Category: Film

Last week I had a moral dilemma

I was meant to watch this film with my sister Emma

She’d been looking forward to this since Septem’er

I came up with a solution for some absolution

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I said go to the film with your mother

As you just can’t go with your older brother

It’s company even though it’s another

They had fun as they’d discover

A new film by Lin Manuel Miranda

Telling his first story with musical candour

The writer famous for his high standard

John Chu’s direction wasn’t heavy handed.

Our lead Usnavi works in and owns a shop

In Washington Heights, NYC it’s near the top

It’s a community filled with latinos and latinas

Usnavi wants to own his dads pub on the Dominican marina

He also has a girl he likes, her name is Vanessa

He’s a bit awkward around her, oh bless him and bless her

It’s a warm time of year, around the summer vacation

But the main theme of the story is that of gentrification

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If you wanted a story heavy with a plot

It may not be this film as it doesn’t have a lot

Instead what we see is the warmth of community

They deal with tribulations together to give a form of immunity.

Most of the songs they have a nice beat

As we watch these people feel thrown out of their street

You will feel your head back and forth it will start to bop

As the rhythm of this film never seems to stop

The film’s great strength is that it’s rather kind of funny

The characters have heart, they sing about winning money

The ladies in the salon particularly made me chuckle

As my stony resting bitch face it began to buckle

You will also go “Wow” while having a laugh

As you see how well this film is choreographed

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Were there any issues? Well yes I had one or two.

Why this film went so long, I didn’t have a clue.

Some of the plot threads had rather some repetition

And the over editing is something to which I have a negative disposition.

These are only small things, reserve your indignation

This was still as fun as hours on a playstation

It was a welcome form of representation

For those without voices in the American nation.

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One last word about the way the film did look

Vibrant and imaginative, straight out of a book

The scenes and the outfits all filled with warm colour

This whole thing could have been much duller.

Summary

In The Heights is a fun, warm film which is ultimately about community and identity. With lots of fun song and dance numbers, it’s a brilliant family film which is worth seeing, despite its slightly inflated run time and over-editing slightly under mining the big impressive dance scenes. However, these are only small gripes and the film get’s so much more right than it does wrong. [Grade: B+]

Pretty much every film I’ve reviewed on this blog, I’ve done so having watched it once, in the last couple of days but not on the day I watch it. This is usually enough for me to reflect and honestly, I don’t have the time or money to watch a film twice. More often than not, I am fairly prepared to write about it if I consider myself to have something to say, while if I have little other than “it was alright” or “it wasn’t alright” I don’t write, but even so I know I won’t write. I found myself rather in a state of confusion and unpreparedness when writing this review, for in my opinion there are two distinct parts you look at. The lateral part of working out what is real and the emotional core. While it is possible to see both at once, depending on how you are on the day, you may only focus on one. When watching the father, I was in a lateral mindset, trying to work out what was happening in the film. What was real and what was the imagination? Now I have a better idea, I imagine a second watch will be even better as I can focus more on the emotional core now I know the answers. However, I will troop through this review to give my thoughts and feelings.

Anthony (Anthony Hopkins) is an elderly man with Alzheimer’s. He has trouble remembering everything and his daughter Anne (Olivia Coleman) is looking for someone to help care for him while he is in his flat. It all seems fairly jolly and normal before you go spiralling and see how bad Anthony’s mind is. You struggle to put things together in confusion. What is real? What is fake? Who can you trust? Well, simply nobody as what they say may not even have been said by them. It’s heavy and exhausting.

The main thing to complement is the film’s two stars. Anthony Hopkins brings a mix of showmanship and monologues with scenes of emotional integrity, anger, confusion and vulnerability. His Oscar win for this role is well deserved, with one scene in particular (those who have seen the film will know which one) sticking out. Olivia Coleman plays off this brilliantly, brining a real humanity to the role. She represents the audience from an emotional point. While you feel Anthony’s confusion, it’s his daughter who shows the impacts of this confusion of which he is not aware. The other four actors in the film were all strong as well.

