New year means a new me, as is evident by the fact I’m actually writing on here as opposed to saying “Yeah, I should get around to it”. A new year also means an opportunity for a rebrand and a new blog nemesis, so goodbye Rebel and Jared (until your next films) because we have a new rival in town.

I was trying to find a link to my top 18 films of the year the other day, so lazily googled “The film ramble”, which is usually successful on page 3 of google searches (Not that I google this blog for the sake of it all the time, ergh I sound like a narcicist already). This time however, I was shocked to see something else come up… the film “Rumble”. This isn’t some new blog which sounds way too much like mine but cooler in every way, but an animated film from 2021.

Needless to say, I haven’t watched this shocking looking totally harmless family animation. However, I do decree the makers of this film enemies of the film blog. If you have any opinions on this film other than pure hatred, you’re not welcome on this blog either. Screw this film which was made to stop my attempt at stardom. Damn films, taking my top google search spot.

The following review will spoil the original Avatar (Obviously, stupid)

Speaking of films which mix humans and non humans with no doubt clunky story telling, let’s talk about Avatar: The Way of Water or Avatar 2. Now, it’s been exactly half of my life since the original Avatar came out, a time where I would’ve imagine Citizen Kane to be a biopic of that bloke who missed the penalty in Qatar, and I don’t think I’ve watched Avatar 1 in about 10 years.

So for those who like me, couldn’t remember, Avatar is alive again having had his body turned permanently into a blue person. He’s also been busy over the last 13 years as he has four children, one from the scientist who died and also looks after some Mowgli kid who was the son of the evil soldier in the last film. Their happy existence is ruined when the humans come back, including a blue’d up version of dead sergeant who was made using his memories (this isn’t the only non-sensical thing). To save his people and make something happen in the film, Avatar and family decide to leave the tribe and join the water people who have come straight out of a Sally Hawkins dream. While there, they will learn the way of the water over a long time before an inevitable low stakes hour long fight (It’s a 192 minute film)

So technically, this film has that aesthetic. The characters look kind of alive. It’s odd though, there is almost a smoothness which makes this feel like a video game in style more than a movie. Sure, it’s acquired and there are times I shook this feeling off, but soon enough we would go back to that odd feeling when the camera moved that bit unnaturally or too smoothly. Otherwise, the designs are all great. The creatures are interesting enough and the underwater scenes are vibrant with good use of lighting. If you’re there to watch a good looking film, you’ll be happy and that’s fine.

However, the story doesn’t match the first. Everything feels scaled down in terms of the conflict. There are so many lazy forced decisions from the characters and it feels designed so that Cameron can get to a place for a third film as opposed to a natural flow. Most conflict is because the characters aren’t fitting in to their new land, but after a while you stop caring. I also found there were just too many characters on screen, many of whom were forgettable and poorly written, for me to give a damn by the time we got to the emotional climax of the movie. There were Mr and Mrs, 4 kids, Mowgli and the water people and it was just too unfocussed as it meandered into average family drama with fancy characters.

There just didn’t feel as much to discover in this world. The sea creatures weren’t game changers and the safe environment of a shallow reef never presented any exhilaration that flying through a jungle would. Everything felt lovely and neat, which in a film about how beautiful but dangerous nature could be, just felt missing.

Ultimately, I didn’t hate this film. It was technically very good and worth an evening at the cinema, but despite the fresh coat of paint, this Avatar story just doesn’t live up to the original.

Tár is not just the second half of Avatar but a whole film within itself. Lydia Tár is one of the most famous female composers around. Charismatic, yet cold, we see her leading her last song in her round of conducting the Berlin Symphony Orchestra, having never lasted at an orchestra for so long. Everything seems to be going smoothly before she starts obsessing over a new cellist and allegations begin to come about over her conduct.

The main observation from anybody who watches Tár is that it’s a slow film, almost wearing this as a badge of honour. It plays its whole credits in the first 15 minutes and each scene feels long and drawn out, almost to a point of cinematic parody. In the first 30 minutes, we get a good 10 minute interview with her and then a 15 minute conducting lesson at a local university. At two hours and thirty seven minutes (18 minutes longer than the usual benchmark), this film feels like it should be so boring, but somehow, in an almost difficult to explain way it’s not.

Lydia Tár as a character has a magnetism about her. You want to hear every word she says as you feel she has an authority and a respect with her full unwavering tone of voice. Cate Blanchett brings a gravitas not often seen to the screen, particularly in female roles. Every word at the beginning feels cool and considered before she starts to lose this demeanour later on. Tár is partly a film about her driving herself into insanity slowly as her previous actions start to catch up with her. Yet, there’s a great intrigue about this as it’s a fundamentally cool character. Unlike the Hollywood Adam Driver punching a wall, the film is written with more class. We’re not seeing Tár shout and scream at the beginning, but getting more irate at noises, making irrational decisions, closing herself off from the world. She’s not exploding, but imploding and the story feels better for this.

The whole writing process is classy and grown up. We know Tár has done some things wrong to a former worker of hers. We know she is being “cancelled” for it, but we’re not told what. Why would we be? Lydia already knows what she did and won’t discuss it. Instead we see a list of e-mails in her inbox and her e-mailing about this. Her assistant (played by Noemie Merlant who is just great in everything) asks her about what happened and investigates it herself, but in an indirect way. We see her disgust towards the lead not through her talking, but through a text exchange with a friend, which immediately gives the asymetric information. We see the disdain early.

I mentioned earlier that the film is about Tár being cancelled. Yet, to describe it as that is a real disservice. At the beginning Tar has an argument with a black student about his refusal to conduct Bach due to his past and the student being unable to relate to him, before we see Tár suffer a same fate. However, the whole film feels like it’s about a desire to grab, enjoy and cling on to power. We don’t like Lydia Tár, but we’re interested in her. We follow her thought process clearly, her aloofness allowing us to study her with intrigue from a distance instead of supporting her during her plight.

Technically this film is a masterpiece. Everything from the production design (those lovely 20th century German flats leave me rather envious) to the sound to Tár’s fantastic powerful wardrobe (showing her as in control) all just work to great effect to bring together a great script and actor and deliver an intriguing atmosphere.

While you need to be in the right mood to watch a dragging ambient film, if you give it a chance, Tár really works as a piece of cinema. A well made, subtle but powerful script brought to life by the incredible Monkey from Del Torro’s pinocchio Cate Blanchett is a real winner.