I don’t usually discuss my opinions on Netflix films I haven’t seen in the cinema unless there is a lot I want to say about them or I’m bored on a train journey. Both are true today, so let’s talk about Charlie Kaufman’s film.

We start off this 134 minute film with a car journey as our two protagonists the woman and man are just talking. The woman is monologuing in her mind about how she wants to end the relationship and it’s a little bit creepy as the man almost seems to hear her thoughts. Does he have the shinning (Not the shining, we don’t want to get sued)? Anyway they then go through this long 20 minute conversation about some pretentious shit which is as entertaining as your usual Kenny Jackett brand of football. These characters are pretentious, which means pretentious film snobs might like them because “Oh they’re like me”, but frankly to the rest of the world they’re kind of… you know…

After what feels like an eternity, they end up at the man’s parents’ house. Did I say that’s where they’re going? I can’t remember. Things are awkward. They’re really oddly tense. Professor Lupin and Tony Colette do a great job and this film is suddenly looking good as time isn’t linear and we seem to be getting into an odder creepier horror film which is a huge “mind-fuck”. I’m really enjoying this, like what is going on. And then… they just get back into the car and talk for another bloody 30 minutes about boring things and you know what… At this point, I’m thinking of ending things.

It wasn’t that I didn’t understand it, it was just more that I didn’t care for it.

It was just so boring for most of this. If 1/3 of the film is great and the other half is non-sensical boring gibberish which is meant to be art, then great, just read a film review of mine instead. That doesn’t take 134 minutes, unless you have the literacy of Forest Gump.

I guess it’s just Charlie Kaufman’s style which is hit and miss. I haven’t seen Synedoche, I was lukewarm on Eternal Sunshine, which wasn’t bad and I loved Ammonalisa, but this film. It could have been half an hour shorter and would have been 10 times better for it. It was as much a radio play as anything else.

The set design was wonderful. Everything was almost symmetrical and the use of dim colours was great for the atmosphere, when not stuck in a boring car. The acting was wonderful as well. Jesse Buckley lead brilliantly with Jesse Plemons (The guy who shot the kid in breaking bad) also brining intrigue. Toni Colette was also fantastic. It was such a shame the film didn’t have more of her in, because it was going somewhere good until it wasn’t.

Summary

With such slow pacing and long boring scenes throughout the film, I’m Thinking of Ending Things will be like marmite, with some loving it and others hating it. For me, Buckley and Plemons’ performances couldn’t save such a slow and boring meander into nothingness. [Grade: C-]

This film is available on Netflix…