The set is wonderful as well. Most of the film is set in a flat, which you start to map in your head, similarly to the Overlook Hotel in The Shining, yet behind each door or each wall is a mystery that you want to know, but also don’t want to know. You can map this place out, yet the subtle changes that happen throughout the film make this once common place strange and unnerving.

The whole film is written brilliantly as well. The screenplay is so smart and focussed. The changing of actors playing the same characters adds to the confusion, paying off fantastically. Every line has a purpose it’s an action or a reaction. Anthony is straight talking so we have no fluff. There were plenty of smart themes and symbols, the most obvious being Anthony’s constantly lost watch showing his inability to track time or the order of events. Director Florian Zeller remembers what is said when and uses it to great effect later on meaning you have to pay attention to each line.

I guess therein lied my main problem with the film. The amount of focus you pay to the script and the story makes it tougher to naturally be rewarded by the emotional performances. As I say, maybe a second watch will allow that greater connection, but for a one time viewing it is tougher to form that bond (moving from sympathy to a full connection) with everything happening, apart from during that one scene where you really can.

Summary

Certainly a film which needed multiple watches (Much like Hopkins’ character), The Father is brilliantly designed, written and acted. It’s a great, emotional movie to watch, however the amount of focus needed on both the story and characters makes it difficult to fully appreciate both at once. [Grade: B+]

When cinemas re-opened I offered a truce, a ceasefire against those with little etiquette. Consider it to be a good will gesture when an influencer as big as the third best film blog writer in South West London says they will not shame you. However, that time of peace is now over and therefore I must berate the audience in Screen 10 of Odeon Wimbledon with whom I “watched” the movie Godzilla vs Kong, apart from Liam. Liam, if you’re reading this, your cinema etiquette was exemplary.

If you go to a film which starts at 18:30, you should aim to get there at 18:30, not 18:45, not 18:45 and think oh I’ll get some crap to put in my mouth and be in at 18:55 when the movie has already started. I understand the way these things work. Sometimes, you have a delay or something you need to sort and can be a little bit late, but if you’re late don’t buy that shite as well, just come in (not using your phone light) and find a seat near the entrance you can sit in without disturbing others. I’ve occasionally ended up in a screening a couple of minutes late and snuck in with no qualms, but screen 10, no you need to chat, change seats multiple times, turn on your phone lights.

It is a cinema. Firstly, it’s not a restaurant. You do not need popcorn or nachos or anything else which smells and sounds awful. If you’re over 5 year old, grow up. Some people reading this may think this is aimed at them. If you are offended, maybe Surbiton Rebel Wilson Fan Club is more your speed. Secondly, it’s not a social club. You do not need to chat about anything while there is a film. The family behind me were constantly switching seats with one another and gossiping when not guzzling (or using pneumatic drills, I wasn’t sure which). If your child is uncomfortable, or bored, take them to a kids film, not a grown up film.

If your child drops something, do not turn on your phone light to find the object. You can wait 40 minutes without disturbing anyone. It’s not and you’re not going anywhere. Am I harsh for berating people who are not up to my level of etiquette? No, because their behaviour has negative externalities and if the film wasn’t a load of rubbish it could have diminished my enjoyment of the film. Oh yeah, there was a film.

There was something which looks like a plot, in the same way I look like a functioning person. Godzilla, who apparently at this point is usually friends with humans, “randomly attacks a lab”. Oh no, Godzilla only attacks threats, I wonder why he’s attacking a lab. Some humans bring out King Kong to help beat him. Apparently, Kong gets on well with this deaf child who can sign. You will never guess how they communicate in the end. Any, Godzilla and Kong fight, before something wholly predictable happens and the film ends. See, I didn’t spoil it for you, but after the first 15 minutes I could have told you the whole plot.

