wrong. This guy goes after the resident cat Jones, turns around… AND THERE’S A HUGE EFFING ALIEN!! WHAAAT!!!! It is going to go down from here on out. Can they catch it, will it kill them? Well, I’m probably going to spoil this a bit in the rest of the review, but you’ve had 40 years to watch it and if you haven’t by now…

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