I know that I shouldn’t be judging this film based on it’s plot, but I really didn’t care about it’s characters. There are three sets of characters, the ones with Kong who are your classic boring allies of the creature, with maybe a secret bad guy. You have the investigators who are there for comic relief or to make a discovery. I’ll assume its the latter as they aren’t especially comic. You also have the villains who are villainous and yeah, whatever there is no character to care about. The dialogue is just as dull as the characters and there is the problem. Frankly my dear, I didn’t give a damn.

They have big CGI for the monkey and the tortoise, but the tortoise looked silly. They are then in big “impressive fights” in Hong Kong. Somehow though, these fights are so dull and don’t feel big at all. There are all from far out and show no human impact of destruction, so it could literally be my nan’s tortoise in a fight in a model village and I wouldn’t know the difference.

A shout out for deaf representation by the way. Except that the deaf thing is a trope used a hundred times for the plot. It was so refreshing to see Sound of Metal show some authenticity, but instead they use the character as person can communicate with animal using hands. It didn’t take much imagination and summed up the whole film, lazy. It felt just like Planet of the Apes and nowhere near the level of Shape of Water.

Summary

A messy excuse of a plot, nothing new, cliched and generally boring. If you want a dull unexciting sort of thing you’ve seen before then you will love Godzilla vs Kong. If you want an entertaining movie, stay away. [Grade: D]

In most films, any character who is down on their luck can be given sympathy. Sympathy is the feeling of sorrow for somebody’s misfortunes. It’s easy to do and it’s easy for a film to generate that reaction. However, one level above that is the feeling of empathy, the ability to understand or share the feelings of another. About half way through this movie, lead character Mary texts a boy, pretending to be his dad. At this point, I quietly (in cinema code compliance) moaned “Oh no”. What she was about to do was morally awful and couldn’t lead to anything good. It would be easy to sympathise with her plight, however the film put together such a brilliant character, that you couldn’t help but empathise with her in this moment. You see what she’s doing and how it’s making her feel and you understand why, suffering with her and praying it will find her some relief. It takes a brilliant film to do that, and After Love certainly is that.

Mary (Joanna Scanlan) is a white Muslim woman who converted to the religion after marrying her husband Ahmad when they were fairly young. She’s been married to him for most of her life and suddenly he passes away. While having to deal with this grief, Mary looks at her husband’s phone and notices lots of texts to Genevieve, a woman living just across the English channel in Calais. She discovers that Ahmad had been living a secret life with another woman and a son that she didn’t know about. When she finds Genevieve, Mary becomes speechless, but assumes the role of the cleaner as she discovers than Genevieve is moving to England, presumably to be closer to the recently deceased Ahmad. The film focuses on Mary’s grief as she comes to terms with what happened, while also looking at her relationships with Genevieve and her son. This is all in secret as they have no idea who Mary is, nor that Ahmad passed away.

It seemed likely after the first ten minutes that the film would see Mary give up on religion and lose herself. However, her religion and family were all that she had, so for the film to take a far more humanistic approach were both more sensible and rewarding.

Even at 89 minutes, the film is quite a slow burner. There are long periods of silence and reflection. There are many artistic scenes. The camera will zoom in slowly on Mary, exaggerating her face while very little goes on around her. A dissonant violin makes an entry in the more artistic scenes as they represent Mary’s world collapsing in around her. There aren’t huge effects or a great score to keep your attention. However, it’s made up for in other ways.

The main reason this film is so brilliant is Joanna Scanlan. She is phenomenal in the role. There are long periods where she says nothing and only speaks with her facial expressions and body language. It is such an incredible skill to do so and she pulls it off fantastically, leaving you with no doubt about her emotions. Her chemistry with Nathalie Richard and Talid Ariss make their scenes all flow naturally, a pivotal part of a film which primarily looks at the relationships between the three.

The script is beautifully written and the film directed by Aleem Khan in her feature debut. There are respectful looks at identity and family as well as mourning. The script does a great job of releasing information at the right time throughout and passages of English, French and Urdu show differences between the three lead characters and their identities. The story really does focus on forgiveness and learning that you never truly know anyone.

Summary

By the end of After Love, I was emotionally drained and exhausted. Joanna Scanlon brought out a performance as good as any I’ve seen for a long time in this understated, deeply human portrayal of grief, forgiveness and identity. All of the characters execute this tight story in a professional, considered way. It’s essential viewing and up there with 2021’s best so far. [Grade: A]

If she doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will. To see her is to take a sudden chill…

That’s enough talking about Rebel Wilson. On with the film review.

The villain origin film idea has always been interesting. However, in the past few years it had become somewhat common. It’s a really tough thing to make a character you can empathise with, while they remain bad and in keeping with a character you’ll dislike in the future. It can be somewhat sadistic with little let up. You’re free to make a story, but the ending is defined meaning that as a creator you’re constrained. I really felt this when I saw Joker last year (you can read my review of that here). With Joker in my mind, I went into Cruella with low expectations, however the film certainly did things in a different way truly came to be my biggest surprise of the year.

Based on the villain from 101 Dalmatians, the film starts with Estella as a child who is rather rambunctious, her mother is regularly reminding her to be Estella and not Cruella. About 10 minutes in, she and her mother go to a mysterious mansion where Estella’s mother is killed by the… you’ll never guess, a group of Dalmatians. She runs away and meets two other orphans, Horace and Jasper. Flash forward to when she is an adult and a petty thief along with her sidekicks. One day she gets a job with the Baroness, played by Emma Thompson. However, when some rather predictable secrets are revealed, Estella decides to take down the Baroness as new fashion diva Cruella. This part of the film runs in a very similar way to Now You See Me.

The film sounds ridiculous and it is. It’s far from perfect and there is so much that you could change, but the important thing is that it’s so much fun. Emma Stone is brilliantly cast as Cruella and Emma Thompson brings out a true evil as the Baroness. In the narrative, Cruella is unquestionably the hero. She’s straight talking and mean, however she is justified in the actions as Thompson’s character is so much more evil. You root for her and don’t question it. Her goal is to bring down the fashion icon, not murder people and that’s fine. It’s also worth nothing that she doesn’t want to kill puppies in this movie and that’s where it really went for an interesting choice.

This Cruella isn’t the same one from the animated movie. She’s much more empathetic. She’s not a good person, but the place the film ends is the polar opposite to where you’d expect it to. She isn’t as rude as her animated counterpart, but that works. You know she’s bad, but she is redeemable. This Cruella is a fun person. She’ll never be in a live action 101 Dalmations and that’s fine.

The middle of the film becomes repetitive and the whole thing is predictable. The use of sound isn’t ideal and you can tell the dogs are CGI. However, there is much more right with this film than wrong. The soundtrack is as entertaining as any around with a mix of twentieth century rock brining a lot of energy, even if it was overpowering at times. Both Emmas are supported fantastically by Horace and Jasper. Paul Walter Hauser brings along one of the screen’s worst cockney accents, but it really doesn’t matter. The film revolves around showmanship and uses it as its greatest strength.

Summary

While some may see this as a family friendly Joker movie, Cruella smartly deviates from that. Fantastic lead performances from Emma Stone and Emma Thompson make this very loose character adaptation much more fun than I ever predicted it would be. [Grade: B]

[Please note that there will be spoilers for Season 1 of Demon Slayer, but not for the movie]

It’s Thursday night in Odeon. I go to screen seven and I feel it. They haven’t been outside since before COVID, not even realising there is a lockdown. Their must is enforcing of social distancing in a way that would make Chris Whitty shed a tear of joy. These are the anime nerds.

I do of course kid the anime nerds out there. I’ll put my cards on the table here. I don’t really watch anime TV series, I don’t watch much TV at all. However, I respect it as a medium and it does some interesting things. Occasionally if it’s on, I’ll go and see it at the cinema (maybe once or twice a year) to see something different and I always judge it fairly. I had a great time with Akira while I also enjoyed Weathering With You. Needless to say Spirited Away is one of the best movies ever and I cried loads at Grave of the Fireflies. I also get a lump in my throat when Ash gets turned to stone and Pikachu cries. However, DSMT is probably the most hardcore anime film I’ve sat in, mainly due to how much it links to the series, which is available on Netflix.

Going into this film, I didn’t know a thing about Demon Slayer apart from what I learnt in a ten minute summary on IGN (which you can find here). However, I was curious about the most successful box office film ever in Japan. Therefore, while I will talk about the technical aspects universally, I will talk about the story from the perspective of not having too much information.

The important things to know from season one are:

A protagonist with a mark on his head (Let’s call him Harry Potter) comes home one day to find his family murdered by demons, apart from sister who was turned into a demon. He becomes a demon slayer, along with his friends, one is an annoying creepy loud blonde boy (Let’s call him Ron) and the other is overly excited and has a pig on his head (He can be boar-omir). They go around slaying demons and looking to kill the chief bad guy. However, there are some super demons, Premiership demons and Championship Demons. There is only one championship demon left who has super powers or something. Harry, Ron and Boaromir have been sent on a train to find the fire super dragon slayer, let’s call him Dumbledore and that’s where the film starts.

For fans of the demon slayer franchise, you’ll really enjoy this. While some of it was lost on me, there was plenty of chatter as the credits roled and it sounded excitable. I can only imagine that when the Community movie comes out, I’ll be just as excited afterwards in my Joe hair, in my Chang wig, in my Jeff wig in my bald cap. There isn’t much I can say from your perspective, but it’s fine.

However, for those who aren’t fans of Demon Slayer, it’s not as accessible. The film essentially plays out like a two hour episode of the show. Harry, Ron and Boaromir are on the train, and need to take down the higher championship demon which sends them to sleep and kill them via that. It’s basically Charlie Kauffman and they live out their ideal dreams, but need to wake up, thus some season 1 context being necessary. There are also significant story moments which will be lost on you. There isn’t really a neat beginning, middle and end. It’s like watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire without seeing any of the other ones. If you’re cool with that then great. Otherwise, maybe stay away.

The animation looks nice. They clearly put a lot of effort in. As demons only come out at night, some of the earlier nicer lighting is lost, however the interior of the train looks great. The style is fun and unique, instead of what I usually complain about.

The story had a few moments I thought were great. The emotional moments, especially in Harry Potter’s dreams didn’t have the impact on my they would desire, mainly due to my lack of time invested in Mr Potter, although the climax of the dream scenes was pretty cool. There were also some moments later on where the emotion seemed disproportionate, although maybe I was missing something, I’ll wait for someone who has seen the movie to discuss with me whether it was.

The rest of it was fine. The soundtrack was fine and that, although the film’s second act wasn’t as good as its first. It pivoted seemingly out of nowhere in a different direction and it would have been nice for it to have been alluded to, although it may have been and I wouldn’t have known. I don’t want to spoil it for those who haven’t seen it, but the story essentially stops, and it becomes a whole new episode which didn’t live up to the last.

There were some quirks that bugged me. I really did not like the Ron character. He is unnecessarily creepy, and I just wanted him to die. Boaromir was mildly humorous at times, although some of it was poorly timed and took me out of the moment. However, this was my opinion and if you like the show, you won’t have an issue with it. I guess the style of the anime may be lost on me in that regard and I’m not sorry for feeling that way.

Summary

Demon Slayer: Mugen Train is essentially fan service. Those who love the series will have a great time. However, those who do not know a thing will struggle as it’s not very accessible. While it looks pretty, the film is little more than two extended episodes stuck together, albeit with some interesting moments throughout. [Grade: C+]

There was something poetic about going to Nomadland on that Wednesday evening, in that it was my first cinema outing with my aunt for a very long time. You see, way back when, we used to regularly venture to the picture show together, in full agreement about the cinematic code of conduct (although she likes a burger in her new fancy cinema, a choice with which I am not yet comfortable, but love her unconditionally anyway). We have seen good films together (David Copperfield for example), we’ve seen bad films together (We both found Knives Out to not be our cup of tea). However, the greatest film we have seen together, in my opinion, was the one we saw in our last trip of 2020: Parasite. The fact that our last visit was a recently announced best picture, means it is somewhat poetic that our first trip in over a year would be the next best picture winner, Nomadland. Yet, this form of poetry pales in comparison to the graceful poetry of Chloe Zhao’s film.

In Nomadland, Fern’s hometown has basically become abandoned. Grieving over the loss of her husband, she has gotten rid of most of her things and now lives in the back of a van, as a nomad. We watch her over the course of time, interacting with old friends and family all of whom are concerned about her, and understandably so in the cold winter months. On the other side, we see her with a tight knit community of nomads, including Swankie and David, the latter of whom starts to have feelings for her.

While the above description seems somewhat vague, it’s not even me hiding much information. This film is a quiet character study, working on subtleties and character in an almost documentary like way. We don’t explore great themes of the world, but themes within Fern and the nomad life. There is both a feeling of community and of isolation. She has lots of temp jobs, such as Amazon. Dull if you let them be, but Fern’s attitude makes them fun. Amazon aren’t good or bad, neither is her lifestyle, neither is anyone. This is a film which is refreshing in that it doesn’t tell you what to think. You go in with your emotions, you take away what you’ve put in.

The main reason this film works in such a quiet way and that you buy into Fern is Frances McDormand. The woman can do no wrong. This film is on the other end of the spectrum from Three Billboards and yet she holds it with such care. Her Oscar win for this film was fully deserved.

If you are going to watch this, watch it on a big screen. It’s big, vibrant and beautiful. The far out shots of deserts and mountains are like art and are worthy of the trip to your local movie place. The old classical music sounds great on the speakers as well, apart from one oddly jarring moment where some sound clash took me out of it. Otherwise, Chloe Zhao had me for the ride.

Should you watch the film? Well, the other main reason to watch it at the cinema is no distractions. This film won’t be to everyone’s taste. It took me half an hour to really buy into. Don’t get me wrong, once I was in, I was hooked. However, if you don’t do slow or quiet films, this isn’t the film for you. That’s fine. This is the sort of film I almost don’t want to win best picture. If it’s inaccessible to a mainstream audience, if they go and see it, it gives all the other more accessible fantastic films a bad name. That’s no criticism of Chloe Zhao. Her style has always been slow and poetic and she does it really well. Like I say, it’s not a popcorn movie and if you go in expecting something loud and dramatic you’ll be let down. However, if you’re looking for something slow and sensual, there are few films better at providing that.

Summary

Nomadland is truly a thing of beauty. It looks and sounds wonderful and is carried incredibly by Frances McDormand. It’s not the most accessible film out there, but if you go along prepared for something calm and beautiful, you’ll get plenty out of it. [Grade: A-]

I only looked at the screen for half a second before the narration started “So you’re probably wondering how the world got like this”. I hadn’t even seen the world, just a blur. I wasn’t wondering. I didn’t care. Why did you assume that Raya?

Of course this was just a cliché. However, it should have been a hint. Besides I was watching a family movie after all. It just didn’t make a great start for me and made me worry about the rest of what I was going to watch.

The film starts off with a Lord of the Rings-esque lore narrative. The dragon land was taken in danger from these creatures which turn you into stone, however the dragons saved everyone, but the last one disappeared and only the orb keeps it safe. For one reason or another afterwards, the place splits into five parts, all named after the parts of the dragon. When she’s a kid, young Raya trusts the daughter of the leader of another faction, however this leads to the orb getting destroyed and the monsters being let lose. Six years later, we meet Raya as she goes to find the dragon and the five parts of the orb, kind of like horcruxes, but not. This film is basically Disney trying to make a toothless YA adventure.

As the film goes on, she gets together a rag-tag team of disney misfits, including weird sentient animal #83, annoying young male child #74, and weird hyper intellegent baby #3 with her three weird sentient animals #85-88. Oh and the dragon who is… going to teach her to trust others, despite the trusting getting them into this mess in the first place. It’s a disney film, you know how its going to go.

So far, I’ve sounded rather negative, but let’s get one big positive out of the way, this film looks incredible. Yes, that should be expected now, but comparing this film even to Frozen, the difference is huge. Each of the five places had their own unique interesting aesthetic. The use of light in this film was phenomenal and the whole experience was engrossing. The soundtrack was fine as well. The whole film was professionally made. Lots of love and attention went into it and it is unquestionably a good movie.

The problem is the usual Disney playing it safe. The characters are one dimensional and the heroic dragon is of course annoying and weak until the power of friendship saves the day. The comedy level is much more like an episode of new simpsons where quantity matters more than quality. However, that is only one person’s opinion.

There were plenty of children in the cinema and they laughed multiple times, because this is a family film. While I’m craving a fantastic new piece of art like Wolfwalkers or any other Cartoon Saloon masterpiece, these kids want to see the kung fu baby do kung fu, and that’s fine. Your family will enjoy the film, it’s good fun half term entertainment if you are waiting for that migraine tablet to kick in.

Summary

At worst another churned out formulaic output for the behemoth Disney machine. At best, a fun family movie for those who can’t face James Corden being a CGI rabbit. The film is beautiful to look at, however a lack of originality means it struggles to stand out from the crowd. [Grade: B-]

Raya and the Last Dragon is out on cinema, available to stream on Disney+ and is even out on DVD.

On a side note, while I wasn’t huge on this film, the Disney short before hand, Us Again, was absolutely beautiful. That’s worth looking for.

Apples really provided a tense movie-going experience to return to. Having taken my seat in the middle of Curzon Victoria Screen 3 for the screening, others slowly flooded in (without their noisy snacks) and a couple of old folks sat in the row in front of me. I was texting someone at this point, and one of the old fellas was getting a little bit annoyed, no doubt wondering whether this oik would turn off his phone (Yes, when the trailers started). For reference, we’ll call this guy A4, because of his seat number. Anyway, I keep on texting in excitement about my return, but I must say this story is not about me for ten minutes later, in come a couple of others, ready to sit behind me. However, they don’t have face coverings, but do have the lanyards. Ultimately, whether someone has a face covering doesn’t really bother me, in fact I didn’t notice that C6 & C7 didn’t (For the record, I’m B4). However, it was a big enough deal for our friend A4, who said with such indignation “I assume you’ll be wearing your masks” to our row C dwelling indiciduals. Note how I use a full stop in the this instead of a question mark. This is the sort of guy A4 is, straight in there with no craps given. Anyway, C6 & C7 are rather upset and say no, they have their lanyards. This should be this, A4 is suitably embarrassed and sits quietly, while C6 & C7 rise above this petty point scoring attempt at sticking the nose in the other guy’s business.

But no, C7 just needs to make one comment doesn’t he. “My mummy told me not to talk to strange men” as he walks way. Now he was near me, so maybe it was quiet. No, it wasn’t quiet. C7 was suitably pissed off and retaliated and this meant war. Within 30 seconds, A4 was saying to A3, again far too loudly to not be heard, “Them being in here without masks is risking my life”. Trust me, A4, you’re old enough to have been vaccinated and with a nose that size it needs to interfere with everyone else, I guarantee it’s not sticking in your mask either. C7 goes on to jibe loudly about how A3 & A4 shouldn’t be sat next to one another as they’re not in the same households. Again, dude be the bigger man. But no, this is pension warfare.

The ill feeling was palpable in the cinema as there were loud remarks after loud remarks. This truly was the popcorn moment. Did A4 & C7 not read my piece about the truce from last night? Is this what it is like when I fight SurbitonRebelWilsonFanClub? Either way, regardless of your opinion on the situation, it’s nice to know that for once, I wasn’t the biggest pillock in the cinema.

Now for the movie…

It seems appropriate that the first film I see in the cinemas of 2021 takes place during a pandemic. However, this is no ordinary pandemic. In this dystopian undefined era of Greece, people are getting random bouts of amnesia, which are unexplainable. The lead character (Aris according to IMDB) is a victim of this within the first ten minutes. He has a problem though. He has no ID and no family comes to get him, meaning he has to re-assimilate into society, completing increasingly specific and complex tasks given to him by doctors to become a fully functioning person. We know nothing about him or his past, only that he really likes eating apples. During this time, he meets a girl, Anna, who also has amnesiaand they start to bond as they go through this process together.

The film plays off like a dark comedy, with a few amusing moments interspersed. It’s very dry, much like fellow Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos’ The Lobster, albeit without such sharp claws. It’s accessible, but is very understated in its performances and it’s writing. Thematically the whole film is smart as well, putting value on what people remember, with those around Aris valuing his photos of his experiences as he must take photos of them. However, the film takes a more tender route as it goes on and becomes a deeper, much more profound film.

The actor and director do a good job of helping you care about this character, despite the mysteries around him. He is a clean slate and despite what his past may have been, you support him in achieving his goals. The storytelling as a whole is great as well. It uses a show don’t tell way of saying what’s happening, with small background details showing you the scale of this epidemic, but not saying that it is an epidemic. The reason the film sticks out is that you don’t have just one character with amnesia, but many. As the film goes on, we understand more about the character, although I worked out where the film was going fairly early on. I wish I hadn’t because a re-watch would’ve been so much more interesting.

The whole film is low budget, with very natural grey lighting. The soundtrack is understated and effective and the whole film was put together really tightly. The 4:3 aspect ratio shows a man closed into his small world with no knowledge of anyone or anything outside of it.

Summary

A quirky, dark comedy from which you get a tender emotional piece of cinema, Apples offers an intriguing and alternative choice of film to see on the big screen. Christos Nikou is in full control of the film as we watch a lone man with amnesia come to terms with his place in the world. [Grade: B]

Apples is available at the cinema or on Curzon Home Cinema

So we started on a sour note and I thought I would end on an upbeat note. When I got home, I saw one of my housemates and started talking to him about the film I watched. I didn’t think it would be interesting to him, however he is Greek. As soon as he heard a Greek film was playing at the cinemas, he was immediately interested. I enjoy international films, but sometimes you forget how important it is and how warm it is for the people from those countries to see their countries voice represented in this country, especially on a big screen.

By the time I press publish, it will have been 152 days or 1326.5 2001: A Space Odysseys since I last set foot in a cinema. However, on day 153 I shall gallantly walk into Curzon Victoria and yell just as William Wallace did in the Best Picture winner. I will be back.

In that eternity, many things have happened. The border between Belgium and France was changed by a disgruntled farmer, the Suez Canal was blocked and the rest of the world realised what I’d preached for ages, Paddington 2 is the greatest film of all time (Here’s hoping CitizenRayne.blogspot.com, the Raynes Park based 6th best film blog in SW London don’t read this). Yet throughout this, one has yearned to be taken away into a whole new world, and that yearning has not wavered, so here we go:

Over the next week, I doth lower my guard and embrace you all returning to the cinema. Whether you are watching the brilliant Judas & The Black Messiah or Minari, or you decide to see Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway, because why not, I shall not judge you or frown upon your decisions. Whether you go alone, or are making out during Schindler’s List, as long as I’m not disturbed, I don’t really care. It’s just so great to be back.

Personally, on Monday, I will be watching the Greek film Apple. I know very little about it, other than it’s about someone with Amnesia. At some point soon, I’ll re-watch Minari & Sound of Metal as well. I might even consider Ammonite, but that depends how my weekend goes.

My big news is because it’s now been five months without the cinema, myself and Surbiton Rebel Wilson Fan Club will be calling a ceasefire. It’s been a bloody, bruising battle over the third spot on the official SW London film charts, however what unites us all is the love of film and regardless of our different tastes, we shall both be putting down our keyboards and instead watching films.

I look forward to returning to the cinema with you all.

Unless you eat popcorn. If that’s the case, then you can piss off.